6 Ways to Date Like a Sane Woman
Posted by Girls Guide To on July 19, 2012 at 4:17 PM
Alternate titles: “6 Ways Not to Be Crazy” and “6 Ways to Use Common Sense While Dating So No One Will Call Women ‘Crazy’ Again.” Ok ladies, it’s time to woman up and get rid of the “crazy” reputation once and for all. Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re not normally insane. I’d bet that you have lived your life day in and day out using common sense and thinking rationally and all of that good stuff. Me too! But sometimes when you’re given the opportunity to date someone new, you change from a sane, mild mannered and carefree girl into a paranoid freak harpy of woe and irrationality. It happens. And when I say that, I mean it happens to me. Every time. So here’s how you can avoid the mistakes that I make over and over again and not have to suffer the rage that comes with being called crazy.
1. Stay Positive
When we meet someone new, the emotion we feel is indescribable. (I’m speaking for all single people here, but you know what I mean, right?) There is hope, there is life, there is possibility! But then something switches and you suddenly start planning out your expiration date. You look to the future and think, “well, at least I got to try a few new restaurants out of this relationship.” Stop it ladies! This guy is not your ex who cheated you. He’s not your ex who’d rather play video games with his bros than hang out with you. He’s not even the ex who didn’t call that one time. It’s unfair to assume that all men are put on this earth just to stomp all over your heart. Don’t let your past hang ups get in the way of a completely new and different situation!
2. Don’t Go Down the Paranoia Vortex of Doom
So you texted this new guy a few hours ago and he still hasn’t texted back. You know what he’s doing? Maybe working. Maybe working out. Maybe playing video games with his bros. He’s probably not boning some other chick while they laugh about what a fool you are for texting him. Stay calm. Paranoia isn’t healthy, my friends. It gives you wrinkles. Instead, remember that most guys are actually decent at their core and he will get back to you if he is interested.
3. Stop the Obsession
Ok, this one is the hardest one for me, I will be honest. I love to obsess. Over everything! It’s amazing my brain hasn’t exploded from all the obsessing that I make it do. Example: So he didn’t text you back. Still. You thought you had a good time out but it’s been a few days and your inbox is a ghost town. Don’t assume that you can fix the problem by even more contact with their voicemail. STOP IT! You are awesome. If a guy isn’t into you, that’s his deal. There is nothing that you can do to change his opinion of you. You can, however, move on to someone else.
4. Just Say What’s Going On in Your Head
It’s time for a little Public Service Announcement. Stop. Bottling. Up. Your. Emotions. Don’t store all your thoughts and feelings about something that is bothering you until all that fury and hurt and rage explode out of you like a shaken-up coke. Air your grievances when they happen in a polite and considerate way. And then listen in a polite and considerate way when your boyfriend does the same to you. If you both stay calm, then most misunderstandings can be solved almost instantaneously. (Do not, however, bring up something that pissed you off weeks ago. This is not constructive, because if you didn’t bring it up when it happened then the other person will have assumed their actions were correct and they will, naturally, be more defensive.) Just say it. Seriously.
5. If Some Dude Doesn’t Like You, It Doesn’t Mean that No One Does
Reality check: You have friends. I know that seems obvious to you now, but when your heart has been ripped out of your chest, thrown on the ground and run over by a dump truck – it’s hard to remember that. You know from experience that just because this didn’t work out, you will still survive. The world will still keep turning and people will still die and babies will still be born. There are a lot of other people out there. 7 billion of them, in fact. And I bet a lot of them will like you just fine.
6. Take a Little Responsibility, Eh?
Ok, so you didn’t follow these rules. You are human, so it’s ok. We all make mistakes. But you gotta grow up at some point and realize that you are the one that made those choices. No one is controlling your strings – you are your own puppet master. The key to making mistakes is that you learn from them and use them as a catalyst to self-improvement. The true definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So, admit to yourself “wow, I really effed that up.” Apologize and move on. If this guy is unwilling to accept your apology, so what? You are not always going to make the right choices, but you are human and are allowed a bit of irrationality every now and again.
Once again, I am guilty of committing every single one of these crimes against sanity. So what makes me even remotely qualified to give out advice? I don’t know. But I think the answer to that is simple. Everyone deserves love and a romantic life, but I feel I am correct in saying that most of us make irrational decisions when dealing with our guys. So, let’s all just take a chill pill and realize that experience is the greatest teacher so that way we will be ready when the right one comes along.