How do I learn how to open up again?

i am experiencing the same now.its hard but i think we'll have to face the consequences.:)
HAHAHA.its like,okay live it up like this.and lets just see what tomorrow brings.
guys will always be out there.D

you know i honestly was right there up until a few months ago. my daughter is going on 17months, her father left me when i was 3 months along, and i didnt want to even look at another person for the longest time. even a few months ago, getting hit on, i just wasnt into flirting or anything. what i needed was time, space, by myself and to focus on my daughter. and it worked. im now with an amazing guy, apparently he wanted my number for a year! haha. if he'd tried a year ago, he wouldnt have gotten very far. i guess what im saying is just give yourself time to heal from the past, you will open up again, its human nature to seek love and acceptance. dont force it. good luck

this is the best advice so far. all that be yourself stuff isnt particularly helpful when youve been betrayed by more than one guy in a row. im in the exactly the same situation right now. the school year just started up and there are a few really nice guys that id like to get to know too. but the guys that betrayed me all started out nice too... its hard to tell who is really genuine and who is just really good at telling you what you want to hear. so im going to try to get to know a few guys as just really good friends and then after a while of hanging out with just a bit of flirting to see if there is any real connection. and just because the guys that weve gone for before this were scum doesnt mean that we should hold it against these new guys. they deserve a fresh chance, they are completely seperate people. We cant hold back our whole lives just because were afraid of being hurt..

I think to make a long distant relationship work, you need to communicate very well with each other and have a lot of trust and the biggest factor is honesty, it isn't a easy road. Im currently in one, he lives in vegas and im in seattle. it is only a 2 to 3 hr trip by plane and not in another country. we have been doing this for a couple months and have had some bumpy patches, but we decided that we have to be able to talk about what we are feeling no matter what. for example when its not working being abe to let the other know that its not working. its the only way that it will work out.

It will come with time, and probably when you lease expect it. Give yourself time to heal,
and take things slowly. You will be fine. Mr. relationship is out there somewhere,and
in the meantime, have fun! Make friends and don't over think things. I do that way
to often, and it keeps me from experiencing fun and friends. ( i have been getting
much better though) Men are not the most important thing in life. But, they are
very nice to have around... (- : light a candle, and take a deep breath... it will all
work out...

I haven't read the other comments but I would say to try to get to know some guys as friends first and learn to trust guys again through THAT sort of relationship first before you try to go for something deeper, more intense, and more complicated. And healing takes time so take your time. And maybe you could start with getting close to a guy that's related to you or somthing first so there's no temptation?

I've been through this, I know this isn't something you want to hear but it's taken me almost two years to get over an ex-boyfriend. But throughout these two years, I've gotten close to a few guys. The one thing I have to remind myself, is that I know how that one boy acted and I know what to look for in the new guy. I do simple things, like hang out with a boy, before I get too close to him. Most guys want a girl that can be their girlfriend and their friend also..

I understand your situation, I think all of us have been there at least once in our lives. Right now I'm in a relationship, and I would say that's just a matter of trusting. However, I believe this life is a 50-50: it can rather be or not. He might be an ass or not. He'll be a nice guy or not. Keep this in mind.

Sooner or later you'll meet someone who's very special and if he wants something serious with you, he'll show that. Open up easily but as a friend. Usually guys want someone who's friendly and original.

Hey =)
I'm new to this group thingy, this is the first article I have seen and it seems like a sign! I am in a very similar situation myself and am struggling to move forward emotionally. Whereas, previously, I have always enjoyed the intimacy of a relationship and security of having someone there all the time, I now can't seem to stand the idea of getting close to someone and anything other than friendship feels like too much pressure.
However, I do feel that this is partly due to the fact that I haven't met the right guy yet. I'm not talking about the 'One' haha just the right guy to bring be out of my mental block. I fully believe that when he turns up I will be perfectly fine.
The others are right to tell you to be yourself. If you are yourself from the beginning then you know that if someone pays you particular attention it is because of who you are. I know it is difficult sometimes, but remember to stay confident. There will be many people who count you as special.
Something that I have found helpful is to surround myself with guys who I have a purely platonic relationship with. It's a relief sometimes to know that there is no pressure to be mysterious and interesting haha just a few mates having a laugh. I don't know if you have many male friends, but if you have any I suggest you arrange to go out for a few drinks as a group and get yourself involved in a bit of male banter. That should help you feel less nervous about talking to men. Most men want a girlfriend who they can be friends with too.
x

No don't try to be someone else. I had a bad break up and it feels like I'm never gonna find love again. I thought he was the one. I don't trust the ones I have dated and I just stop caring about them. My ex appears from time to time and send me sms:s from time to time.
the thing is don't be anybody else but your self. You'll win by your own personality and style.