Guy’s Advice: “Date Your Wife”
Posted by Katie Ostoich on July 2, 2012 at 4:19 PM
I have a secret: I love reading men’s magazines. I’m not alone right? They give out some good advice (though not always…remember this article?). So when I stumbled upon this piece in the Huffington Post, I had to share my thoughts about Justin Buzzard’s simple relationship advice for men everywhere: “Date your wife.”
As he says, “You know the statistics. Marriage is broken in our world. If your marriage isn't broken, the marriage of someone you know is. At the very least, your marriage isn't pulsating with the life and power it was meant to have.
But, it's not too late. There's still hope for marriage -- for your marriage, for your neighbor's marriage, and for marriages that haven't happened yet. Marriages can be jumpstarted, the sacred union between a husband and a wife can receive new life and power. I don't care who you are, who you've been, or what your marriage has been through -- everything can be made new.
It's harder and easier than you think.”
So he tells men in very simple terms to date their wives (his advice is to married couples, but I think this applies to anyone in a long-term relationship that wants to keep up the ”spark”). We’ve all seen what happens. The man who dated, wooed, and passionately pursued his girlfriend degenerates into the husband who merely shares a home, bills, conflict, and problems with his wife.
Think about it. Once upon a time there was a guy who really liked you. He put a lot of effort into impressing you. Eventually, you became his girlfriend. He told his friends all about you. You were happy. He was happy. He kept at it. He didn't let anything get in the way of impressing, wooing, and caring for you, his girlfriend. But then he stopped.
As Buzzard puts it, no husband would ever say this out loud, but the game plan followed by the average American man looks something like this:
Step 1: Find a girl you like.
Step 2: Get that girl to like you back.
Step 3: Impress the girl until she becomes your girlfriend and wants to marry you.
Step 4: Relax.
Step 5: Share a home, bills, conflict, kids, and stress with the girl who was your girlfriend.
Sound familiar? Clearly this game plan isn't working well. Men need help. Because don’t we just want to see some effort? Because in our minds, sometimes effort = caring.
However, shouldn’t we be held equally as responsible? Didn’t you put in effort to “woo” your man? It takes two to tango, so they say. Is it always the man’s fault if things turn a little lackluster?
What are your thoughts on this? Is simply “dating” us enough? What can we do to stop putting all the blame on the men in our lives?