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What Men Really Want In Modern Relationships

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Posted by Anonymous on November 25, 2009 at 10:58 PM

My friend sent this out to all of our single friends and after talking to some of my guy friends I think some of these ring true. So here's what men apparently want...

 

  • First of all a man is seeking a love-interest. This may surprise many women but men like to love and they like being loved in return. The problem is that many women come across as impassioned and cold. It is not easy to find a loving woman and it is very noticeable how many men try and hang on when they think they have found their Miss Right.
  • Men are seeking a woman who is attractive to them. Women may despair that men can be so shallow and that looks could matter so much but be careful. Men aren't necessarily looking for a catwalk model and many men don't like women who weigh 80lbs. But men do want a woman who takes pride in their appearance (though not excessively). Men are proud of having a girlfriend who looks good and I don't believe any man who says otherwise.
  • Men are looking for a trustworthy girl, someone they can have faith in and someone who will be there for them. This may sound like an odd thing to say, but the fact is, some women are not trustworthy and many are not faithful either. So many in fact that men are increasingly wary. That kiss at a  Christmas party may not count, or the flirtatious behavior with the gorgeous barman and in fact its all great fun and part of a woman's character. But reverse the situation and as a woman, you hate him doing the same. A man can never forgive a woman being unfaithful and so he is looking for someone who he really does trust.
  • Men want to make a home eventually and are looking for a woman who will be a willing sharer in home life. Women with a sociable lifestyle are attractive because they can be relied upon to keep the social diary running in a long term relationship.
  • Men are seeking women who are feminine gentle and kind because deep down the qualities that make a woman a great mother are an attraction in themselves. I am not suggesting that the man himself needs mothering, though some do, it is more the point that men seek the attributes in women that point to someone who would make a great mother to future offspring.
  • Men want women with a great sense of humor. Women often come across as uptight or too bothered by too many small details. You will sometimes hear mention of a girl who is 'one of the boys'. What this means is that she is able to fit in with their humor and is sociable and fun to be with. Such women are extremely attractive to many men. Men want to have a good time and relax when not working and so their ideal partners are women who are able to do the same.
  • Men are looking for women who retain their femininity and and are caring and kind. In recent years, aping men may be a female fashion statement, but it doesn't make them attractive. Whilst every woman in the world burps and farts and has the right to drink pints of beer, it doesn't necessarily attract them to the opposite sex. Women can get angry and say well men will just have to get used to it, but the issue is that they don't. They can just choose not to go for women who act in the same way as their drinking buddies.
  • Men want someone who is supportive. Many women are quick to criticize men in their behavior, career and set about trying to alter them and mould them. This is a crucial mistake. Men can be manipulated yes, but they see their partnerships as support systems. The best relationships work both ways in terms of support. Where a woman is not able or willing to give that support and is too quick to criticize then she may lose her man.
  • Men don't like angry women who shout. They want a woman who can debate and converse and is able to discuss. Communication is king. A fiery passionate temperament may have made you interesting and challenging on day one. But by day 500 it holds no glory whatsoever.
  • Men love a challenging woman, someone who keeps them on their toes. Men are generally lazy in relationships once they feel they're in secure territory. When a man is challenged so he does something about it. If you want to keep your man interested, keep him challenged.
  • Men are generally more reserved about sex than women. This is my experience is a fact. Men know what they like in bed and tend to stick to it. The adventurous sexual appetite in most men isn't there even if they are convinced it is. Men in reality are quite conservative. Sexually adventurous has nothing to do with having lots of partners and more to do with the things they will try with the same partner. In most test cases I have conducted, it is the man who looks for a quiet time in the bedroom and the woman who ultimately becomes bored.
  • Men want a woman who will commit to them. Though increasingly this is hard to find, it doesn't take away the wish. Men want a girlfriend who they can share with and trust and be open with. Commitment is not a one way street and therefore men are struggling to find the levels of commitment they found previously. But the need is still there.
  • Men don't want to be alone.

This column can easily fire a great debate. The fact is, a modern man is seeking a reliable, sexy, single girl with whom he can have a long term relationship with. He wants to have fun, share his life and ultimately settle down. There are a few long term bachelors but not that many. The problem guys have is that the world has changed. They don't necessarily want to have children and settle down straight away, but it will come. They do seek self-respect even if they are not the primary breadwinner and they seek respect from their partner.

While women become increasingly strong in their new roles in society, it is worth remembering that it takes, and always will take, two to tango.

(This was originally from http://www.topdatingtips.com/what-men-want.htm)

