Do You Have a Boyfriend “List?”

Let’s get real, we’ve all done it. We’ve all made a list of what we’re looking for in a guy. Sometimes the requirements are pretty simple: Intelligent, tall, likes puppies and likes children and has a good job. And sometimes the list is slightly insane, noting eye color, his name…you get the point.

There’s a huge difference between knowing what you want and engineering the “perfect” man. I sometimes wonder if the women who have a list that could be as tall (or taller) than they are really don’t want to find “the one.” I wonder if they’re too afraid to take a chance on someone and would feel safer being alone. After all, you don’t get mangled in love when you’re alone. Then again, having a list of boyfriend requirements that is nigh impossible to fulfill makes you wonder if the woman who wrote the list has unrealistic requirements about herself and her life too.

It’s funny that when you create a list, any type of a list, you can get so bogged down in the details that you’ve forgotten the reason why you created the list in the first place. Haven’t you ever made a list when you go to the supermarket and you swear that you’re only going to buy what’s on the list and nothing else. Then you come out and somehow, a carton of ice cream has found itself into your plastic bags.

So, do you, should you really adhere to this list you’ve made for your future boyfriend? A guy isn’t a carton of ice cream that you accidentally bought at the market. A boyfriend is a serious matter. Right? Not really. When you think about it, a boyfriend is someone you enter into a relationship with for a period of time. The relationship, any relationship doesn’t have an expiry date, but just because you’re dating Alex now, doesn’t mean that you’ll be dating him 7 or 8 months from now. If you’ve all ready pre-planned the relationship with the guy, any guy by the third date, don’t be surprised if it and he doesn’t follow your master plans.

So if you can’t really pre-plan how long you’ll be with him, how can you really pre-plan all of his characteristics? Look, there’s nothing wrong with saying that you’re only going to date guys who share your religious or political background. When you’re dating, you want common ground and if the relationship grows and you’d prefer not to wrangle over what religion your kids will follow makes perfect sense.

And yes, it makes sense that you’d want to date only guys with a good job. Any woman out there can attest that dating a guy who isn’t working is not a fun experience. There’s only so much mac n’ cheese that one can eat before one gets punchy at the sight of elbow pasta.

But to look for guys who only have brown eyes or look like a movie star that you have a crush on or weigh exactly 200 pounds, not one pound more or less, can narrow your field to the point where you won’t find anyone at all to date.

I’ve always been attracted to tall, lean guys. Yet, I was so charmed by this one guy I had met… he was funny, smart, kind and charming that his weight didn’t even matter. When you like someone - I mean really like someone - weight, eye color or what type of shoes he wears doesn’t matter.

The next time you’re out looking at guys, narrow your list down to smart, funny, kind, has two arms, two legs and you might surprise yourself into a good time.

Do you have a list? Is there anything you should put on your boyfriend list?

{Source: PJ Gach for Betty Confidential}

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