6 Ways to Help a Girl Out During a Break Up…
Posted by Girls Guide To on May 30, 2012 at 1:13 PM
…without always ending up with a huge hangover! Watching a friend go through a breakup is frankly, almost as bad as going through it yourself. It’s so hard to know if you’re helping and then you feel guilty and sad that you aren’t as much as you want to and it just spirals from there. But honestly, there’s probably no magic way to make someone feel better instantly. But you can help in small ways, and yes, several of those small ways are probably shots of tequila. I found a bunch of helpful ideas from a recent blog post on Glamour that I just had to share. Here’s how to make your friend feel the teensiest bit better:
Sense her mood and try to act accordingly. Most people tend to vacillate between two break up moods: devastated and totally pissed off. When she’s in weepy devastation mode, don’t bother telling her what a jerk her ex was and how she deserves better, even though it’s true. Just pat her on the back and maybe spoon feed her a hot fudge sundae. On the other hand, if she’s ragey, go to a kickboxing class together.
Let her be a little petty. Remember that time in Sex and the City when Carrie’s pretending she’s all fine with Big and Natasha, and after a silence in which nobody believes her for a second, Samantha busts out, “Natasha, what a bullshit name”? Saying some variation on this line never fails to make my best friend and I laugh when either of us is having a relationship issue. It’s such an absurd, silly thing to make fun of, and your friend will appreciate you letting her be kind of a brat about the whole messy situation.
But stop her from any moves that will make her look bad to other people. Like if she drunkenly wants to text her ex that his new girlfriend has a stupid name (those comforting tequila shots can get you in trouble). Remember, her emotions are going crazy. Help her make good decisions.
Give her something to look forward to. Make fun plans, and if they require a little planning (mapping out a road trip, finding a new dress), all the better for distracting her and keeping her from moping.
Sometimes, do nothing. Don’t feel like you always need to be the problem solver or advice giver. Sometimes, she just needs you to be cool with letting her bail on brunch this week and just leaving her alone until she's ready to rejoin the world.
Put the focus on her, separate of her love life. One of the best things my best friend has ever said to me when I was going through a major rough patch was “I think you are so brave.” It truly made me feel so much better than all the “He’ll be sorry someday” or “What a jerk” comments ever did, because it made me feel stronger and proud of myself for taking risks and getting through hard times. That's a majorly positive change in energy.
Have you ever helped a friend get through her break up? Did she help you? What are the most comforting things you can do for each other?