4 Ways to Keep Fights Clean
Posted by Casey Nicole on July 31, 2012 at 5:54 PM
When it comes to relationships, always follow the golden rule that Kevin Bacon once shared: “Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty." Bacon has been married to his wife, Kyra Sedgwick, for over 20 years, so it’s safe to assume he knows what he’s talking about. While we have plenty of articles on the second part of his advice, here are 4 ways to help keep your fights fair.
Leave the Past Behind
There’s no point in bringing up the time your guy forgot to call you last month or some other random mistake every time you argue. You’ve got to put the past behind you instead of stockpiling your issues. In addition, if you’re carrying baggage over from another relationship, you need to make sure you don’t bring this out on your new guy either. Just because your ex wasn’t a good guy, doesn’t mean your new beau is going to be the same.
Even if you know things were said simply in the heat of the moment, those words will still inflict pain on your partner. And neither of you will forget them. Name-calling is barely acceptable when children do it, so there’s no excuse for you to insult your partner with rude words. Instead of swearing or name-calling, keep arguments clean by focusing on how you feel. Instead of “You’re such an ass,” begin statements with “I feel bad when…”
Skip Social Media
For the sake of your relationship not only with your guy, but your friends, too; skip using social media to vent about relationship problems. Everyone can tell that your vague, passive-aggressive status updates are about your guy. It’s not fair for anyone if you air your dirty laundry via Facebook or Twitter. Keep the personal stuff between you and your guy, not your 500 Facebook “friends.”
Don’t Threaten to Break Up
Don’t use ending the relationship as a threat during an argument. It’s a very low blow to your partner and will continue to cause them uncertainty about the relationship even after the argument ends. Don’t mention breaking up unless you seriously mean it. And even then, it shouldn’t be brought up during a heated argument.
How do you keep your fights clean? Share your relationship advice in the comments below!