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Coping With Anxiety

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For several years now I've been struggling with anxiety. For a long time I didn't realise that's what it was. I would find myself unable to go to lessons at school, crippled by the thought of being in the room with 10 other people! When things went wrong I would become so angry I would be throwing things at the wall and tearing my hair out.

I went away to university, thinking that 5 years of boarding school was plenty of preparation for being away from home. Maybe so, but on some days I would be so nervous I couldn't even get out of bed, let alone get to lectures. My grades suffered as a result, and so fear of failure created a vicious circle, not helped by my heart problems which put me into hospital three times in my first year. Unsurprisingly, I failed my first-year exams in spectacular fashion and spent my summer holidays revising for resits - for my 19th birthday I was back at uni and revising for an exam the next day. I failed most of those as well, and spent the next year and a half working at the local pharmaceutical factory, packing inhalers into small cardboard boxes.

Since then I worked for an activity company, but it turned out that living in staff accommodation was even more destructive than university. The drinking culture was even more heavy, and the living conditions themselves were.... well, let's just leave it with: I got pneumonia and my roommate ended up with pleurisy. I started taking Prozac after I tried to overdose on ibuprofen, which really didn't help. It lowered my inhibitions and I ended up drinking more and more. Eventually I realised I couldn't carry on. I used my day off to go home to see a friend play a gig in a nearby village, planning to get back to work the next morning ready to start at 8am. I ended up staying in the pub long after my friends left, drinking JagerBombs with complete strangers and leaving with some guy. I ended up at the station on my own with hours til the next train. I don't really remember much of what happened, but from what my friend who I phoned told me I'd completely lost it. I ended up getting picked up and taken home, but I snuck out to go and stay with a male friend. We found out in the morning that after my friend saw I hadn't turned up for work, he told my boss about my phone call, he'd phoned my mother, and my mum, unable to find me, phoned the police, who had to come round and check I wasn't being held against my will!

When I finally got back to work, I handed in my four weeks' notice, although we agreed I'd only stay a week. Knowing I was then leaving made me feel a million times better, and I had the best week ever. I snogged the guy I'd fancied for ages on my last night there, and carried on seeing him for a while afterwards. I think that really was the point where things started turning around.

I took some time out, and also changed my medication to Citalopram which was supposed to help with my anxiety issues. When I looked into anxiety disorders I knew that this was what I had been struggling with for so long. I've stopped biting my nails down to the quick, chewing my fingers till they bleed and pulling my hair out. I've found a new job, working part time in a cafe, and I've cut down my drinking so much it's hard to believe I'm the same person! Then at my 21st birthday party I met a guy who I had an amazing connection with. It turns out we want exactly the same thing; and both have struggles with mental health. Knowing I have his support, and being able to be there for someone else as well, is having a huge effect. I'm still having difficulties - I was away for a week with a group from church and had a very hard time being away from the support I have at home, but after that I know I can do it and hopefully will be able to do it again.

I know how important having the help of my family and friends has been to me, and I'm writing this hoping that someone might read it and see something of themselves, and know that they're not the only one. If that's you, I hope this helps, and that things look better for you soon.

that helped.. a lot (:

yes that really does help. ive had this going on with me as well but i could never tell and recognize what was going on.

where do you go for help?x

i most definelty have anxiety and i am a freshman in college and just noticed it about a week ago. My dad kept telling me i did and that i need to see a doctor but i already knew i had it but didnt watn to be told i did.

