if you feel like you really have a chance with you and he'll change for you than id say wait it out just because i'm a hopeless romantic too, but i would say cut at least the sex off, show him that there is something besides lust there for you and maybe he will realize what an amazing person you are. if he gets pissy abou it, then id say cut it off because then you know the only reason hes in a "relationship" with you would only be for the sex.

I can relate completely. For the past year I was with someone (and when I say with, I mean we did everything that couples do but he wouldn't commit because of fear/still being in love with his ex/ generally being an idiot) who did exactly the same. Would seem lovely, good looking and knew how to charm. I kept hoping he would change his ways and see that although loads of girls flirted with him and wanted him it was me that was right for him. After a year we finally made it official, for him to cheat on me with a 15 year old (we're both 20/21) and for him to rip my heart to shreds.

Lesson to be learnt? He won't change unless he wants to, and by telling you that he doesn't want a relationship means that he won't be changing any time soon. As hard as it is, don't take it personally, it just isn't ment to be. Cut all ties and don't waste your time. I wish I'd done it sooner but unfortunately I'm stubborn and it took until the incident with the 15 year old to see what my "relationship" had become.

Take care.

xxx

Sweetie he's like a addiction, ignore the calls and texts block him on face book etc. Cut all ties, some men are manipliative. I had a mr wrong and prayed i could change him. We were together 3 years and had a little girl, but to him this counted for nothing and he cheated on me repeatedly, left me to raise our daughter solo. Left me and lost all interest. Now i've found my mr right he wont leave me alone. Cut all ties whilst you still can xxxx

I agree with kathleen... It sounds to me that he is only after the fooling around for now.. Been there done that its not worth it... dont sell yourself so short...(meaning no sex) Make him chase you if he wants it.. that way as kathleen said you will see his intentions and if and what he is really about,...

move on! chances are he'll only be worse than your ex.. :(

I went through the same thing. And trust me when i say he is just 100% putting on an act. As harsh as that sounds its true. I was in a relationship like that for 3 years. Cause I kept hoping and thinking it'll change he'll change. It takes a lot of life altering shit to make them change and even then its only at face value, truly underneath it'll always be the same old same old until he WANTS to be different. Which it's clear he doesn't.

I was with someone who used to still be in love with his ex. Everyone thought that it was bad judgment on my part, but I was so happy to be with him, I felt that if I just waited everything would be better. And I did wait. And it did get better. And now we've been together for three years and he saw that I was "better" than his ex (both in intellectual conversation and personal enrichment.) Sometimes it just takes time and the fact that you are there for them no matter what helps. And I know that he's gotten over his ex because he moved all the way across the country with/for me (college can be rough on high school sweethearts). And now we both couldn't be happier.

These are different situations, though...there is a difference between a player and a heartbroken boy. If things get too sketchy, I would bail on someone who isn't ready to commit. I, personally, haven't the time or emotions for such things.

I think nearly all of us have been in the same situation. My ex cheated on me for a year, we broke up, and i started seeing a guy i went to uni with, we never officially dated, but i met his parents (who live quite a way away) and his brothers, we hung out and it was really good, but soon it turned basically into booty calls, there was less and less hanging out, it was just sex.
Telling yourself you aren't going to talk to him is good, but you always give in, my last attempt lasted for almost 2 weeks, and i wasn't the one that called, he was! But he still doesn't want anything more, and i am the hopeless romantic too, i've had a crush on this guy ever since i met him, but i have to keep telling myself it is never going to happen otherwise i will go insane wondering.
You will get to the point where you are prepared to cut all ties, and even if you start small and delete his number from your phone, and then maybe delete him on FB later, you are progressing and moving forward.
Goodluck, deep down you know what you have to do, and i know what i have to do, building the confidence to do it will take time though. Goodluck :)

im in the same situation i have known him for a yr. and its so hard to break it off my mind wants me to but i just cant as soon as i tlk to himm it makes me want to b with him forever but then it feels like hes only using me for sex

He's already told you, straight up, he's not looking for a commitment. LISTEN. Otherwise, you're going to end up with a broken heart -- and he'll be totally justified. You were warned. If you ignore the warning, that's your problem and no one else's.

(edited because I accidentally posted twice.)

You can't change a bad boy...... Only he can change himself.