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  • Posted by Sam Jones on February 21, 2011 at 2:14 PM
totaly agree with you!!! been single for 6 yrs yr niot alone! nice girls realy do finnish last an this list is a load of crap 2 b honest!!!! xxx
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  • Posted by Sam Jones on February 21, 2011 at 2:11 PM
well said!!xxxx
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  • Posted by Anonymous on February 21, 2011 at 1:42 AM
I agree with this list, it's everything my guy wanted, and he found me. I was considered one of the guys, but i was very girly, and also gorgeous as I was told by a lot of my guy friends. My guy liked the way I was, he considers me his best friend not only his wife. So I disagree with the person who made the statement 'girls that are one of the guys are undateable'. We get along perfectly and never fight. we disagree sometimes but dont find it necessary to have screaming matches, also were both way too laid back for that crap. I support him, and he supports me. I think he's honestly my soul mate.
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  • Posted by Codi Nugent on February 20, 2011 at 9:39 PM
like this article. :0) dont agree with all of it but for the most part seems right
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  • Posted by Anonymous on January 21, 2010 at 7:42 PM
likewise, i am everything and more on that list, n yet being a kind, considerate, caring and trustworthy person who has so much to offer has got me nowhere! to be honest i give up on men!!! n the search for happiness and love is just an utter waste of time!!!
yes i am jaded, i've been single for many years also and it feels like the only thing i can get is the things i don't want - great guys who can't let go of their past relationships to see what's in front of them... when all i really want is to have someone in my life to share it with, to be happy and to give someone all the love i have inside me n never let me go. it's proving to be an impossible dream - maybe some women are just destined to be alone and not experience the true meaning of love!
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  • Posted by Kier on December 4, 2009 at 7:35 PM
What they mean by keeping him "challenged" it means as in acting as if you are interested but at the same time don't automatically fling yourself at him. Too many women do this. In order to really take a hold of a man. Act interested but kinda worry about yourself too. Flirt with him for awhile and then do your own thing. DO NOT FLIRT WITH OTHER MEN. this will make him think you are nothing more than a flirt and this is not needed. Many women try to give their all. Oh yes it is nice to do this but you cannot always be there for him. Make sure that when he asks you to hang out almost everyday...tell him one day that you are busy hanging out with friends or you are busy with stuff that you need to do. CAll him, but make sure you are not the one who is calling him all the time. if you call him the first day...then dont call him until he calls you. Yea sure maybe if you get worried send a flirty text to him and then let him be the one to make the next move. If he wants you to do something even though it is his responsibility look at him and say "no" but remember to smile coyley and tilt your head to the side a little bit and look up at him with your eyes as you smile. This is showing you are flirting with him and at the same time you are not throwing yourself at him becuase you told him politely "no". Smile and be confident. Always assure yourself that if it does not work out with him then you can find other suiters just make sure you keep that in mind when you are trying to flirt with your crush in order to hopefully later go on a date and then into a relationship status hopefully. If he asks what you did today. Tell him a little of what happened on your day but dont go into full detail. You want to keep him interested. such as" oh i was just really busy all day doing stuff and then later went out with the girls to have fun." This will make him curious. Hang around him yes but make sure you also give him some space too. Otherwise he will feel as if he is suffocating. Later once things start to progress, confidently walk up to him and tell him one day that you really like him and suggest if at all possible both of you would like to go on a date one day together. And if he agrees, then suggest to him to give you call if he is still interested and also tell him that you do not know when he is busy or not and then write down your number or ask for his cell so you can put your number in it and smile and say, I hope we hang out soon. Smile and start to walk away. Unless of course he wants to talk with you lol.
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  • Posted by Laura Treat on December 2, 2009 at 11:17 PM
I would like to know what is in the 'challenge' category?
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  • Posted by Anonymous on November 30, 2009 at 1:01 PM
I was everything and more on that list, but it didn't work for me, i was kind, caring, trustworthy, listened to his problems, asked about his family, he got on like a house on fire with my Son too.
But guess what, he wasn't interested in me apparantly, went off with another girl and not only that, shoved her in my face on Facebook blatantly like he had done nothing wrong, reading between the lines, i think he just wanted to be 'friends with benefits' as they call it, but still led me to believe it could be more and was still flirting with me after he started seeing this girl, i worked out later. Was he just lonely, thought he'd try is luck with me ? was i just an easy target for him ? we have known eachother for about 8yrs, but this time he came into my life as a single guy, it's so unfair to mess with someones head and life like that, then tried to blame me when i spoke up about it.So the theroy of men want love and commitment etc. he would have had all that with me and a great relationship with my Son, why would he want to throw all that away, it's not like he's only known me 5 minutes??? the girl went back to her ex-boyfriend after about 2 months max, clearly she wasn't right for him, but is now back friends with her, whereas i'm public enemy number one for not acting like a mug ??? Is he scared of a proper committment ? Am i too good for him ??
HELP!! I've been single for 12 yrs now, where am i going wrong, or do i meet all the Assoles in the world !!
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  • Posted by Anonymous on November 27, 2009 at 9:04 PM
I've got guys who I'm just mates with, everyone seems to forget about GAY MEN! I'm pretty sure my guy best mate doesn't want to have sex with me as a lack a penis. And i know women can be nasty, but so can men, contrary to your belief no men are saints and that list to me screams men want a housewife. It shouldn't give hope cause the concept of a Prince charming is not real, love is not real.
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i loved this post it made me feel like my prince charming is out there somewhere... but that being said it also sounds almost too good to be true which is why i find the ladder theory to be quite interesting and i believe most of it!

to the comment above that said it makes women out to be the nastiest things on the planet, well its true. have you ever been to an all girls school? women are bitches! and no i am DEFFINATELY not a guy! but seriously i've listened to my friends talk and im sure at some point in time ive said similar things that would qualify as being very nasty when it comes to guys. and its true about the guys being aloof doing better. we all want somthing we cant have.

ok so guys and girls cant be just friends!!! i dont know why everyone has a problem seeing this! its genetically programed in guys heads to think about girls that way even if she only see's him as a friend! a guy friend even if he made it clear he wanted sex in the beginning and was denied. he is always going to wonder what could have happened if he got in your pants so stop being nieve and accept it! guys like sex! they think about it with every women they meet whether they do it on purpose or not!

so i realize that TONS of ppl are going to be commenting on how "wrong" i am and how the ladder theory is so wrong but if you shut your mouth and thought, and i actually mean take time and think back to instances in your life with guys that are "just friends", you would come to the conclusion that hey this is actually true its just put rather blunt and doesnt quite fit into the fairy tale romance i have going on in my head.

so go ahead bring on the stupid comments on how im wrong, your just denying yourself a sweet reallization that might actually help you with guys
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