GirlsGuideTo | Meeting a Good Man while Avoiding the Douchebag

Women complain about how they can't find a good man. The key is to eliminate the bad apples from the start by changing your presentation. How you act will determine what kind of guy will approach you. If you want a good guy, avoid these things. If you want 'The Situation,' keep doing what you're doing. THESE ARE NON-NEGOTIABLE.

1. Don't wear shoes where your toes reach over the shoe.
If this one needs explaining, disregard this article. You know everything. Have fun at the bar with the guy with the facial tattoo who has a 'good heart'.

2. Using your phone while he's talking to you: Nothing says 'you will never have my undivided attention' like someone who is laughing and texting someone else.
If you're not interested in him, that's one thing. If you are, it shows that you're easily distracted, rude and sends up red flags in the trust department. A douchebag, will assume it's another guy and that you're promiscuous. Promiscuous is politically correct for 'slutty'.

3. Never talk about an ex, especially if he dumped you.

As far as you're concerned you're the catch. Mentioning that a guy wasn't interested in you, makes him wonder why he dumped you. This will send up a red flag in the crazy department to a good guy, and shows you have baggage, which shows weakness and attracts the jackals.

4. Lack of confidence: Easier said than done but SO important.

A good guy wants a woman who believes in herself and has ambition. A man looking for an insecure woman is a predator looking for an easy score.

5. Playing hard to get, doesn't mean making out with anyone else: You're not Kim Kardashian.
Don't try and make a guy jealous by grinding the bouncer, unless you're trying to bang two guys. No guy will ever say “man, I remember when my wife dry humped this dude in a sequined UFC shirt...I knew right then I wanted her to be the mother of my children.”

6. A lot of make up is sexy, if you're a transvestite.
Highlight your features, natural is good, circus is scary. Remember, you'll have to keep that lie going if you start off too strong with the make up.

7. Stand up straight.
I'm 6'4 so growing up I always brought myself down to people by slouching. Standing up straight will ward off the douche bags preying on scared, insecure women. If you're tall, own it. What are you going to do with that short guy anyway?

8. Never ask a guy to buy you a drink.
That's what strippers do. Douchebags love strippers.

9. Don't say, ”I never do anything like this.”
That's what strippers say when they fake intimacy to get you to buy more lap dances…so I hear. Better yet, do not do anything that would require you to say that. If you're landing a good man, you shouldn't be up against a restroom stall.

10. DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM THE NIGHT YOU MEET HIM OR ON THE FIRST DATE.

The only thing to kill really good chemistry is sex. If you give it up too quickly he will not come back, unless it's just for more sex. No one has sex on the first date and then says 'can't wait to have a coffee with that person and really take this to the next level'. Resist. Trust me. You have the power ladies. Know it, don't abuse it and stand your ground.

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Tim Nasiopoulos is an up and coming stand up comedian, having performed all across North America. His unique storytelling and acerbic wit provide a hilarious and blunt look at today's society, especially modern relationships. Check him out as his website and connect with him on Facebook and Twitter.