I am the asme exact way! i mean when im with a guy i really like, i start liking other guys...like u said justincase this realationship doesnt turn out. I understand. and i need help 2. i always thought i was the only one with these insecurities....

well i hv the same problem at the moment :/ nt that i fancy other guys... but one small lil change in my man wud make me more friendly wid other men just incase :/

I'm the same way i went through hell with my ex. anything bad you could imagine happening in a relationship is what happened between us and i wasted 4 terrible years with him. now ive got the epitomy of perfection for a boyfriend and i'm scared to death sometimes. but i'm slowly learning to accept that i need to let the past go and not relate the old relationship with the new one b/c they're nothing alike. just focus on the here and now and let go of the done and gone. if you keep living like that you're going to ruin the new relationship. just see what happens b/c you'll never know until you try. and if something goes wrong just keep in mind that you've made it through rough patches before and you can do it again. you need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.

I had that problem too. You have to remind yourself that each guy is different and the past is the past. You need to deal with what happened in the past before you can truly move on. Then it is just a matter of making up your mind to be confident. Every morning when I wake up I tell myself that I will hold my head up high and not let anything get me down. Keep reminding yourself that you can do it.

I was the same exact way through several relationships, keeping my options open, continuing to flirt and all that jazz because I was scared of being left with nothing. By the time my first serious relationship came around I knew the man I had was perfect and not like any other person I could ever find but I continued to act like I had before and kept him at a distance the entire time we were dating. Eventually after a year and a half it destroyed our relationship so badly he broke up with me and ended up leaving me with nothing--the very thing I was trying to avoid happening again. After the whole experience I kept myself single to sort through all my issues and come to terms with the fact that dating is taking a piece of yourself, learning to Love all that is in it and giving it to someone else against all odds. My advice for you is to keep trying your hardest to trust and forget the past. I know it's hard but it's the only way to keep your past from reoccurring. If this man treats you well then there's a super huge chance that you won't have to go through the same situation again. Good luck =).

Of course it would be hard to get over the other relationship, but not all guys are like that, try to find every possible way your new guy is different to your last, and then find every way that he is amazing, and you'll feel much better about your new relationship =D

I've had the same problem before. I've had some seriously nightmare relationships, and UGH; When the good guy finds out/you tell him about your behavior (out of guilt) it's the worst thing ever, because you know he doesn't understand and is really upset. I'm just lucky that mine is as understanding as he can be and loves me, so it got worked it out.
Once you start to restore your faith in relationships, those tendencies will fade out a lot. You just have to try to remember that this guy is not going to do what the others did. And I won't lie, it will take a long, long time to fade out those insecure, shaky feelings. But once you start to sort it all out, you'll feel so much better.
It's also really important you remember to make sure the guy is on the same page as you about where the relationship is going; an easy mistake to make is taking it seriously when the guys not.

I just want to say something, and I'm sorry to the original poster because I'm not giving any advice; I just want to say that the reason the original poster posted her topic is because she wants advice, she doesn't want five or six or more people saying. "Hey I'm in the same boat." Yes, sometimes we do feel like we are alone in the ways that we feel, but when we post here we want answers.
I hope I don't come off rude, but I've noticed that not much advice gets posted on topics, and it needs to change.

I am the same way to, but what you have to think is..........if you lost him to another girl becuase of you being insecure and going of with someone else he could make another girl REALLY happy and then you'll regret ever letting him go, thats reason enough to change and stay with himxx

No people are common by all ways...so just check him out whether he is the same kind or not...then decide by ur heart whether u love him or not...if u do...just take a risk to believe on him but don't trust on him completely...when time comes u will trust him urself..forget ur pasts those jerks dont miss them at all...coz the more u remember them u will be hurted...concerntrate on the present guy n keep rocking..good luck:)

I completely understand how you feel. The best advice I can give you is to talk to him about your insecurities, and do your best to move past them. Communication is key in a successful relationship, so keep that in mind.

Girl...its hard to go through that. That lack of self esteem is going to be the burden you're going to carry in your life if you don't learn to trust that you are beautiful and perfect just being you. Men can be jerks...BUT REAL MEN will treat you with the respect you deserve.

You're with this guy and already you got back up plans in case he dumps you or a feud arises. You need to be honest with your boyfriend about how you feel.

I suggest a break, not only with your boyfriend but with future relationships too. You are need feeling comfortable in this situation and you are not going to mature from it until you learn you can trust yourself and him.
I really think you two should be friends longer and establish a stronger bond.

Its hard to get over the past...but think of it this way..
THE FUTURE IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT
if only
YOU ARE WILLING to make that change.