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Secrets of Body Confident Women
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Posted by Katie Ostoich on September 5, 2012 at 3:07 PM
I’m gonna start by saying this: Your body is awesome. Yes, yours. Whether you are tall, short, gangly, curvy, busty, muscular, soft – whatever. You’re great. And chances are, the men out there agree with me. But I bet you don’t. Oh sure, talk of size acceptance and body love are everywhere. Women of all body types — from voluptuous Adele to pin-thin Keira Knightley — are rightly praised as gorgeous. We seem to have learned to see beauty in one another, but when it comes to the beauty in ourselves…well, that’s a different story.
The good news is, you don’t have to live your life this way. You don’t have to live with a lack of confidence and a lot of shame about your body. It is indeed possible to really love and feel great about the way you look. You see, your body confidence is based primarily on how you feel about what you see when you look in the mirror. If you don't like your features or your shape, your body confidence will fall, you'll feel inadequate, and you will be less likely to draw attention to yourself in every arena of your life from work to romance. Yuck. But if you can learn to love your reflection, your body confidence will skyrocket, which means you'll be more likely to pull the spotlight onto yourself and show the world how great you really are, inside and out.
There are two ways to improve your body confidence: You can change how you look or you can change how you feel about how you look. I’m going to tell you right now, the first one is often fairly pointless. Although losing some excess flab, or stacking some muscle onto your frame is a great idea because it will make you feel healthier, more energetic, and more in control, it won't necessarily give you the movie-star appearance you may feel is necessary to have lots of body confidence. However, changing your attitude towards your appearance will help you have more body confidence no matter what "flaws" you see in the mirror.
So what are the secrets of the women who already have this figured out? You know who I mean, the ones who practically strut their stuff on their way to work, regardless if they’re a size 2 or 22. Here are the secrets of body-confident women:
They Notice the Things They Like
We're conditioned to look in the mirror and focus on things we don't like, but it's essential to be able to notice the things we do like. Whether it's your skin, the color of your eyes or the shape of your lips, appreciate it every time you look at yourself.
They Focus on Today
I myself am guilty of pulling up Facebook and looking through my old photos and noticing how I am just not as thin as I was a few years ago. But then I remember that I only have one chance at being fabulous right now and I’m not going to waste it. Put the albums away, stop wishing you looked like you did in high school, and enjoy where you are today.
They Value Their Character
You are not how you look. There is sooo much more behind your “wrapper.” Please don't distil your self-worth down to how you look. It’s a trap. Very few of the world's most amazing, charismatic people are physically beautiful as well. Their attractiveness is in their personality, passion or kindness, and so is yours.
They Invest in Themselves
75 percent of women Glamour surveyed a few years ago said professional achievements make them feel better about their body. What does loving your job have to do with loving your shape? At the end of the day, what we want more than anything is to feel valued. When you get that from your accomplishments at work or in any area of your life (say learning French or being a great friend) you care less about searching for that validation in the mirror. Plus, when you’re busy investing in yourself, you simply don’t have time to obsess over your body.
They Exercise
It’s a fact, working out boosts body confidence, regardless of whether or not your shape changes. It’s a different way of relating to your body. After you cross the finish line of your first race you’ll be less likely to berate your “big” thighs when you know they carried you every step of the way. There’s real power form treating your body like an asset – and not the enemy.
They Don’t Compare
One of the most harmful activities for your body confidence is comparing your body to "better" bodies. Whether it’s in magazines or tabloids or on tv or your friends and co-workers, it’s all unhealthy. Being beautiful doesn’t automatically guarantee happiness anyway. So get out of the Comparison Game.
They Accept Their Own Beauty
Sorry to tell you this, but your genes are your genes. If you’re built like Beyoncé, you’re never going to look like her bestie Gwyneth. There are so many different kinds of beauty - find the kind that means something to you and celebrate that.
How do you build your body confidence? Do you have any tips and tricks to share?
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Have you watched Episode 5 of GirlsGuideTo…TV yet? It’s all about building your self esteem and getting rid of your personal hang ups! Watch it to hear their insight on confidence and be sure to subscribe to our channel so you don’t miss any of the upcoming fun!
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Ive lived all over the world and have experienced cultures such as where being thin with no arse is not a sign of beauty! But more importantly for me, I have awesome friendships with woman (and guys) from different walks of life, and now that im in my late 20s I have find myself more selective with my choice of friends that i let into my "inner" circle - there's a difference between friends and acquaintances. People who are more concerned with their looks and what diet they are currently trying, dont interest me. Those who want adventure and aren't afraid of trying new things and want to generally live life are those who interest me, and I dont care how they look, its who they are they as people that makes the difference.