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15 Signs He's Not Into You

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Posted by Anonymous on August 18, 2010 at 5:44 PM

One of my friends just sent this to me because I've been sobbing about this guy for the past 2 months. After reading this it became very clear... he's just not that into me. I'm not sure where she got this list exactly (perhaps from the book) but I thought I'd share with it you so that maybe one of you will avoid wasting your time with a guy who isn't worth your time.

1. He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out.

If a man is excited about a woman, he can’t stop himself— he wants more. If he’s attracted to her, he’s going to want to take it further. If he’s not making a move, it’s not because he is ‘scared’. The only thing he is scared of is how not attracted to you he is.

2. He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you.

He says he didn’t have a moment in his busy day to call. Rubbish! The real reason is that you are not on his mind. If a man leads you to expect he will call and then doesn’t follow through on such a little thing, he will never follow through on big things. Be aware he is okay with the idea he is disappointing you.

3. He communicates via TEXT and email.

By doing so, he avoids the “getting to know you” conversations. He really isn’t interested in moving things forward. He wants the down and dirty. When can he see you? If you have already had sex, his TEXT is to set up his next booty call. He usually steers the conversation towards telling you how sexy you are and how he can’t wait to see you again. DUH!

4. He warns you that he isn’t relationship material.

Men usually say what they mean. He is telling you that he is not relationship material-at least with you-believe him! You might be the exception to the rule, but more than likely, you are not. He is probably going to have sex with you and dump you when things get too complicated (you want more from him).

5. He puts little planning into your date.

He tells you that he wants to hang out and watch a movie or something. “Something” means having sex in case you haven’t figured that out by now. If you always go to the restaurant, because it is his favorite, he isn’t trying to please you. More than likely, he goes to different restaurants with different women. A guy that is really into you will plan a date. Even if the date doesn’t cost him a dime, he will plan.

6. He makes lots of empty promises.

He keeps talking as if you have a future, but he takes little or no action. He talks about having a future together or all the fun things you will soon, but he doesn’t plan a date! Some men promise the moon, sun and stars, but deliver…nothing! He really isn’t that into you. Think about this. If he can’t come up with a few things that make you swoon despite his pocketbook, he isn’t that into you.

7. He makes last minute plans to see you.

You are just so glad he calls that you don’t realize that that he is definitely not that into you or he thinks that you have no life and would be readily available at his beck and call. Either way, if you accept, you aren’t scoring any points. You were probably one of the women in his “little black book” and not his first call.

8. He avoids the “getting-to-know you” conversations!

He really doesn’t want to get to know you better. He wants to know what he needs to know to get you into bed. If he really wants to get to know you better, he is asking questions about you, your life and what you want. If not, he is looking for the easiest, quickest booty call. He will flatter you! He will tell you how amazing you are! But he doesn’t really know anything about you. If you fall for this, don’t expect a call anytime soon. He will call you again when he is horny.

9. He is pushy about getting physical.

He tries to move things forward beyond the “make out” session with minimal clothing. If you resist, he makes you feel bad that you aren’t that into him. He says that he just wants to cuddle, but he is really trying to get more. (Just so you know, most men don’t really like cuddling. They do it because it gets them sex!) He is kissing and holding you, but in the process trying to take your blouse and pants off, wants sex. If he gets upset or offended when you put the kibosh on moving forward, he isn’t that into you. If someone really likes you, he is willing to wait until you are ready to move things forward.

10. You initiate and he doesn't follow through.

If you're really into a guy and you think he may be shy, try initiating a conversation, phone call or texting session. If you start the conversation, he'll want to continue it. However, if he doesn't return your calls or texts or tries to end the conversation quickly, he may not be into you.

11. His actions don't match his words.

If he says he'll call you and then you don't hear from him or if you suggest meeting up and he is "too busy," he probably isn't interested.

12. If you have been dating for a month or more and have never met his friends, he isn’t that into you.

When men think they have found a great catch, he want to show her off. If you don’t get an invitation to meet his friends, you aren’t that girl. He wants to see you alone but not integrate you into his life, this is not a good sign. If a man is really into you, he wants all his friends to see the woman he is dating. If this doesn’t happen, you are not the woman he wants to be with long term.

13. He says he just wants to be friends.

He means it. If you offer up sex as part of the package, he is willing to be friends with benefits. He isn’t stupid if you are! If you offer to satisfy him sexually, why not. If you think being friends with benefits will lead to more, it won’t. He isn’t into you in almost every case. When he finds someone who rocks his world, you are history.

