I, like so many other people, was shocked, confused and saddened when I heard the news that music superstar Rihanna had been severly beaten up by her then boyfriend Chris Brown. The seemingly fairytale relationship that we all had heard and read about was obviously very far from that. However, it brought to light a very important reality which is domestic violence can happen to anyone and sadly, it does to millions of women around the world.

For the first time, Rihanna is speaking out about what happened last February and what her life has been like since it happened in a candid interview with Diane Sawyer which will air on "20/20" tonight (10:00-11:00 pm, ET) on ABC. A portion of her interview aired yesterday on "Good Morning America" (which you can see here) and another clip will air this morning as well. Domestic violence is never okay and I commend Rihanna for speaking out about it...

What is Domestic Violence?

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.

Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:

• Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
• Does not trust you and act jealous or possessive.
• Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
• Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
• Does not want you to work.
• Controls finances or refuses to share money.
• Punishes you by withholding affection.
• Expects you to ask permission.
• Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
• Humiliates you in any way.
  

You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:

• Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).

• Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.

• Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.

• Scared you by driving recklessly.

• Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.

• Forced you to leave your home.

• Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.

• Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.

• Hurt your children.

• Used physical force in sexual situations.

You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:

• Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.

• Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.

• Wants you to dress in a sexual way.

• Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.

• Has ever forced or manipulated you into to having sex or performing sexual acts.

• Held you down during sex.

• Demanded sex when you were sick, tired or after beating you.

• Hurt you with weapons or objects during sex.

• Involved other people in sexual activities with you.

• Ignored your feelings regarding sex.

If you answered ‘yes’ to these questions you may be in an abusive relationship; please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) or your local domestic violence center to talk with someone about it.

Here are some other resources to get advice, help, and information about domestic violence and please feel free to add others in the comments section:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

NDVH is a nonprofit organization that provides crisis intervention, information and referral to victims of domestic violence, perpetrators, friends and families.

Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)

The Mission of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) is to organize for collective power by advancing transformative work, thinking and leadership of communities and individuals working to end the violence in our lives.

The National Resource Center on Domestic Violence

It is the NRCDV’s mission to improve societal and community responses to domestic violence and, ultimately, prevent its occurrence. We provide a wide range of free, comprehensive, and individualized technical assistance, training, and specialized resource materials and projects designed to enhance current intervention and prevention strategies.

WomenHealth.gov - A list of organizations by state for victims of Domestic Violence