Is this really true?? I mean is it possible to find out whether he is committed or not by his words??? Some day he speaks as if he has high feelings he talks about marriage n spending my life and some day he talks about being practical(he is not certain about future) . 1 day he says he wants to marry right at the moment and the other day he says we should not think about this all and should concerntrate on future what does this all mean??? He loves me or not? plz answer to my question...

But I can't also fully say that he doent love me....he has even told about me to his family members(except dad and mom coz he is really afraid to tell now we r not so matured)....n he had never done that before this about his ex relationships....he asks me to stay with him forever by leaving my home which i cant do coz i am studying right now....and sometimes he tells we shouldnt be very close....we havent been in physical relation till now and he wants my decision for this he doesnt want to force me he understands me but sometimes i really doubt on him....he hasnt yet broke his relation with his ex but he is just avoidin her...what does that mean when i ask him to brk that relation he asks me to understand a girl feeling and I also cant be angry with him for long time coz I love him a lot this is te 1st time i have felt so comfortable wid a boy...my ex relations were so poor....i am in a mess i dont know what to do n what not to.....sometimes i feel to leave him n the other moment i realise i cant..its been 6 mths we know each other but still we dont know each other in an exact manner.....what shuld i do???

At first thanks to u guys..Lauren and Ivana...i am much relief wid ur comments....yeah i thin he too is in confusion I mean its just now that he started trusting me he feels I would leave him....we met first on chat and unlike others he didnt flirt with me he simply suggested me good habits and tried to correct my way of living we became frens and he proposed me....I accepted his proposal about a month later...then only we saw each other and I liked him even more...later when we became more close he told me the fact that at first whatever he showed me of caring and others was all false....I was so shocked then he started having doubts on me he fears I may have multi relationships which I don't have....but he is still in touch with his ex girlfren....yes I do agree that he never hides with me that he talked with his galfren but he never agrees to tell her directly n brk with her....sometimes he becomes restless if he doesnt get a chance to talk wid me...and sometimes he calls after 6 days and still says he could have waited for more than that...I actually don't understand him...he is now very frank with me and asks me to marry him now but I cant do that now I am jus 17...and he is 19...we have discussions a lot...and he is quite stubborn type...do u think he loves me...yeah he is possessive he is caring sometimes he even talks romantic but since at first he had betrayed me I don't feel like I should trust him....and he asks me to trust him what should I do??

I think this is great advice!! So many women I've seen in the past do LEAD the relationship - and I think that the guy thinks that he's not in control - therefore gets scared - therefore breaks it off or whatever. When he is able to lead then he will do what he wants. And I have found through personal experience that if you follow your man on his timing - things work out so much better than had you been the one to lead.

I've been the leader in a lot of my relationships and they have down the drain everytime. The man I'm with now however, is a different story. When I met him we became friends, we each had a bf/gf at the time. I broke up with my bf and really didn't have any heartache because he had become a real ass. About a month later my friend called me and said that his gf left him for her baby's daddy. He was kinda upset for a few days. Then...oh i don't know...I would say less than 2 months later it kinda just became understood that we were together.

We've been together now for almost 2 years and marriage has been mentioned before. I told him that it had always been a life long dream of mine and that none of my past boyfriends really held my interest as a life long partner. I told him that he was though. And left it at that.

Now, This January he will be going to Quatar. When he gets back we are getting married - his decision! Mine would've been to get married before...but he has an idea of how he wants things to go and in the past when I let him do things his way - I end up being so surprised and nearly cry at how sweet he can be. So I'm totally fine with waiting on him for whatever - because I know the reward will be so much sweeter and memorable than had we done things on my time! =)

So I totally agree with this post 100%. I have a feeling most people will call this old fashioned - but....if ya think about it - in the old days peopl got married...and STAYED that way. I know my man loves me and he knows I love him. We both plan on being together for the rest of our lives. And it's a wonderful feeling! I can't even really explain it! So I encourage all women, let the man lead, express your heart's desires - if he doesn't care about any of the things you talk about - then he's not the man you need to be with. If you tell your man your heart's desires and he cares and says I want that too, just not now. then that's okay! develope a strong foundation in you relationship that way when he is now ready to "settle down" then things will be beyond perfect! =)

How can I make him love him just me and brk with that ex galfren....I love him too much he is the most easy going person i felt i can find...when I asked me to brk wid his ex he asked me some time he even dont miss her...or may be he misses....he says he has no feeling but on the other hand informs her abt his activities if she asks to....he hasnt meet her since around 4 mths....and most of the time she calls him....but i dont know exactly its what he told me....may be he is lying to me or may be not...when he had flirt wid me he had told all to his then galfren...but now he tells he is more honest to me...his ex wasnt so good by character and she even didnt care him as i do.....he says he started loving me coz i loved him so much....and thats the fact its that I cant even imagine to be far from him...isnt there any way to make him think only of me and forget that gal....and just run behind me....

