Sometimes I think guys get a bad rap when it comes to cheating.  I mean, it's not like they're the only ones who do it.  Maybe it's that us ladies are a bit more stealth about it.  Maybe it's that a woman cheating is less expected.  Maybe it's that it often takes a lot more to get us to the place where we are tempted to cheat.  But whatever the reasons that women don't get painted with the "cheating brush," it doesn't change the fact that even "good girls" cheat.

If you've got the slightest bit of integrity, chances are you don't really want to stray.  And you certainly don't want to deal with cheating's aftermath - the guilt, shame, and cover-up.  So let's see if we can figure out WHY we cheat and therefore stop it before it even starts.

We cheat when we've been cheated on.  Ever had this happen?  I have.  And instead of breaking up with our cheating boyfriends, we play tit-for-tat and attempt to even the score.  This NEVER works.  If your significant other broke his commitment, the last thing you want to do is go there as well.  It's much better to break up than let your relationship devolve into a series of infidelities and paybacks.  Not only are you destined for disaster, you'll feel like crap each and every time. 

We cheat when we don't feel valued.  I think this is the #1 reason why women cheat.  If our guys aren't telling or showing us that we're special with some sort of consistency, it won't be long before another guy does.  And will his words ever seem wonderful!  Here is the important thing to remember:  Your worth isn't dependent on what someone else thinks or how they treat you.  And you shouldn't feel better about yourself just because someone pays attention to you.  If your boyfriend doesn't appreciate you or treat you well, you will feel much better about yourself if you end things BEFORE you betray him with a guy who does.

We cheat to see if the grass is greener.  A lot of women have experienced what I like to call "exit cheating."  Your relationship is on the skids but you're afraid to be alone, so you hang onto him until you meet another guy.  And if they happen to overlap while you're testing the waters with the new one?  Well...so be it.  I know how scary it can be to let go.  If we break up we wonder if we'll be alone forever.  We worry we won't meet anyone better.  And what if the new guy turns out to be even worse?  I get it.  But having an emotional threesome is never the answer.

We cheat when we're bored.  If both parties aren't careful, relationships can indeed get into a rut.  The spark fades, the sex dwindles, and the romance disappears.  Day-to-day life takes over and we crave the excitement of that new first kiss.  Just like men, women can get caught up in this.  So be careful.  In addition to keeping in mind all the reasons you fell in love in the first place, you also have to maintain a certain level of passion and inspire him to always be courting you.  How, you ask?  My maintaining your independence even after 30 years of marriage.  By not getting to the point where your dressiest outfit is a pair of flannel pajamas.  By making sure he sees you not only as a friend, but as a lover as well.  Yes, initial levels of attraction even out.  But if it's important to both of you, they don't have to disappear entirely.  And no matter how fun someone new might seem, he isn't worth breaking the bond you currently have.

There are quite a few guys who cheat simply because they can.  It's a crime of opportunity instead of one that's premeditated.  I think most women are different.  The vast majority of those of us who've cheated have done so because we are deeply dissatisfied with our relationship.  We look to an outside person to make us feel happier and more desirable.  Listen, if your relationship sucks, I'll be the first to tell you to get out of it.  But do it for yourself, and without having to have a soft landing into the arms of someone else.

Part 3 of Cheating Series... And if you want to read more amazing articles like this one -- become a fan of Jenn Clark at www.facebook.com/jennx30somethingandsingle.