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10 Signs You’ve Found Mr. Right

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Posted by Jenn Clark on December 13, 2012 at 8:39 PM

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the old adage, “When you know, you know,” was actually true? Yet, how many times have we thought we’d met our soul mate, only to eventually discover he was more of a toad than a prince? When it comes to finding “the one,” having a little bit of objectivity is often better than becoming swept away by intense feelings. If you think you might have met your Mr. Right, take a moment to see how he (and your relationship) checks out. Here are ten signs that you’ve found a man deserving of a long-term commitment. 

You think he’s hot. Sure, you want to be friends with your guy, but you can’t see him as just a friend.  There’s got to be chemistry and a physical connection for your relationship to survive. If you aren’t attracted to him - if you don’t feel “the spark” - he’s most definitely not your soul mate.  

You feel like the luckiest girl in the world.You should absolutely believe that you’ve found the greatest guy to ever walk the face of the earth. While chances are he’s far from perfect, you should absolutely believe that he’s perfect for you. Even his negative traits are things you can handle and you wake up every morning grateful that he’s in your life. 

Your friends and family like him. There’s usually a reason why those who know us best can’t stand a particular guy...  Because he’s no good for us! While we can’t base our romantic choices solely on the advice of others, it’s never a bad thing to have the support of your loved ones. They have the objectivity to analyze if he’s a decent guy, as well as the insight into your personality to know if he’s a match for you. So if your parents and best girl friends think he’s one of the good ones, it’s confirmation that he actually is.

He brings joy into your life.Guys who make us miserable, cause us to be filled with confusion, or who elicit more tears than smiles will never be our soul mates. The guy for you is the one who makes you happy. You trust him, you have fun with him, and no matter what life throws your way, he’s willing to stand solidly by your side.

Respect is a two-way street. A man who is a keeper knows how to respect a woman and, likewise, you respect him, too. Without mutual respect, your relationship cannot survive. Women respect men who are honest, honorable, and strong. Your Mr. Right should absolutely possess those traits.  

You want the same things out of life. Similar goals, shared interests, and a common outlook are also critical for long-term relationship happiness. If you’re looking to settle down soon and your guy still wants to party with the guys every weekend, you’re probably not a great match. If he wants kids and you’re not so sure if “Mommy and Me” classes will ever be in your future, that could be a deal breaker.  Make sure you are on the same page when it comes to the big issues. 

The relationship grows from conflict. How you and your guy handle conflict will cause one of two things to happen.  It will either tear you apart or it will make you stronger. The truth is every relationship will have conflict -- you aren’t always going to be in perfect agreement.  However, if you’re constantly fighting, allowing arguments to devolve into brutal wars, or not coming back together after a disagreement, your relationship is headed for disaster. Very few can survive shouting matches and verbal insults. When you allow conflict to help you to understand your partner better and both are able to compromise, that’s when you know your love has staying power.

You bring out the best in each other. If you’ve ever seen the movie “As Good as It Gets,” you’ll definitely remember when Jack Nicholson tells Helen Hunt, “You make me want to be a better man.”  While we shouldn’t look to movies as models for how relationships should be, that particular line is an exception. A healthy relationship causes both people to want to work on their flaws for the other. If he doesn’t want to be the best guy he can possibly be in your relationship, he’s not the one for you.

You can be yourself. At the same time, neither of you should be putting on an act. If you feel like you’re always trying to impress him or like you can’t be a goofball around him, you’ll never be truly comfortable. Similarly, your Prince Charming won’t try to change your fundamental beliefs or personality traits. If you’re with a guy who doesn’t love you for the woman you are, it’s time to find someone who does.

You don’t try to fix him.The same goes for him, too. If you continually try to change things about him that you don’t like, he’s most likely not your soul mate. If there are things about him that you can’t live with, he’s not the man of your dreams. Instead of trying to make him into a different person, see him for who he actually is. When you meet your Mr. Right, you’ll fall in love with the real him - not the man you hope he turns into someday.

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Jenn Clark is a relationship advice expert and author of the book “How to Be a Goddess (A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming the Woman Men Dream About…).” You can find it on her Facebook page or on Amazon.com.

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I like the part about having similar goals. Too often people think that love can overcome all obstacles, most likely from watching movies or reading books. The reality is that if you are dating a guy who doesn't ever want to get married and you've been planning your wedding since you were five, he's probably going to disappoint you. I'm dating a really great guy right now but it might not work out long term because I just finished my graduate degree and may not be able to get a job locally while he has been with his company for 17 years and has a pension to think about. His company may go under or maybe I'll wind up finding something here but at some point we have both acknowledged that our careers are too important to us to sacrifice. Some of my friends keep trying to come up with ways that I could make it work anyway but the reality is that sometimes things aren't meant to work out, even if they are really great. I hope it does work out but I think people who give up too much for a relationship are just asking for trouble.
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