10 Breakup Regrets

Yeah ok, there are probably waaaay more than ten things you’ll regret after a breakup, but I had to stop somewhere right? A split is never easy, and when the breakup turns bad, it just ups the emotional (and irrational) ante. When a relationship ends, the regrets start adding up, am I right? I mean, why did you buy him an iPhone? Are those pics you sent him now saved in his Camera Roll? Oh jeez...

1. Expensive Gifts

At the time, it totally made sense to buy your ex those Ray Bans for his birthday and a new iPhone at Christmas, not to mention all those times you cooked him “special” dinners…meaning you splurged on filets and roasts and racks of lamb. Now? Not so much. It’s all money down the drain and your credit card statement is just another reminder of the crap you gave your guy that he clearly didn’t deserve.

2. Your Song
I've been there. You find a song that so perfectly describes your love and you listen to it on repeat. What's worse is, you end up going to the concert together and finding new music and it just spirals from there. Now, you can't even hear a note of Jason Mraz without thinking of your ex. It's totally ruined! And even your angsty-breakup music isn't safe. I can't listen to "Since You've Been Gone" to this day because Kelly was my go-to girl during a rough time.

3. Sexting
Remember that time you had a few too many cocktails during girls night and started feeling a little frisky? At the time it was fun sending those flirty messages to your beau, but now that you’ve split you’re left wondering if those sexts were deleted or forwarded. More regretful will be if you sent any naughty pics that show your face. Never forget Reese Witherspoon’s advice from her (tipsy) MTV acceptance speech a few years ago, “And, like, if you [take] naked pictures of yourself on your cell phone, you hide your face, people!”

4. Crap You Left at Their Place.

Be smart, ladies, and only leave duplicate or easily replaced items at your beau’s house. If you must, be aware that you might not get it back, especially after a messy breakup. Things could be thrown away or ruined out of anger before you get a chance to retrieve them. Or maybe it’s just too awkward to ever go to your ex’s after the breakup. I’ve been there. I made the rookie mistake of letting my boyfriend borrow my Nintendo GameCube days before we broke up and then…he pawned it. I haven’t replaced it because, honestly, I have too many daily distractions to deal with without adding Sonic the Hedgehog to the mix, but I’ll always remember the lesson I learned.

5. Past Freak-Outs
Any drama queens out there? You know what I mean. Meltdowns are highly embarrassing, but when you’re with someone long enough, they are bound to happen. Sometimes our teeny-tiny overreactions result in those embarrassing nights that you’ll forever be ashamed of. You know, that evening you called him 30 times in a two-minute span? Or that glorious moment when he caught you searching through his phone/underwear drawer/browser history? Hopefully your ex doesn’t have any proof (e.g. an angry voicemail) of these meltdowns, but the fact that you know it happened, well, that’s punishment enough.

6. Taking them to Places you Thoroughly Enjoy
This goes along with #2. Remember your favorite hole-in-the-wall burger joint you brought your former flame too? Good luck trying to eat there again without crying into your french fries. Not only will you be unable to enjoy the places you used to love, even before you started dating, you’ll actively avoid them to prevent running into your ex in the future. Remember that old episode of How I Met Your Mother when Ted pulls out the color-blocked map of NYC to demonstrate all the places he can’t go for fear of running into Stella? So, make sure you keep a few of your favorite places for yourself. You will, after all, need somewhere to hide out after the split.

7. The Future Regrets You Create Immediately After the Breakup
Most of us are out of sorts right after a breakup, and partake in some embarrassing behavior, including:

• Wearing your dirty, stinky pajamas out in public. Right now you don’t care what anyone thinks of your appearance, but please shower and put on fresh clothes before leaving the house.
• The overly dramatic texts (and FB statuses) you send friends and family at 2 in the morning. We’re talking sappy movie quotes or your thoughts that you’ll always be alone. If you were alone you wouldn’t have friends to send depressing texts to, but keep in mind, no one wants to stay friends with Debbie Downer for long.
• Bad music choices revealed to everyone on Facebook through your Spotify account. Is it even possible to listen to Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know” 50 times without your computer killing itself?
• The bad makeover. You know what I mean. Some of us get bangs, some of us buy furniture. It's usually not a good look. 

8. The Hotties You Passed Up

It’s Newton’s Law that when you’re taken everyone wants you, but if you’re single you can’t find anyone interested. Post break-up you’ll think one of the hotties who hit on you while you were taken must’ve been Mr. Right, but he probably wasn’t. If any of these potential hookups are still in your social circle when you’re single, don’t go chasing after them. You’ll seem a little too desperate right after a breakup, and, more than likely, will regret it in the morning.

9. Their Knowledge of your Deep, Dark Secrets

Oh, this is the worst! If you’ve been in a relationship long enough, your partner is going to discover some of the skeletons hiding in your closet. It’s already hard enough to let someone in, and it feels even worse when the relationship goes south. Don’t fret. If they decide to start publicizing your incapacitating fear of clowns, just remember you’ve got some dirt on him, too.

10. The Day You Met That Person.

Harsh, but true. Shortly after a relationship ends you’re going to regret ever meeting that person. Was the effort, the pain, all the time spent for that person worth it if you don’t end up together forever? You’ll think of all the different opportunities you could’ve had had you never spent those months or years with that person. Hopefully, over time, you won’t regret the day you met them, or the time you spent together, and at the least will understand that it serves as a learning experience.

What have been some of your regrets? Add to our list! 

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