I didn't see anyone about it until it was too late, and risked my health in the process. Your doctor most likely deals with this all the time. If you're struggling to cope don't be afraid to ask for help. If you are in the UK I know the site www.nhs.uk/LiveWell is full of helpful information, I don't know but I'm sure there are similiar sites in the US. good luck xxxxx

My anxiety got so bad a few years ago I started having panic attacks whenever I'd go anywhere by myself for more than half of an hour. I had to quit work. Took 3 years to get on disability. Things are a bit better now, but since I have a horrible time remembering to take my medication, I don't know if things will ever "normal" with me. But it really is important for everyone suffering from anxiety disorders to know they are not alone! Thank you for posting this. :)

I can tell you i know what it feels like to have so much anxiety. When I was younger I was so afraid I refused to eat, brush my teeth, and even had a hard time sleep. The only thing I would do was take looong baths and read. Somehow I cured myself. i read a story called Beware Princess Elizabeth and from seeing how treachorous and truly frightening her life was I guess i felt better. i even started to eat again. And my mom ordered some cassettes about relaxation and curing your anxiety. I can tell you that now I'm a pretty calm person, i even indulge in a scary movie ever once in a while. The only thing that you really need is to want to get better. if you don't want to their is virtually nothing anybody else can do. But do go to that therapist, they help oodles too.

i went to a friend of mine who is pretty much a doctor. she told me i have a disorder meaning anxiety will be affecting me very often and she is right. but i have to admit this helps a lot. thank you.

Um...How does that help anyone else dealing with the same issues? I need to know how to handle my anxiety in a practical manner without medication if at all possible.

Neva
I don't know whether this will help for you but I find that when I am really struggling to cope I up my physical excersise, as well as releasing endorphins being physically tired helps sleeping which in turn helps to reduce my anxiety. The other thing I do is write to myself (I know it sounds silly) I sit down with pencil and paper and litterally write whatever comes into my head. When I start writing it is on a concious level, however after a few minutes of writing something takes over and it becomes more subconcious - this can usually tell me what is bothering me the most. If you try the writing turn off your phone and do it when no one else is around it is much easier with no distractions................ I hope this helps

You could also try Bach's rescue remedy - it relaxes you, just enough to help you breath again!

wow, you know bachs rescue remedies- theres not many people liek that.
i do something like that too.
sometimes, when ive had a very bad day or something, i just sit down with my diary and start writign. when i read it agian i find that i am not a very good writer ;) but it just helps to write it off your soul. :)
i was really nervous once because i was bullied by my first crush and as a result i started sweating- THAT was not nice.

but at some point i just started NOT caring about what other people said and i started standing up for myself and stuff and i dont know what caused it it jsut sort of happened.
i remember that i kept saying to myself that i was confident, strong, i look nice, i am smart, and everything like and i think that sorta helped me.
so yeah, now im totally cool with anything ;)

Hey,
It really does help to know that other people have the same problem. My goal in life is to also work out my anxiety without meds. The things I have been doing to help it is to first off, tell all my good friends. Once you have done that, you just feela a sense of reliefknowing people won't judge you if you have to leave the room for a bit or other quirks we have like that. Another thing I do is push myself to my limits. For me I get anxious and sometimes have panic attacks when I go to sleepovers and have to be in large crowds. I try to do as much as I can that involves one of those becuase if your going to get over them, you have to keep fighting it with whats wrong. I also feel like writing down things or talking the out helps. Heck, if you wanted to, going to a psychologist actually really helps! Keep pushing on!
anna

I started getting panic attacks in 2nd grade I took zoftloft until 5th grade when I gradually stopped taking it. I had a couple of panic attacks that year but in 4th grade I would get them multiple times a day. it was weird to me that I stopped taking medication right as I was moving to a middle school somewhere new and scary. But I haven't had a panic attack in almost a year and only 2 the year before. Oddly for me I found that performing in theater really helped me over come my panic attacks.

Thank you for posting this. I have been dealing with anxiety disorder my whole life, I still remember the panic attacks that I had i the middle of class when I was in elementary school. Doctors tried to help me with counseling and meds by treating "depression". Nothing ever worked. A few months ago my new doctor diagnosed me with Anxiety Disorder. I took the pills the first couple of months and noticed a big difference but started my whole procrastination with buying the medicine and holding off. I keep telling myself that I am going to buy them when I get paid but something else comes up and I feel that it is more important. I am realizing now that my health is the most important thing and I should be maintaining it especially for by signicifact other and our 5 1/2 year old son. Hopefully all of us suffering with this disorder and others will find resolution and acceptance so that we can strive to be the best we can be.

