Rape is a dirty four-letter word; it is something that happens to other people, but could never possibly happen to you. We read about it in the newspaper, see reports of it on the TV and then we dismiss it, forget about it. Yes, at the time of reading it or seeing it we may think “ how awful" or "poor thing" but because it isn’t happening to us it is easier to dismiss it as another tragic event than to accept the harsh realities of society. A recent National Institute of Justice study estimated that 1 in 4 women are the victims of completed or attempted rape while in college and nearly 90% of the victims knew their rapist.  Look around you, with all of the females on this site, in your community and your classes, you do the math, no one is invincible. We can no longer passively ignore the problem and allow the women we love and admire to be victimized. A new form of rape has emerged, known as “party rape” that directly targets college students. There is a profound lack of awareness of party rape and what constitutes consent, as well as its severe emotional, physical and social consequences. We must all take responsibility for educating and protecting our loved ones and ourselves.

Party rape is a distinct form of rape defined by the U.S. Department of Justice as one that “occurs at an off-campus house or bar and involves plying women with alcohol or targeting an intoxicated woman.” Party rape is typically considered a form of acquaintance rape, in which the victim knows and trusts the assailant prior to the encounter, such as a teacher, friend, employer or ex-boyfriend.  This form of rape is accomplished without the use of guns, knives, or fists, and is carried out through the combination of coercion, excessive liquor and manipulation of situations so that women get themselves into compromising situations. The combination of alcohol, sexual expectations, and the collegiate culture ultimately lead intoxicated and uninhibited girls to participate in unwanted sexual encounters that technically lack mutual consent. The reality is that for many college students, I am describing your typical Friday night.

Party rape differs from traditional rape, which is more frequently committed in unfamiliar places, by people considered to be psychopaths or monsters, opposed to party rapists generally considered to be very nice kids and commonly indistinguishable from our close friends. Due to the pressures of the college social climate only 5% of party rapes are reported, drastically lower than the 31% national average, as victims fear the social suicide of damaging their reputation or worse, their boyfriends.

One of the most complex issues regarding sexual coercion and party rape are the misconceptions of what constitutes consent. For consent to be valid both parties must express it willingly and be fully conscious. The fact that someone doesn’t physically fight back or say “no” doesn’t mean what happened was consensual. A major problem regarding consent is that men and women often perceive the same situation, including the presence or absence of consent, quite differently. Women report being victims of sexual coercion far more often than men admit to being coercive. Men are more likely than women to perceive a wide variety of verbal and nonverbal cues as interest and intent, and because women most frequently communicate discomfort nonverbally, these differences can be a huge contributing factor.

American gender role norms about dating and sexual behavior encourage men to be forceful and dominant and to think that “no” means “convince me.” Norms of female politeness and indirectness regarding sexual communication are so well internalized that some women find it difficult to confront a man directly, especially if they hope to continue the relationship. However, if the young woman isn’t direct and forceful about her lack of interest in sex, her companion is likely to perceive her behavior as flirtation or coyness.

The emotional and psychological effects of being raped are intense and long term. The aftermath of party rape can be potentially life altering for the male and female, two people yet to embark on careers or start a family. The possible physical bruises, bleeding, STDS and lacerations may fade, but the emotional scars may never fade. Victims who are aware that they have been “party raped” may experience rage, shame, humiliation and fear. If they decide to report the attack, they have to deal with the nightmare of reliving the incident and the publicity that may follow. However, when it comes to party rape the social consequences are what hurt victims most. They fear being called a liar by their friends, being stared at on campus and being banned from social gatherings because they accused a popular, well-liked male of rape, unfortunately good people do bad things and bad things happen to good people. College students are all a work in progress and it is vital that they receive the information that parents and teachers are often uncomfortable talking about.

Now that you have a greater understanding of the severity of party rape and its prevalence, what constitutes consent and what causes these unfortunate situations to transpire, lets talk about ways to prevent it from happening to you, your friends and your siblings. First, get the word out. If you are involved in organizations on campus, on sports teams or in social networks pass on what you learned to increase awareness of party rape. When you go out, be mindful of not only the amount of alcohol you consume, but also the amount your friends are consuming. The more you drink, the less control you have and the more likely you are to find yourself in a vulnerable position. There is safety in numbers, never leave someone you came with behind if they have had a lot to drink, this can only lead to a situation he or she may regret the next day, regardless of whether or not it was consensual. Other ways to help are by volunteering at your local women’s center for victims of sexual violence to promote educational programs at your school.

Party Rape isn’t something that happens to other people, its not just what you read in the school newspaper or see on TV, it’s the unspoken incident that happened to your friend last weekend or the night you don’t remember over spring break. Protect yourselves and your loved ones, as you never know who will be the next 1 in 4.