Article20 things a girl should do before she ge...
20 Things a girl should do before she gets married...
Here’s the list:
1. Live by herself for at least a year.
2. Live with someone else for at least a year.
3. Recover from a broken heart.
4. Have a vacation fling.
5. Take a road-trip with a group of girlfriends.
6. Relish sleeping in a queen-sized bed by herself.
7. Get her finances in order.
8. Learn to love her body.
9. Sleep with at least one person she’d never want to marry (or introduce to mom).
10. Find reliable birth control.
11. Pay off as much credit card debt and student loans as possible.
12. Spend way too much on a something frivolous.
13. Exorcise all past relationship demons.
14. Travel somewhere exotic.
15. Establish a strong circle of friends.
16. Forgive her parents for not being perfect.
17. Have at least one night she can’t quite remember.
18. Experience some really bad first dates.
19. Find hobbies that fulfill her.
20. Celebrate her 25th birthday.
- Article by Wendy Atterberry
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1. Live by herself for at least a year. - Who wants to be lonely for a year? O.o
4. Have a vacation fling. - Do some random guy over a vacation? Trouble waiting to happen.
9. Sleep with at least one person she’d never want to marry (or introduce to mom). - Just sleep with him? that screams whore.
17. Have at least one night she can’t quite remember. - Once again, another not-so-smart idea. Getting preg and not remembering who the daddy is? Yeahh..
20. Celebrate her 25th birthday. - Probly a good idea.. even though I dont wanna wait that long lol
maybe you need to get out a little more
I agree.
I don't agree....There are some women in this country who like to see themselves as something of value therefore - don't want to sleep with whoever comes along.
There are also some women in this country that want to be married and experience life with someone else - other than experiencing life by themselves.
I agree with the original poster's reply. I'm 21 years old and I have found the man I'm gonna marry. When he gets back from Quatar we are getting married soon after. I don't want to live by myself for a year, or wait til I'm 25. I don't wanna sleep with random men and catch diseases...so...I'm goo with staying exactly the way I am....and marrying my man....and experiencing the rest of my life holding hand with the person I love the most!! <3
I do agree….And I find it really sad that there are still ‘some women in this country’ who can so easily discredit a list that encourages women to experience new things so that they don’t end up like, well, worst-case scenario : someone so judgmental, repressed, and closed-minded that they see themselves as (someTHING?!?) more “valuable” than those who disagree (or anyone else for that matter).
I understand where you are coming from. I am also 21, have also found the man I am going to marry, and am also stupidly in love – but not stupid enough to rush to get married. And I’ve already done everything on that list!!!
Good luck girl. I recommend taking a serious look at where that anger comes and taking a deep look at why this list bothered you so much. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but not something to enter into because you don’t want to live life alone.
Exploring the world is fun – you should go check it out sometime.
Experience life!! Just because you have sex with someone you don't know doesn't make you a whore! You must just be really young and have alot to learn and experience!! Good luck!
No, its called being smart and taking care of myself : )
Except the part where "it screams whore".
Just saying.
huh?
True that. I'm just saying with you. lol
totally agree. this is a list that just begs 2 cause a negative effect
i agree :]
not everyone wants to get drunken or watever
quite a few of those could actually jeopardize a marriage and those also definitely contradict the whole "learn to love your body" thing.
Oh shut up! Your one of those annoying negative people...
Says the person trying to put someone else down haha.
Personally, I think it's a great list.
Maybe you don't have to SLEEP with the people, but a girl is allowed to have a little fun. Ya' know?
Loving your body can also mean that you're very proud of it, and flaunt it.
Just because you might have fun with a couple guys, doesn't make you a whore.
And because of the "25th birthday" rule, that gives you about 25 years to do these things.
It doesn't say do them right before you get married.
Maybe you did them already, back in highschool, and regret it now, or laugh at it now.
Whatever the case, 25 years is a very long time to do all these things, without being labelled as a whore.
:)
These things establish independence, helping you make smarter choices later on. Clearly you care way too much about what other people want for you and not enough about what you want for yourself. They're suggestions. #17 doesn't mean go out and be unsafe, it means get wasted and enjoy it. #1 isn't about being lonely (although you shouldn't be so afraid of yourself) it's about establishing what you want and need to make your home and life comfortable. You can be lonely in a room full of people. Being alone is something entirely different and almost forces creativity. #2 doesn't say random sex, either. you just keep putting that out there, which means to me that you're way too cautious and are not LIVING life. #9 is FABULOUS advice. It forces you to decide what you DO want before #20 happens, and from experience, that's great advice as well!
Get out there and LIVE ladies. Make your mark on the world! Don't be afraid of ANYTHING. LIVE LIVE LIVE!
I can dig your opinion totally.
Well, in the world we live in today - sex is too freely given. Sex is supposed to be reserved for your husband but that's too old fashioned for today's culture....now so many people have sex on the first date and if the sex sucks so does the person - SO not true.
As for that last little sentence. I am living my life. I just so happen to want to live my life with the one man that makes my life come alive!!
@ Morgan if you live is made alive by one man, one person other than yourself, I seriously pity you...
I am very happy for you, finding someone who makes you so happy.
however, that's quite an ignorant viewpoint. sex is for whoever you choose it to be. who are you to say that's wrong?
"now so many people have sex on the first date and if the sex sucks so does the person - SO not true."