Thank you for posting this. After losing my dad 9 years ago, I have struggled with depression, as well as numerous fears / phobias. I am going through a patch of bad health, which is affecting me loads. I had a fantastic job, that i loved, but due to my health problems, I had to leave. That was three years ago, and since then I have become very anxious. I can't stand being in crowds, I hate being far from home, and I have panic attacks for silly little reasons. Nothing I have tried has worked for me, and it is affecting my depression too. It is a vicious cycle, and a lot of people don't understand how crippling it can be to have mental health problems.
It helps to know that there are people out there who suffer from the same, or at least similar, issues, as I always beat myself up about it, thinking there is something terribly wrong inside my head. I know it is not true, and that it is not as uncommon as a lot of people think, but that's how an affected mind works :(
You have, however, given me the belief that i CAN get better, I just need to push my self a little harder to get through the situations that cause the anxiety.
Kindest Regards
xxxxxxxxxxx

I don't know if it would help but I used to suffer from PMDD and have anxiety attacks. The doctor told me that exercise can really help tame it a bit. Endorphins and what not. The exercise might help strengthen your heart some too. I don't know if it will help you, but if you have not tried it before I figure it is worth a try.

I've been diagnosed as bipolar and I also suffer from anxiety. I lost my job due to it and stopped going to college because all of the anxiety it caused just ended up making my grades suffer. There's no point in going anymore if I'm just going to keep failing. People try to help me, but there's no one around that actually understands. They tell me to talk to this person, or that person when I'm having enough trouble just talking to them to begin with, I can't just go to a stranger and start talking to them.
It's gotten to the point where I just stay in my room and procrastinate going out to get a job because the only jobs available for me are retail and working with people will just make things worse.
I have no health insurance, so I can't see anyone about this. I'm trapped in my own emotional shell and there's no way out. People call me lazy, when in reality it's the fear that's holding me back. I have lost a good chunk of friends because of this.

This is a great post, I thank you for writing it. Mental health issues are REAL, people tend to not talk about it because of it's long history of "madness" and that you can control your emotions etc.

Everyone has different brain chemistry and sometimes we're not wired correctly. I've dealt with major anxiety, paranoia, some ocd, ADD and depression...

The first thin is to consult with a professional psychiatrist (they can asses your issues and put you on the proper meds) If the meds don't help go back and try another type. It's normal for one person to switch and find the RIGHT combo for them.

Then seek out a therapist- you will learn exercises (not workingout) but change the way your thoughts are processed so you can avoid panic attacks etc.

Don't let these illness go untreated or you may become worse or even suicidal. If you had cancer you'd go to the hospital for treatment, right. Then finding the right doctor and therapist is imperative to live a normal and healthy life.

I know from personal experience...
Same thing.

This is a good article... I have this same type of problem, a doctor told me once that I have something called GAD, generalized anxiety disorder, basically I worry constantly. I suffered for years and medication never helped. In the last 6 months or so I found a good solution.
Meditation. If you've never tried it, I strongly recommend it. Guided meditation is also very helpful. It helps you find that sense of peace that seems so fleeting... And even after you're done just thinking about it later helps to calm you. Try reading the Tao.
Exercise also helps. It gives you something to work toward and if you worry about it you're just refining your way of being healthy. Plus when you're leaving the gym that high is hard to duplicate.

I'm not sure if I haveanxiety or not, I have just gone to the doctors and they have reffered me to a psychiatrist or counselling, they said to try counselling first andit may be easier for me. I go through stages where I have panice attacks if I can't do something, for instance I was at my local mall and was trying to print off a picture using bluetooth, it was a new phone and it confused me and I started to have a painc attack. I haven't had a panic attack in a month, but when I get nervous or scaredabout something I have twitches not always full body ones all the time, mostly just my arm. I get scared about going to places I haven't been before, I have just started college and I was crying alot and my twitches were happening very often throughout the day. Can it affect your look on yourself? Because I have been feeling very low lately and have lost all my confidence all most. Can it affect your eating as well cause over the past week or so I have not been able to eat I can't seem to eat more then a sandwhich and if I eat my dinner then I will end up throwing up, I am not forcing myself to do any of this I do not want to loose weight, but I wondered if cause of anxiety subconsciously I am? My twitches have slo got worse over the past week, and coincidentally this was my first week of college? However I am not scared of meeting new people or having a laugh with me friends, unless it is in a new place, I have never been shy before I am usually loud and bubbly, but I am finding it harder each day. sorry for the long winded comment, any nswers would help and I would be greatful!