14. He's not that into you if he's still hooking up with other women.

Or you even catch him at it, he’s not ready to settle down with you. Even if he still maintains inappropriate contact with exes or even other women friends he’s not ready to invest time in you or ready to have any kind of future. He’s just not worth the time if he’s out looking for someone else. Save yourself the heartache and move on. You’ll find someone who will be so thankful for you.

15. He’s just not that into you if he doesn’t want to marry you.

Every man you have dated who says he doesn’t want to get married or doesn’t believe in marriage, or has ‘issues’ with marriage, will, rest assured, someday be married. It just will not be to you.


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  • Posted by Cindy Hill on March 30, 2011 at 4:50 AM
and thank you :)
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  • Posted by Cindy Hill on March 30, 2011 at 4:48 AM
I would only like to add few more tips:

Offering help - If the guy offers to help you with something, like really excitedly “Hey, I can help you with that!” that is also a sign that he likes you. He wants to do something nice to you, to help you out, it’s also pretty obvious - no?

Carries on conversation - Have you noticed that he sometimes wants to just extend a conversation that has led to a dead end? If he really doesn’t want to end the talk and comes up with new topics, ideas, jokes, and if you determine that he does it deliberately - you’re right - HE LIKES YOU :)

Not mentioning other women - This can be a pretty clear giveaway. If he normally talks about women and mentions his female friends but when he talks to you - he doesn’t - then that can be a sign. Why does he do that? Well he just does not want you to think that he might like any of those girls... It’s weird, but guys do it subconsciously...

Well those are SOME of many signs if a guy likes you, but if you wanna know more, there’s a whole website covering the topic of how to tell if a guy likes you, so check it out --> http://www.ifaguylikesyou.com/
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  • Posted by Anonymous on February 25, 2011 at 1:37 PM
ugh :(
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#12- I would give it up to six months. Honestly, I wouldn't introduce a guy to my family/friends after one month. I want to be able to get to know a guy before I even think of introducing him to my family/friends.
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  • Posted by Anonymous on October 27, 2010 at 6:47 PM
My boyfriend sometimes says he will call and then doesn't, and its not because he's not into me, its because he does a trade for a living and when he gets home, he spends most of this time eating or sleeping, haha. Sometimes I say I'll call him and I don't, and its also not because I'm not into him, its because I have a life, and things to do, lust like him. Plus calling is expensive, may as well just talk on skype or whatever.

And men don't like cuddles? That is a massive overstatement and generalisation. Its just like saying all women want to get married or wear make up.

I would be very careful in following this list, most things are not that clear cut, there is a such thing as shy guys, and all of that. Maybe he doesn't make plans in general, maybe he's nervous about what you will think of his friends, maybe he's not ready to get married, or say he wants to get married or whatever. In my experince, men don't start talking about get married one week into dating. Neither do most women.
Every person is different, and every relationship is different.
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  • Posted by Anonymous on September 23, 2010 at 11:27 PM
Come on! You don't really believe that men who say they don't need a piece of paper to prove their love are just chicken sh**?? Because I DO believe it's not something exactly necessary (cute but not necessary) and well... I'm a girl. It's all a question of what you need and some men, and me, and some of my friends too think it's a waste of money. Why pay for a wedding like two years after you met when you may very well divorce 5 years after that? A divorce is a real hassle (and a money black hole too...)
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  • Posted by Ann Sam on September 1, 2010 at 4:16 PM
I'm not into marriage myself; or at least discussing it, and I love my boyfriend in an unbelievable way, I just think there's some kind of magic in marriage you spoil when talking about it in advance.
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I believe that if all of these are true then it is very possible that they are not into you. I went through a lot of these with my now fiance. He said he never wanted to get married again and now we are planning a wedding. He just got out of a what he though was a wonderful marriage. It turned out that it was not as wonderful as he thought. There are several other things on here that I have gone through with him as well. It all depends on what they are going through at the time. In most cases a lot of these are true. Stop showing as much interest in him and see how he reacts. I like this guide a lot but, like I said it all depends on what he may be going through. Thank you VERY much for this post. It will help those girls who may need it. Hopefully they will read it and won't get hurt.
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  • Posted by Anonymous on August 25, 2010 at 7:45 PM
i actually agree with most of these to be honest.
been there done that.
i wish i read this before i got hurt cuz it explains most things i went threw.
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  • Posted by Anonymous on August 19, 2010 at 6:58 AM
But what if they repeatedly say they're still just friends with their ex!? I am friends with an ex of mine :S, but have very good reason to not want him nr an ex of his, but it always starts a row :(
and what about 'i don't need a piece of paper to show i'm in love' marriage junk men say!? I think thats just them being assholes!!
If they are 'scared' when you're into them thats the most jackass thing ever and they deserve to be alone forever!
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