Making him your end-all, be-all
Posted by Jenn Clark on December 2, 2011 at 12:36 PM
Here’s one of the most common mistakes women make in relationships: We make a guy the center of our universe and begin to orbit around him. We focus more on his wants and needs than on ours. We give up our own interests and independence in order to dedicate more of ourselves and our time to him. We make the relationship the part of our lives that defines us the most.Let’s take a look at how this often plays out in day-to-day life: * We stop hanging out with our friends. He becomes our sole source of entertainment and fun. * Our schedules become dependent on his schedule. We’ll cancel other plans if he has an opening and wants to see us. * We give up our activities and interests to spend more time with him. “No, that’s okay. I won’t go to my spinning class. I’d rather hang out with you and watch ‘Beavis & Butthead’/”SportsCenter’/the ‘Three Stooges’ marathon that’s playing for twelve hours straight.” * We take on his likes and dislikes and begin to lose our own identity to some degree. Ever had a friend who likes whatever type of music her current boyfriend likes? Why do we do this? Oftentimes we think that this is the way to show a man that we love him. We think he’ll appreciate our sacrifices and the gift of ourselves. They don’t. (And if he does want a woman who sticks to him like Velcro, he’s got some serious issues.) Quality men want a woman who is well-rounded and balanced. He wants to know you have a life besides him. Yes, a man absolutely needs to feel like he’s a priority. He just doesn’t want to be your only priority. Women also engage in clingy behavior out of fear. Maybe she doesn’t fully trust him and wants to keep him close by. Maybe she’s insecure and worries that he’ll find someone else if she’s not right by his side. Here’s the deal: Men don’t lose interest if you aren’t with them enough. They lose interest if you are with them too much. In his mind, a girl who makes him her end-all, be-all is – at best – a boring girl. And at worst? A needy stage five clinger with stalker potential. We may think that we’re holding onto him by making him our universe. But it’s this behavior that will very often drive him away. And once he’s gone, the resulting void he leaves is enormous. So I say do this instead: Keep the only person you’re guaranteed to spend a lifetime with at the center of your world. You know who that is, of course. That’s right. It’s you. To check out more amazing articles from JennX check out http://www.facebook.com/jennx30somethingandsingle and definitely be sure to become a fan!!!