The Solo Survival Guide to Wedding Season
Posted by Girls Guide To on May 11, 2012 at 4:13 PM
It’s May. Just about the time you used to get excited for the summer. But now, those invites are filling your mailbox and instead of filling your days at the pool and eating ice cream, you’re facing a summer full of Crate and Barrel, Bed Bath and Beyond, and ice cream makers you have to buy (for someone else). It’s easy to get overwhelmed, stressed, broke, sad, and yes, resentful. But it doesn’t have to be that way! It’s possible to keep your sanity and have a little fun along the way, even if you don’t have a plus one. Here’s a single-girl survival guide to getting through the next few months keeping your single self happy, looking fabulous, and feeling self-fulfilled in spite of all the brides bustling around you.
Learn the world "no."
There is no rule that says you have to go to every wedding you get an invite to. If you didn’t get a save-the-date or your invite was delivered suspiciously close to the wedding date, sorry to say, but you might be on the “b-list.” It’s honestly ok to say no, especially if it’s an out of town affair or you feel like you were an obligatory invite.
Go halfsies on a gift.
Look, weddings are expensive for everyone involved, even the guests. Shower gifts, bachelorette parties, wedding gifts…they add up. Go in with other singles on a gift so you don’t go broke during the season. It’s the thought that counts here. You could also DIY a gift or offer your services (design invites, bake the cake, etc.) if you can.
No, you don’t need to rush out and buy a new dress for every event, though the idea is really, really tempting. Instead, invest in a few classic pieces that you can mix and match with what you already have, creating many new looks. However, you want to feel good so make whatever you buy really special. Buy that dress you’ve been staring at in Anthropologie for weeks. Have you been saving for some Louboutins? There’s no better time than the present. And it’s almost instant gratification when the compliments start rolling in!
Embrace the destination.
Can you really blame your friend for wanting to get married in Hawaii? Yeah, neither can we. Of course, it’s going to cost a little more, but instead of feeling like you’re wasting your vacay days, extend your trip and make it a true getaway, especially if you can get some of your girls to stay with you!
Have a partner in crime.
If you’ll be hitting a wedding solo, recruit a pal as early in the process as possible. (Hint: At the engagement party, she’ll be the girl in the corner looking like she’s having as much fun as you are.) Wedding-buddy duties include: sharing gag-me looks at the shower, having a ball on the dance floor together, and saving each other from some overly drunk, touchy-feely guest. So much better than a lousy plus one. Which brings me to…
Don’t drag along a mediocre date.
Just because you were invited as a “plus one” doesn’t mean you should necessarily bring one. It’s really hard (and really not nice) to ditch a date at a wedding and you might miss out on a seriously awesome guy at the reception.
Work your table.
This is not the time to be shy ladies. The “singles table” can be a good thing – it’s kinda like online dating and well, everyone is in the same position. Try treating it like a work social event since there's bound to be people you're sitting with that you don't know. Ask a lot of questions, and get to know the people you are sitting with. You never know – you could befriend just the right person that has in's at all the places you frequent when you aren't trying to catch the bouquet on a Saturday afternoon.
Beware the open bar.
Having a few drinks is not a bad idea, but you don’t want to be the sloppiest girl at the party. Nothing says wedding wig-out like letting your inner drunk girl out.
Celebrate love. (No, really!)
I know it’s corny, but weddings truly are a special time, and it’s always nice to see two people who have found each other--especially when they’re your friends! Take advantage of this moment to celebrate love between two people, and remember why you believed in love in the first place.
Remember that you’re still tons of fun.
All your married or soon-to-be-married friends would probably love to be in your position of freedom. They’ll at least want to live vicariously through you because sometimes, being single is awesome. So why not give them something to look forward to? Go on a bike ride with that guy you met at Whole Foods last week. Say yes to wine tasting with the guy from spinning. They just might become your Plus 1s!
Ward off post-wedding blues
A weekend spent celebrating someone’s wedded bliss while you go home alone can send you into a downward spiral of self-doubt and recrimination. Pre-empt a sad Sunday of “What’s wrong with me”? and “Maybe I should have given him another chance” by having plans with your most upbeat friend. Have a decadent lunch, go on a hike, do yoga. In other words, revel in your freedom. Not convinced? Get on Netflix and watch any movie about miserable married people, and remember that marriage doesn’t necessarily make you happy.