I have been with the same guy for almost 5 years now. We are both 37. He has 2 children 12 and 6 from previous relationships. We previously lived together in a small apt. on my parents property to save money/economy issuies, etc. We were going to pay off bills and move out in 6 months. He decided to move out because it was too hard for him to have his kids over where we lived. I understood, but was a little hurt because I was not moving with him. He told me he wants me to move out with him in a couple of months. Now its been almost 3 months since he moved out and I only see him 3 times or so a week. Hard to get used to, since we lived togther for alomst a year prior to this. The main probloem is his ex, they have not been together for 5 years and sheis still hung up on him. She has such a hold on him, and I see how scared she gets him, with threats of not seeing his child. He has made it clear he will not take her to court regarding custody issues. He told me last weekend he is very very close to having me move in, but its really frustrating to have no control over this at all. What do I do? Wait patiently and see whats happens? How long do I wait?

You should have never started dating a guy who had a girlfriend.. She isn't an ex if he hasn't broken it off with her. If he wants you to understand a girls feelings maybe you should realize you are a girl as well.. If he says he can't leave her and is just avoiding her, Chances are he isn't avoiding her and he isn't going to leave her for you.. You allowed yourself to become a mistress.. I'm sorry if this comes out harsh honey but you need to find someone who is willing to be with you and only you, someone who will give you all of his self. There are good men out there you just have to sift through them.. Just the same with women (in no way am I being sexist) Do yourself a favor and take time to learn more about yourself and what you want before you jump in to something serious.. and ask yourself Do you really love him?? or are you just thinking you love him.. this situation is pretty harmful to yourself, be fair to yourself and leave before you hurt even more.

To the girl with the guy and his 2 kids.. have you told him how you feel about this right now at this moment? .. tell him what you want and be honest and tell him you are ready to move in with him and that you will be on his side no matter what.. This is a hard situation though.. but don't give up on him.. he is doing what is best for his children.. he should talk to a lawyer and ask what he can do so that he isn't so afraid of the threats.. and he should be prepared so that if anything does happen and she says he can't see the kids he is ready to show proof he is a good father. Be their for him.. you shouldn't give up. Stay strong and always communicate! I hope this helps! if you need to talk you can message me.

Anyone have any advice on my dilema? The living with my bf of 5 years question? Thank you!

Thank you Jamie! I try my hardest to be there for him and he knows he can talk to me, the problem is that he chooses to do all this by himself. When its the weekend for him and either of the kids, I don't usually see him. His daughter and I are very close, but I rarely see his son, its his sons mom that is the problem. I have told him recently over this past weekend of my feelings and he says he understands, but he has to work out some things before I move in, The things he has to work out is the ex having a heart attack when I move in and I am around her son! She needs to move on! I stay in the background and get "forgottn" a lot, he says Ill call you when I get home and then he doesnt, I know its because hes busy with the kids and get tired, but sometimes it really hurts my feelings, that he does not think about it at all. I guess its just me biching about it. I just dont want to be taken advantage of and "Wait" a long time for him to get on with our life. It's so hard because he is truly my best friend. We have tried the break up things, to give his space to do this stuff, but it does not work, we ended up back together, because he actually made the 1st move to not be apart! UGH!!!

I know it does get really frustrating and I know it really hurts when we feel forgotten.. it kills actually.. have you made it clear to him that this does hurt? maybe you guys can come to a solution.. like him call you right before he goes to bed or right after the kids are in bed.. men don't usually think about that.. i dont know why they just don't and they don't realize they are doing anything wrong until we tell him.. they aren't like us hehe we have to constantly let them know what's going on... i dont think it's unfair to ask for a phone call even if it's a 60 second phone call it's better than nothing.. we need to feel important otherwise our minds go a little crazy! Is there anyway possible maybe trying to talk to the son's mother or sending her something to show her you are not trying to replace her at all, and that you just want to be another supporter of her son.. sometimes that works.. he might not let you though cause he is pretty scared of her.. that's so sad.. I feel for you guys.. I'm sorry this is happening to you and him.

No way could I send her anything! She is completely pyscho! haha I guess I will just wait and be patient again! I feel so sorry for him, but at the same time I get so tired of the bullshit! He's working on the phone calls, I know he trys and that men are just completely different, weird creatures! haha Time will tell I guess! Thanks for the advice, its appreciated, its nice to get words of encouragement from someone that does not know you or him and the situation. Thank s again!

No prob! anytime! :)

been in a ten year off and on relationship, to realize theres no future, trap in my love for this man. As this year start, I have moved on with our children to start all over. I have learned being engage is step one, having a date is step two, but if he don't know where he is heading in life we back to ground zero. Until he can be happy with who he is, and what he become, than the relationship can flow right, his mind set will be more serious and focus on things. As I start my life over I now see the signs as I reflect back, Also go with you gut and not let your feeling for a guy trap you in a relationship thats going no where.

I have this problem, I've been sorta dating this guy for 4 weeks now, it started just as friends because he needed a friend right now. When we started getting close he told me he loves me (we've known each other a LONG time), he always wants me around, says that he cares and we just had sex for the first time. But he is really emotionally distant, doesn't hug or kiss more than a couple of times a day, he likes to cuddle when watching stuff on TV and in bed but thats it really. He compliments me but he mentions his ex's in certain situations. He's going through a hard time atm (a possible cancer diagnosis) plus he's not at work cause his boss is injured, so it makes it tough to talk about cause tbh it isn't the most important issue at the moment. But I just can't shake this hurt confused feelings and its starting to affect the way I see and talk to him and help him through his problems right now.