I have read quite a few articles regarding women being unhappy about themselves, their bodies, hairstyle, make up, lumps, bumps, etc.  Haven't we all at some time in our lives looked at a magazine picture, TV celebrity or film star and thought I wish I looked like that? 

Then within 5 seconds of thinking that thought about yourself and the bits you aren't happy with about yourself respond with:

 1. Carry on digging into the chocolate bar, ice cream or bag of crisps you were eating at the time

OR

2. Thought right away I'm going to lose weight, go swimming or walking every day, I'm going to eat more fruit or veg, drink more water, start a diet, consider hypnosis, etc?

Then 10 minutes later gone back to what you were doing before. The thing is no matter what you do wether you try to diet, exercise or anything else you will still have something you are not happy about.

Eight years ago I wanted to die. It is such a strong statement but it's true. Today I wouldn't even consider taking my own life.  I went through depression, I gained weight, I lost weight, my relationship broke down, I lost my home, I was bullied at school, I had to face some demons in my closet about things that happened to me as a child which I didn't want to face and continually had nightmares about, but it happened!  I took a long hard look at things which have happened and wanted something to change, I thought my way out was to kill myself.  Fortunately I didn't succeed even though I didn't feel that way at the time, but I moved forward. 

The one thing I found that had been continuous throughout everything was that I have never liked myself, my body, my looks, my weight, you name some part of me and I didn't like it.  From that point I realised that through unpleasant emotional, psychological, and physical relationships throughout my life something had to change, it was like a light switch went on because if I don't like or love myself how do I expect anyone else to?  If I don't respect myself, how do I expect others to?

As hard and difficult of an emotional journey this was for me, I can say I am happy and when I say I love myself I don't have to wear make up every day or look in a mirror every 5 minutes, I mean that I love my weight, my body, my lines, my bumps, my wrinkles everything about me, because it is me!

To get to this point this is what I had to do:

1. Don't run around trying to make everyone happy, it's not possible there will always be someone or something that won't be happy or right.  Do what you feel that you want to do, if you don't want to do something don't do it. The first ten times you say NO to something you will feel guilty, but after that it will become normal.  I don't mean be selfish and stubborn, but if you don't feel like doing something don't be pushed into it, and if you are the sort of person that runs around after everyone else then you are entitled to be selfish once in a while.

2. Look at yourself naked, really look at yourself, it sounds corny but look at dimples, spots, bumps, scars etc. Okay, it might be that the scar or spot you are looking at might be a bit uneasy for you to look at but it is part of you, no one else has the same scar, spot etc. Everyone is an individual. I get spots regularly like the next person but I don't feel self-conscious about them now.  I have scars but they are memories about things where I was, what happened and it's part of the person I am today.  My weight is always up and down but I don't get depressed about my shape anymore, I always like who I am and what I look like, I'm not bothered if anyone else doesn't like how I look or what I wear, it's just me. No one else can be me but me! 

3. When you are not feeling confident or are feeling low don't act it. I hated crowds of people I always used to hide in the corner and was relieved when I used to go home, but now I just act confident and after a while you feel and become confident. It's like talking yourself into it.

4. When you get moments in life when you feel low, tell yourself you only get one chance at life, do what you want to do that makes you feel good about yourself.  I have often gone to a pub on my own, gone to the pictures on my own just because I wanted to, you have to learn to enjoy your own company and be brave to do something different.

I have had some fantastic feel good moments through taking a chance or doing something different.  Sometimes you can even say to yourself "I'm proud of me" and "I love me". After awhile you start to believe in yourself.  When you believe in yourself, other people then start to believe in you and when you love or respect yourself other people start to as well.

I know some people may think what a load of rubbish, but if you don't try it how do you know?

Give it a go, stop worrying about what other people think, and do what makes you happy.

Nicki x