12 Things You Do That Turn Men Off
Posted by Courtney Kabbes on June 16, 2013 at 8:00 PM
Contrary to popular belief, men don’t just chase after anything with two legs and a nice pair of... shoes. You may, or may not, be surprised that some of the things you do will have men running for the door faster than you can say “marriage.” But, let’s face it. If men were honest with us about these turn offs, we’d be crying, bad mouthing, and eating until our bodies couldn’t take anymore. So, don’t think of this list as, “12 Things Men Dislike About You.” Think of it as, “12 Things That Will Bring You Closer to Your Man,” if you stop doing them.
1. Assuming they can read minds
Men aren't superheroes, which means they don't have the ability to read your mind. If you want your man to clean up his mess in the kitchen or pick up his dirty laundry, just tell him. Check your attitude at the door and be nice about it. Instead of one word answers and texts that say, "K," try something like, "Honey, would you mind picking your underwear up from the bathroom floor?" Wow, that was easy.
2. Overlooking thoughtful acts
He cleaned up his underwear from the bathroom floor and now you're all, "You never do nice things for me anymore." Paying for all your meals and simply doing what you asked isn't nice? Take it one day at a time. Praise him for the things he does right and he'll see how happy it makes you. You'll boost his confidence and eventually his small acts of kindness will get bigger and more expensive (just kidding).
3. Being clingy
You finally convinced him to change his Facebook status and now you're seriously embarrassing him by writing all over his wall. A few nice posts here and there are always good, but there's cute and then there's creepy. Don't complain when he doesn't text back right away or when he wants a night out with the guys. Being needy is a turn off, but being independent is a turn on.
4. Talking about your ex
It doesn’t matter if it’s good talk or bad talk, no talk is best. Put yourself in his situation. We know your blood is boiling just thinking about him mentioning hername. The past is the past so leave it there.
Nagging is the least effective way of communication and has been called the enemy of love. A recent article in the Wall Street Journal defined nagging as, “... the interaction in which one person repeatedly makes a request, the other person repeatedly ignores it and both become increasingly annoyed.” Nagging is toxic for a relationship and it’s inevitable that it will lead to fights and breakups.
6. Not paying attention
In 2005 not paying attention meant being more focused on applying your mascara than your man, but today it’s so much more than that. Between texting your BFFs, updating your status about your outfit, tweeting about your date, and instagramming your food your man feels like you’re more in love with your iPhone than him. Enjoy the time you two are spending together. Put your phone in your purse and leave it there until you get to the car. Or sneak off to the bathroom if you must.
7. Trying to change him
Remember when you thought you had finally met your match, but you were a little leary about one of his bad habits or his marriage-phobia? You probably expressed these apprehensions to your best friend and she told you, “Don’t worry, you can change him.” She lied. You can’t. He’ll be the exact same guy you met and those little things that annoyed you about him will only get worse. You have two options: 1. Realize that those annoying things are kind of cute and they’re what makes him, him. 2. Find a new boyfriend. If it’s something that really bothers you, bring it up and see how he reacts. If he’s willing to change for you, he’s a keeper.
8. "Girl stuff."
Periods are a fact of life. I know you resent your man because he doesn’t have to experience them every month, but it’s not his fault. He doesn’t want to hear how excruciating your cramps are or have run to the store to buy you tampons. It comes at the same time every month -- you should be fully stocked. It’s okay to ask him to bring you some Midol or a heating pad, but graphic detail about what’s going on down there is a big NO. Also, please do not take off your hair extensions, fake eyelashes, etc in front of him or leave them on the bathroom counter. Unless you told him that you clip in your hair every day, he probably literally thinks it grows longer every morning.
9. Over possessiveness and jealousy
You know you've been there. Some girl likes his photo on Facebook and you call him freaking out,"Uhm who is Jane Doe?" He responds, "She's my cousin, why?" Oops, your bad. He's with you for a reason so take a deep breath and trust him. It's inevitable that he's going to have girls that are friends, just like you have boys that are friends. So when his best girl friend of 5 years texts him to say, "What's up?" know that she literally just wants to know what he's doing.
10. Running late
There's nothing fashionable about never being on time. I'm famous for using the line, "Would you rather me look ugly or be 5 minutes late?" The first couple times my man laughed, but after the 20th he didn't think it was so funny. I understand it's easy to get distracted while you're getting ready. You have to shower, then check all your social media accounts, blow dry your hair, have a dance party, pick out your outfit, apply makeup, call your mom, and after you've transferred all your stuff from one purse to the other, you might be ready to go. Men just don't understand. So next time you have dinner plans at 8:00, start getting ready at 5.
11. Poor hygiene and manners
Cursing like a sailor and belching louder than your man is not cool. Personally, I don’t think it’s ever okay to pass gas, I can’t even say the four letter word, in front of him either. Also, he understands if you forget to shave every once in awhile, but try not to make it a habit. If your leg and armpit hair rival his, you should be mortified.
12. Fast forwarding to the future
Pinterest has made is so easy for us to plan every little detail of our wedding -- even if it's far in the future. From the bachelorette party to the centerpieces, you’ve got it all set. The only thing you don’t have is a ring. If you’re only on your second date and debating if you’ll keep your last name or hyphenate it with his, you have a problem. If your man is serious about being serious, you’ll know.
Has your man ever expressed a turn off to you? What things about men turn you off?
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