How to Get That Perfect Beach Body
Posted by Katie Ostoich on May 18, 2012 at 4:16 PM
While being in shape to be healthy and feel good about yourself is important, and we like to provide tips and tricks for you from time to time, this article from Gawker says exactly what I want to say to all of you: Just go to the damn beach and enjoy yourself already.
I want to go hug Hamilton Nolan, the author of this article. His article is a breath of fresh, rational air.
So we all know pools across the country open in a week or so and beach vacations are coming up quick. It’s scary! People might judge you! He asks, “What shall you do, then? Shall you head to the tanning salon? Shall you visit Slimming World? Shall you transform your life with the Beachbody home workout videos? Shall you follow the Diet Chef Beach Body Blitz summer diet? Shall you chew your food in a slow, laborious manner to cut calories? Shall you use lighter weights to hit the whole body in one workout? Shall you tone your belly, butt, and thighs with your fat-blasting summer fitness plan? Shall you combine The Biggest Loser, Crossfit, the Juju Cleanse, and the HCG diet into one formidable calorie-sapping cocktail of beach body readiness? Shall you just stick to the magic diet and the magic workout that will give you the magic body in two days, or seven days, or twenty-one days, or just, you know, fast?” That sounds exhausting, non?
So let’s all agree to do nothing, ok? Can we just metaphorically throw them all away? Because we don’t need them to have the “perfect beach body.” Hear me: You don’t need anything! Nothing. Zippo. You have the perfect beach body already.
Do you have the perfect body? No. You do not. In all likelihood your body suffers from myriad physical flaws which we won't go into here except to just nod meaningfully at your undeveloped quadriceps. But you do not need the perfect body to go to the beach. You just need your body to go to the beach. I think we’ve all forgotten that the beach supposed to be fun.
As Nolan writes, “You don't need visible abs to go to the beach. You don't need baseball-shaped biceps to go to the beach. You don't need perfect curves, a slim figure, or a nice tan to go to the beach. You, with the body in which you currently reside, pale/ fat/ scrawny/ mediocre though it may be, should go the beach and have some f*cking fun. You should put on your bathing suit, take off your shirt, apply sunscreen, and frolic in the water. You should lay on a towel. You should throw a frisbee. You should even play Pro Kadima, if you so choose. And you should enjoy yourself. The only people who would insinuate to you that you should not do any of these things because of how your body looks are assholes.”
You have as much right as anybody to go to the beach and enjoy yourself. So stop worrying and just go already.