ArticleBeing 20-Something
They call it the “Quarter Life Crisis.” It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and out worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
**Someone sent this to me last year in an email but when I feel confused, frustrated, or unsure of my life... I read this because it makes me feel better. Hopefully this will help some of you as well...
;){kind=link}
that was nice but didn't help me out at all
true.. i was hoping for some pointers... but thanks for sharing!
Life is a book with many chapters. Some tell of tragedy, others of triumph. Some chapters are dull and ordinary, others intense and exciting. The key to being a succcess in life is to never stop on a difficult page, to never quit on a tough chapter. Have the courage to keep turning the pages because you know a better chapter lies ahead.
exactly my thought. lol
it feels relative to at the moment, but there really isnt any advice there to help you carry the weight of being 20 something!! i wish there was i would have welcomed them whole heartedly.
This is awesome but as great as it is it doesn't really help with anythin; other than point out the obvious.
Actually, it's feels better to know that there's someone out there who feels just like you. At least I can stop wondering if i'm the only one who's so complicated and thinking what is wrong with me...
great article:)
gee.. thanks for reassuring me that i am a complete wreck. And doing so with horrible spelling.
I actually like this and don't think it's intended to be negative at all.... It's basically the reassurance that we're all going through the same feelings regardless of how different our lives may be.
I agree, we may live in different countries or have different faiths and what not, but we (as a general population of women) seem to have the same sorts of fears, hopes and dreams. I know I often feel like I should just give-up. That life is too hard. A friend told me the other day (she's 22 and a University student) "I wish I could go back to being a child. Back then I only had to worry about what to eat, and where I wanted to play. And who I wanted to play with. : Now I have to be an Adult, with responsibilities: to pay money, to survive, to buy my own food and things I need. (Where's my Mummy and Daddy to do that for me?!) Childhood seemed so much easier.
I got this in an email about 8 years ago and I've always kept it as a reminder. Makes me feel better to know that it's not just me.
Ha, I actually really appreciated this. It describes almost exactly how I feel in a couple different areas of my life. Who cares if the spelling/grammar is poor. And, honestly, there are no answers...or else none of us would be going through any of this because someone would have figured it all out and given us a handbook. So, thank you for this article. It's pretty rad to not feel alone in these, well, feelings. And it was pretty unselfish of you to take time out of your day to post this for whomever it may help. More than most self obsessed girls do.
if anyone was looking for answers then all that really can be said is ... just do it. Make the decision and know you can always change your mind later ... nothing is ever set in stone unless you walk around with a bag of quick-crete in your pocket (which would be awfully heavy)
This is me.....Totally..I so understand cause everything that happens in the article happens to me and I'm such a people pleaser that I hate myself for it after wards... Sometimes, I just...don't know where to turn...
this is me and i'm not even 20 yet i'm 17! i wish it gave me adive because i'm completely lost but i'm glad to know i'm not the only one going through this.
It's nice to know that others feel the same way that I do.
I am very thankful this was posted yes it did kind of lead you on to believe there was some cure with the header.But I get it there is no right or wrong answer or special advice.We are our own boss this article is to let us know we are not alone but I think you should feel a sense of relief and realize that we may not have it all together but we are not alone and to be quite honest i am truly relieved and inspired......and i am sure my spelling is not spot on but we are all here for support not judgement
and here i thought i was going insane. good to know other people have the same kind of issues as i do. not as alone as what we all thought.
Thank you SO much for sharing this! I think you hit the Quarterlife Crisis on the head. Being in our twenties is arguably the toughest time in our lives. Mostly becasue of all the uncertainty and change. It's so tough to get established financially, emotionally and with your career and friends. Relationships and friendships can change so quickly, and career aspirtions change too. I've heard it referred to as an "expectations hangover." I've definitely struggled with my own version of the Quarterlife Crisis and am glad you put this out there for all of us to talk about. Thanks!
very cool summary of that "mess" a lot of us probably are going through in their 20s.
I can understand those, who mentioned, that it actually did not really help regarding the actual problems, but the thing is - it is always you and only you who can figure things out. I guess, that this summary mainly shows, that none of us who are maybe struggling and think "well - common, I should be outta that age" are alone. I agree with Nicole, that the 20s are actually one of the toughest times in lifes.. things change so quickly, such important decisions have to be made and the thing with the boys does not become easier at all haha
anyways - thanks for sharing this :)x
I felt like i cud relate to the things mentioned but even though it made me feel like i'm not the only one who feels this way, it ddnt help much as i thought the article wud offer some advice!
No idea why people are being negative about this post, I think it is really nice to know that it isn't just me.
Excuse me. I'm not even twenty but I have one thing to say. If you think that is post is negative and doesn't help well then SHUT UP! There's a person behind this article who reads your comments. I don't know what any of you are going through but you at least should care about the person who wrote this or published it cause that person could be going through the same as you. And those comments aren't at all helpful. What if you wrote or published soemthing like this and you had this group of "anoymous" girls well you wouldn't fell to nice would you. I just figuered out why you are anoymous because you really ANNOY MOST! Thsi is for all those who wrote nasty comments.
Oh by the way I loved the article!!! XD
thank this article made me feel so much better im so glad it isnt just me out there feeling that way
I started worrying about my life when I was 18! I guess I started my Quarter Life Crisis early!
a great article,as it has been written about me.....although i'm 23....i faced period like this 5 years ago,for the first time....and is happening again...:((( i can't stop asking myself:who i am,what my purpose in life is,....i only wish i slept for a while....but there isn't enough time for something like that....
I'm at that point at 39!
Well itz good to her i m not the only one!! i turned 22 like 2 months ago and been goin crazy over a lot of stuff i thought i was being just too demanding well i m not and i read a lot of commands which said it didnt help soo i think if they luking for advice on “Quarter Life Crisis.” luk it up and if u find sth good upload it.I will try looking too and ya for now i guess the best way to go is try relaxing and livin in the moment and not killing anyone :D
hi i did find a wesite which tells u how to deal wth the crisis. hope this helps
http://personaldevelopment.suite101.com/article.cfm/surviving_the_quarte...
this was perfect.
i'm going through a break-up, i'm trying to finally get into college, and i'm turning 20 in about 3 weeks.
and i'm scared shitless.
so true, and you wonder why you dont feel at all adult yet ( or maybe its just me!)
I totally relate to so many of the things said there.. like the one with you laugh and you cry with all the force of your life and hanging on to the past while you know its already gone and everything is changing. or looking for a job and realizing you start at the bottom and not knowing if you ll ever make it to the top.. i dont need a guide or some sort of advice.. i just have need for pointing to what is happening, to relieve me of the confusion and to confirm im not at all a bad person.. cause yes that is also something i relate to!!
wow I finally know what is going on with me. I'm 19 and these feelings have been plaguing me for a while now. I thought I was just going crazy but I'm glad to know that this is real and it isn't all in my head :)
Sometimes we need the obvious pointed out. I totally relate to this! I'm glad I'm not the only one out there.
What happens in your 30's? Does it get better?
Thank you for posting this. I have all of these feelings but have never been able to put it into words. I am also happy to know that I'm not the only one going through this!
Is it wierd that I relate to this completely and I'm only 18? :T