GirlsGuideTo | Make Your Sex Life a Few Shades Grey-er

Ok ladies, admit it. You read 50 Shades of Grey and be honest, it intrigued you. You might want to switch up some of the vanilla, but you’re not ready for the red room of pain. I get it and trust me, you’re not alone. According to a survey from the Daily Mail, almost 80% of women and 90% of men are excited by the domination and submission theme of the 50 Shadestrilogy. Why? Well, kinky sex has inherent appeal, but truthfully, we all just want something a little different.

Think about it: When a couple toys with the playful side of domination and submission, they are able to behave -- and have their partners behave -- in a way that is unfamiliar and unexpected. That's when sex is most exciting.

For many couples, mainstream BDSM can add flavor to vanilla sex. Let’s face it, it feels taboo. The novelty of physical sensations, combined with the mental eroticism of sexual power-plays…it’s easy to imagine why we’re so into it. But how do you make the leap from fantasy erotica into real-life sexplay, especially if your guy is a little hesitant?

Easy. Go just a few shades grey-er at a time. Try these 8 moves and see where it takes you…we do aim to please. ;)

1. Set the stage
While you don't need a dungeon to dabble in BDSM, you should eroticize your bedroom. Get rid of clutter, your laptop and the loads of dirty laundry. Replace your cotton sheets with satin, burn some incense and put a red bulb in your bedside lamp.

2. Play a mind game
Anticipation is a big part of BDSM. Roll the dice to determine who will be dominant. Whoever wins should plan out a sexual experience for his or her partner and then build erotic expectation by dropping hints (or warnings) about what is to come.

3. Be different
All that leather and latex in BDSM has a purpose. It adds tactile and visual novelty by changing the way a partner's body feels and looks during sex. Change something about yourself. More vamp, less Victoria's Secret. Wear a new fragrance or a temporary tattoo.

4. Show some restraint
Whether you use hand-cuffs or cotton rope, restraint gear can help the dominant partner indulge in a playful sense of sexual control while the submissive partner revels in erotic vulnerability. Try restraint in different positions. Spread-eagle on the bed is great. So is standing with arms overhead: Tie your partner's wrists to a high door hook or a shower rod. This exposes the sensitive stretch of skin along the sides of the body, which you can then kiss, tickle or scratch in a pleasurable way, leaving a trail of goose-bumps in your wake. "Order" the submissive partner to keep his or her legs open while you follow the path south.

5. See no evil
Sensory deprivation is another element of BDSM that couples can adapt to mainstream sex. When eyesight is restricted, the other senses are heightened. Spritz a pair of stockings with perfume and use them to blindfold him, or have him blindfold you with a necktie that smells of his cologne.

6. Spanking and Role Play
Playful spanking increases blood flow, which increases pleasure and sensation. Add a role-play element for extra impact. You know you always wanted to act out the naughty secretary…

7. Cool it
Run an ice cube over your restrained, blind-folded partner's spanked bottom for a surprising yet soothing temperature change. Slide the cube over his nipples and genitals and follow the icy trail with hot exhalations and licks of your tongue.

8. Warm wax play
This involves dripping warm wax onto a partner's bare flesh (not the genitals) and watching the sudden flicker of pain fade into lingering pleasure. Use a specialty candle designed for this, as regular candles will burn the skin.

As you can see from these bite-sized suggestions, it is the interplay of light domination, submission and high-sensory sex -- all elements of BDSM -- that "nice" couples can use to add zing to vanilla sex and rediscover their sexual bond. When practiced in a safe, sane, consensual and fun way, BDSM-themed sexplay doesn't just feel good, it does good.

{Source: Debra Macleod for Huffington Post}