I think you have a point - maybe one of the things should be 'look twice'? Fun as it may be to experience as many bad dates as possible and have a few relationships to establish what you really want, maybe sometimes people (men and women) may move on too quickly? If the sex is bad, maybe it was because one or both of you were nervous/drunk? If the first date was 'bad', just how bad was it? Does s/he deserve another chance, when he may feel more at ease and less nervous? Sometimes it's worth getting to know someone better? And if your initial suspicion is confirmed (it was a bad date and s/he actually just can't make good conversation say!) then you can move on knowing you made the right decision. If there's something telling you to look again, maybe we should? Obviously it won't work in all cases but by looking twice and not being too dismissive there may be something to be gained?... Be open to the unexpected. That guy/girl who isn't your 'type' for example might just be much better for it...
Terra you are right on point girl!! You sound like a happy, independent woman!
As on 'older' person I'm with you on this one! Especially the 'alone in a room'. Living on your own does NOT = Lonely!!, far from it in my experiance. X
I agree with you AND the gal above. Life is about choices and recognizing that being conscious of one's surroundings and influence. Enjoying every little bit of it is part of this. If you choose to be married so early, that's fine. This article was not directed at you then. I'm lonely when I choose to be, and there is always a cure. I am almost never lonely, and I am certainly NOT afraid of being myself or what others think of me. I know what's right and what's good, and they are not always the same thing, but I never conduct myself in a manner that makes me uncomfortable or question myself, and I think this list was written to get people to live outside the box.
I SOO agree wth you terra and when i saw the post i was excited to see wht other ppl have added to the list and when i looked at the posts the post was taken in to a different direction!!! so i will contuine the list by adding more things i wanna do before i get married
*Take dancing classes.
*Have a really amazing vacation with my family.
*bungy jumping
*Sky diving
* camping for a week!!
*Do volunter work!!
* Shop in paris milan and london wth my girls!!!
PS: add more to the list ppl and if u dnt like one just dont do it and add one u want to do!!!!
well i thought those were the good ones...haha XD
I think that you guys are reading to much into this.. The list is not telling you that when he proposes you have to run out and do these things.. It is saying that to live life to the fullest and these are some things that you can do before you settle down. I have done all these things and I am very happy.. I am 27 and just married last weekend!! I am very happy I did not marry my ex at a young age cause guess what he is my ex for a reason!!! I love my husband and I would not change anything I have done in the past at all!!
congratulations vic on ur wedding.. :)
I so agree with you Carol..
I was thinking about some of thoes too.
You made me laugh.
Its not funny
but your the only one who's honest enough to admit it.
: P I'm glad it made you laugh, and thank you : )
Carol, Living on your own does not mean being LONELY. It just means independance & sef-reliance. Coming & going as you please. Eating cornflakes for every meal if you like because you spent all your money on that special pair of shoes - letting your cat sleep on your bed - not cleaning the bath because you can't be bothered... until that special person comes round for the evening! The list goes on......... :)
I didnt mean for everyone thats how it is, everything i said was my opinion based on how i think and believe. I know i would be lonely. I dont like being at home alone because itsw too quiet. Even with the music turned up full blast and the tv blarring. Its just not something I like, but if others like it, thats fine.
I do agree that girls need to learn how to live on their own if they have too. Skills like cooking, cleaning, managing money, and other things are really importaint and will help you for the rest of your life. I know living on your own can help you learn these skills.. but I just do not like the idea of living on my own. : ) There ARE other ways to learn the same skills.
just because its not smart, doesnt mean its not fun! just take precautions and live a little :]
Carol Burke I Agree
sleep with one person she soesnt want to marry?? thats the shit we learn on tv!
Dont Like
I third that
I have one: Pass minimum 5 hours in a mall without buying anything 'cauz her husband will always tell her : you don't need this or that"
definitely don't like.
25 :O i want to get married before 25...
I agree with just about the whole list but I think travel outside of the country should be there!
right on, I agree too..but I dont think I will ever get married, I just have that feeling. Been engaged a couple of times, already 35, oh WTH, I am actually ok with it. I have done most of these things already, actually spend most of my time with myself , go to school online to finish my education and live with my best friend and man...I am ok with all of this for now. Though, something in my life screams more. I have had really bad relationships and lost 3 boyfriends within the last 5 yrs, one to suicide , in which I found him, and 2 to overdose, multiple drug intoxication. Sad, but I am ok, what doesnt kill us makes us stronger....God Bless
I agree with just about the whole list but I think travel outside of the country should be there!
I LOVE this!!! Great goals! ;) Be spontaneous!
Wow, uhm.. I don't like this. Honestly, what if you've found that someone? What, are you supposed to show them this list when they propose along with a, "See you in a couple years, honey..I have to do a couple random guys.."
its not saying you have to do them. Its just saying go out and have some fun before your tied down.
i read that you are not at your full capacity to make that kind of long term committment until you are 25, but i also think i would be ready to be married at 24 (i'm 20 now) if it ends up being the guy i'm with right now. but i must say, i've done almost all of these things and i think they are important so you get all that young wildness out of your system! some people don't have as much as others though, so not everything on the list is imperative for everyone. but it's still a good list!!
3. Recover from a broken heart. What if you are marrying your first love?
9. Sleep with someone she'd never want to marry. Like others said, is it anyone's goal to become a slut? I know from my friends' experiences that one night stands can really screw you up and can be really hard to recover from.
12. Spent way too much on something frivolous. Shouldn't we be learning good spending habits to prepare us for sharing our finances with our husband?
17. Have at least one night she can't remember. BAD IDEA!!! Like someone else said, what if you get pregnant? Also, what if you do something to destroy your relationship with a friend or family member. What if you get raped? What if you end up in jail?
A lot of the others are good suggestions though.
Some ppl can marry their first love, but alot of times it turns out bad. I think if more girls had more experience with dating and being with others guys, then there would be less ppl gettin divorced, Alot of girls fall in love with the first guy... but its not always for the best, ya know? : P