6 Outdated Relationship Rules You Shouldn't Be Following
Posted by Casey Nicole on June 29, 2012 at 5:46 PM
While we can always learn something from our elders, they aren’t always wiser when it comes to dating for our generation. Women and men are challenging traditional roles in marriage and at the workplace, so we shouldn’t blindly abide old-fashioned ideals for dating either. Here’s our list of outdated relationship advice that you shouldn’t be following.
1. He Always Pays
Unfortunately, with half of post-grads either unemployed or underemployed, no one really has extra funds, especially to pay for dates. If a guy asks you out, then by all means he should be paying for that date, but after you’ve started seeing each other regularly, then you should be picking up the tab sometimes, too. Even just after the first date, I like to offer to buy drinks for the two of us. The guy won’t feel offended that you’re trying to pay and will seriously appreciate the sentiment.
2. Play Hard to Get
You make eye contact with a hottie at the bar. Do you just continue chatting up your girlfriends in the hope that he’ll read your mind and come over? No! Go ahead and make the first move. It doesn’t have to be as forward as buying him a drink, but if you notice someone is checking you out, flash him a big friendly smile. He should get the vibe that you want to chat, and you won’t miss out on meeting someone new. And on that note…
3. Girls Never Chase
This rule is still firmly ingrained in most of our dating styles. I remember attending an assembly in high school where the speaker warned us girls of chasing boys. She said we should never call guys or be the first to write notes, etc. Pretty sexist, right? If you’ve been hanging out with someone and want to take things to the next level, you shouldn’t hide your feelings. Give the guy a break from wondering how you feel, and just let him know. If you exchange numbers, don’t be afraid to call him up first. Obviously, no one should be making all the moves all the time, but there is nothing wrong with going after what you want.
4. No PDA
There’s no shame in a little PDA! While it might have been deemed improper in the past, no one is going to be affronted by you showing your guy a little affection. And by a little affection we mean holding hands, a friendly hug or quick kiss. Public groping is never acceptable. While we’re on the topic of physical attention…
5. Waiting for Him to Make the First Move
It used to be standard to always wait for the guy to make the first move when it came to sex, or even kissing. But nowadays, you don’t have to wait for him to muster up the courage to kiss you. Just go ahead and show him what you want already. Believe me, no one is going to judge you.
6. Marriage Before Moving In
This one is still up for debate. Most couples do cohabitate before marriage; however, there is still debate whether or not it is worth it. Some good news is that a 2010 survey by the Pew Research Center found that nearly two-thirds of Americans saw cohabitation as a step toward marriage. But, there are negatives, like the “sliding, not deciding” factor that some couples just move in together for convenience and don’t feel they have an easy way out if they start to regret it. However, if done responsibly, it’s a great way to determine compatibility before the big commitment.
There are so many relationship rules, so how many do you follow? Do you wish these rules were still the norm or do you find them outdated, too? Share your thoughts in the comments below!