problems like these seem to crop up when you're thrown into a new situation like that. Don't worry I used to think I was alone in it as well... Panic attacks are a definite sign of an anxiety issue... Talk to your friends about it, tell a close family member the more you talk about it the better you will feel. It is a sort of automatic thing, hard to control, but if you can get all your feelings out either verbally or writing then it will help you overcome it... Also, maybe you should consider professional assistance. Anxiety like this could really set you back if you don't take charge as soon as possible.

i have anxiety and have had a series of panic attacks. it helps to know that i'm not alone, that other people go through the same thing...

some things i've tried are writing, reading (although its hard because you have to concentrate pretty hard), excercise..... but what helps me the most is blasting music through my ears. music is my life and i can actually loose myself in the rhythm and notes.

also if you're in school when you start feeling anxious, i can find solace in my favorite teacher, my art teacher. she pretty much knows everything about my disorders and has witnessed and helped me calm down from a panic attack.

and guidance counselors. depending on your school or college, you may have good counselors or bad ones. i'm really close with mine because i took three months off of my junior year and she helped get me back in the swing of things. if i didn't feel comfortable going to class i would sit in her office and listen to my music and read. she really helps me a lot. and she hasn't stopped helping even though i'm better. she still makes me check in with her every week :) its really nice to know someone cares!!!

and don't be afraid to seek help!!! people are trained to help!!! that's their job!!! and don't be embrassed about it!!!

I've suffered from anxiety for years and it's really a cruel thing. Just walking down the hallways in my high school at the end of the day made me feel so incredibly anxious and I could feel myself wanting to panic.
Anxiety is probably one of the worst emotions the human body can compose.
Knowing that there are tons of other people out there who have experienced it also helped me a lot.
I've been taking amitryptaline and sertraline for the past year and they're working wonders.

I learned that i suffer anxiety and depression a couple of years ago. I learned it the scary way.. Not knowing i suffer them, I landed up in the hospital for suicide prevention. My anxiety and not knowing how to deal with stress caused it. I used cry with out knowing, feel very fearful and worthless out of the blue. I haven't been on medication in over a year, because I got tired of being on it. so i refused to renew my health insurance, and i thought i could handle it on my own. But it turned out i can't my family, friends and my boyfriend sees it . So I recently renew my health insurance so i could get back on medication. But I have found that coloring helps me release my anxiety also writing .Reading all of your responses has comfort me a lot . Because at times I feel like when i'm out in public people are always watching me and that they know and judging me..

I am 23 now and have been on citolopram for a little over a year. I went years not knowing why I couldn't handle any kind of stress. I've wasted a lot of money on college and have to retake a couple of classes. I also used to call out of work a lot, I just couldn't handle being around other people. The reason why I was put on the meds was because I had a big mental breakdown at school, luckily my b/f who is now my fiance was there. It helps so much knowing that he is there for me no matter what....

I do feel better though knowing I'm not the only one out there with big anxiety issues...

I'm on Escitalopram (a stronger version of citalopram) but I don't seem to find my anxiety getting any better. I'm glad you've had such a success though.

thanks so much for posting this. i went through about 6 years of anxiety issues completely undiagnosed. i would have anxiety attacks at least once or twice a day at the same time usually. they used to wear me out so much that i would just go straight to sleep right after having one because of how exhausting they can be. my sister is going through the same thing now and thank god i went through what i did because i can now help her out. my panic attacks have stopped for the most part but oftentimes i worry myself sick when things start piling up. it's nice when you have someone to talk to.