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10 Things Happy Couples Talk About

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Posted by Girls Guide To on May 18, 2012 at 11:46 AM

What are you and your guy talking about during your heart-to-hearts? Studies show that people are happier when they spend more time discussing meaningful topics than engaging in small talk.

Granted, researchers have yet to conclude whether people are happy because they can talk deeply, or whether they talk deeply because they are happy. Either way, relationship experts started thinking about relationships and how closely we converse with our partners. In an interview with The New York Times, researcher Matthias Mehl said,

“By engaging in meaningful conversations, we manage to impose meaning on an otherwise pretty chaotic world. And interpersonally, as you find this meaning, you bond with your interactive partner, and we know that interpersonal connection and integration is a core fundamental foundation of happiness.”

I don’t know about you, love is pretty damn chaotic. One of the perks of being in a relationship is being able to discuss subjects you avoided during the early stages of dating when you’re still scared of scaring him off. Among the “serious” topics people discuss, here are 10 that we believe couples should relish during heart-to-hearts!

1. Embarrassing moments
Remember that time you tripped down the stairs in front of everyone in high school? If you can't share the awkward, cringe-worthy moments that occurred throughout high school with your boyfriend, who can you tell them to? Don't be afraid to broach the subject, if you haven't already. We wouldn't be surprised if his are just as, or more, horrifying than yours.

2. Political viewpoints
How do you feel about the upcoming election or how we can start to solve the debt crisis? You don't have to agree with each other, although it would certainly help. A good relationship allows both parties to discuss their own philosophies without taking the opposition personally. 

3. Fears and insecurities

By fears, I’m not saying your fear of flying or those big, nasty spiders. We're talking about things that make you wake up with gray hairs. What worries you? What do you want to improve in yourself? What are your past skeletons? In being vulnerable, you risk judgement, but more importantly, you chance being understood. And who knows, he might be the one to help you work through it all!

4. Childhood
Ask your partner what he or she was like as a kid. Did he make friends easily? What kind of games did he like to play? Did he have trouble in school? Childhood memories make for fun conversations, but they can also lend insight into how your guy became the person he is today.

5. Past relationships
I get it, this is a touchy one because no one wants to hear the person they're with waxing poetic about an ex. There is, of course, a difference between longing for (or being bitter over) the past and simply acknowledging what happened. With enough practice, seasoned, happy couples learn how to address why past relationships ended without inadvertently comparing their current partner to an old flame, a major no-no. 

6. Family life
Knowing a person's upbringing and relationship with his or her parents is crucial to understanding his current attitude toward family. If you're even slightly contemplating a future with this person, it might help to ask how well he gets along with his parents. Why does he resent his mother? Why is he closer to his sisters than to his brothers? How well can he handle family gatherings? 

7. Current events

Thanks to the overflow of information, it's nearly impossible to stay up-to-date on everything going on around us. Here's where teamwork comes into play: Ask your partner about his interests, be they economics or the latest news in the tech world, and see if you can't learn a thing or two. Who knows, maybe you'll help him develop an interest in music or your favorite sport. 

9. TV and movies

Compared to politics and personal fears, entertainment might seem pretty shallow, but Dr. Mehl actually classified discussions about movies in the "deep" category, given that people focused on character motivations and plots rather than on, say, the hot leading actors.

10. The future
Need I ask what's scarier than the future? While I’m not saying you should pressure your partner into talking about his plans for marriage and children, I do believe that whether he openly talks about them or you ask directly, you should know his dreams, goals, and aspirations. What is he working toward? What drives him to succeed? Where does he see himself in five years? Someone who desires growth and is not afraid of the unknown is surely dynamic enough to deserve you.

What do you and your significant other talk about? If you constantly hit the heavy stuff you're probably happier than if you spend time gossiping about your neighbors or coworkers.

{Source: Your Tango}

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Large_autumn
My boyfriend and I talk quite a bit about heavy stuff. Occasionally we engage in small talk, but more often than not we spend a lot of time talking about life and what we want for our futures. I know he's said that he likes that we talk about anything and no topic is taboo for us. We've been dating 3 years and I can honestly say that this relationship has been the best one I've ever had. In my other relationships it was small talk all the time. It took me time to realize that most of the guys I dated had nothing in common with me. I am very happy now though.
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