Question
My boyfriend and I have been dating for thirteen months and have had sex for the past two. I'm late for my period and may be pregnant because we didn't use protection. (I know that was stupid.) I don't know what to do if I am, he's fourteen and I'm fifteen. Neither of us are ready for a baby but I don't want to abort or go through the nine months of pregnancy. Is there any advice you can give?
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If it's been within a few days since you had sex you can try to get the Plan B pill. If you are pregnant, you're kind of stuck if you don't want to abort or go through with it. But try to calm down (if you can), because your period can be delayed if you're overly stressed.
there is an abortion pill, you have to take it between 6-8 week ONLY, so you really need to go to a women's clinic. And you need to tell you parents! 14&15 year olds shouldn't be having sex, and I'm not ONLY saying that because you are babies I'm saying that because at that young you CANT feel what sex is supposed to be like. Pregnant or not that was stupid of you. But if you want to act like an adult and do the dirty then act like one and go get your friggin GED and a JOB. Abortion is something that will always stay with you. My best friend had one when she was 15 and is now 27 and she thinks about it every day. I had one because contraception didn't work for me and I think about it every day, I was 24 when I had my abortion, and I'll be 28 in a few months.
Thank you for informing me of the abortion pill; however, the decision of informing my parents is up to me. Plus, graduating from high school and college is much better than getting a GED. Have a nice day.
Hey, you wanted advice and she gave it to you.
I know, but she didn't have to be so mean or rude.
She was kind of mean, but since you didn't even know about Plan B, you probably shouldn't have been having sex in the first place. You're young and periods are often off, so it may be a false alarm. BUT I am not sure what advice you want from people? You either are pregnant or you aren't. You either go through 9 months of pregnancy or you don't. There is no in-between. There are no magical words of wisdom we can give you. I personally could never have an abortion. You had the choice to use protection and chose not to, so now you have to make even harder decisions. But if you do feel that way, I am very pro-choice for others choosing that--but you absolutely have to tell your parents if you want an abortion. You're too young to get one on your own. I doubt you have the money and going to an "underground" person to get you an abortion may kill you and the baby or leave you unable to have children the rest of your life. I really hope you figure it out and I wish the best of luck, but if it is a scare... PLEASE be careful. There a lots of other birth control options you can look into. Talk to a doctor at Planned Parenthood!
When I attempted to get birth control, the condoms wouldn't go around his uncircumsized penis, they were a size large, and my parents wouldn't allow me on the pill.
I already knew about Plan B, but it has been more than three days; therefore, it would be useless considering it can be used only within the first 72 hours after sex with a decreasing likeliness of a successful abortion as time passes.
Plus, I know better than to have an 'underground' abortion.
I don't want to kill my baby and myself if I am pregnant.
Thank you for your advice though.
You didn't Protect, you were about to have your period, and you didn't take the pill the morning after? I'm sorry, bit that is really stupid. If you know about Plan B wh didn't ou take it? Seriously, if you are pregnant, either you abort, or take the 9 months of pregnancy, like someone above already said.
It's really sad to hear things like this.
Even if it was a dumb descision to have sex under these circumstances, I wish you luck and I hope you will find the perfect solution for you both. And I would go see a doctor.
Honey, I have been with many guys. Many large ones and you just use magnum condoms. A little more expensive, but a baby is like $10,000 in the first year alone...
She wasn't being rude she was being blunt and its true. You aren't old enough to have made such a life changing decisions. If you want to have sex like an adult you need to suck it up and face the consequences like an adult.
well i dont think its rite to have an abortion. but i mean since u and ur bf had sex u have to deal with the consequences. talk to your parents. just go through the pregnancy and put him/her up for adoption. u can also do an open adoption so that u still recieve pictures of your baby so ur not relle away from it. or you can surrender him or her if u dont want to go through adoption. there are teen pregnancy clinics look one up. im sure that they would help you. u will get through it. just plz dont abort almost all people who get abortions say they regret it. an unborn child shouldnt have to die becuz of a mistake u and ur boyfriend made.
if you are pregnant and do have the baby you can drop it off at a hospital within a couple days of it being born and they cant ask you any questions, at least thats how it is in minnesota.
Or a Fire Station or Police Station.
I will start by saying I'm a new anonymous addition to this conversation!
I understand that a lot of people become very moralistic when confronted with issues such as under-age/pre-marital sex, but would like to point out that although they can argue about it as much as they like, it's unlikely to alter the fact that it DOES and WILL happen.
This girl has turned to this site for help, be that information, support, whatever - and it is in no way a free-pass for anyone to judge her.
I was 14 when I started having sex, with my first love who I stayed with for many years afterwards and I completely disagree with whoever it was that said "you're too young to know what sex is meant to feel like"... I had some of the best sex I've had so far back then!
But, like the poor girl posting, I became pregnant at 15 also so feel compelled to throw in my two cents!
I know what it's like at 15 to feel that no-one is taking you seriously, talking down to you and assuming you're not mentally capable of making a well-informed decision about such a serious situation.
To me this girl sounds very switched on, and aware that it was her own actions that landed her in these circumstances. I also know how confused she must be feeling.
First of all, take a pregnancy test! You don't need the stress of worrying about this if it turns out that it's not even an issue!
Secondly, when faced with pregnancy you have the following options:
- Keep the child
- Abort (be it pill or procedure)
- Adopt
Those are the options. There's no in-betweens.
I believe that as long as you make a well informed decision, based on YOUR emotions, situation, values etc then it will be the right one for you. You don't have to listen to anybody else, nor do you have to tell your parents. It's your body, your life, your choice.
I chose an abortion, which at the time was hard, but was the right choice for me.
Now at 23, I am 14weeks pregnant and was happily able to make the right choice for me to go ahead and have a child!
Stay true to yourself, weigh up the options, and no matter what you choose it will be the right thing to do.
=)
Thank you so much.
Well I'm the 'mean' one. You come on here and talk about your age, you're asking to be judged. I have childhood friends who had kids when they were way too young. I am just stating the facts here. I also had my son when I was 18, married his dad when I was 19. So I am speaking from experience. Seriously my mind is wide open, and IMO this is tragic. The FACT are that 14, 15, year olds bodies are underdeveloped (still developing) so NO you can't 'feel' sex as a woman can. Second of all the part of your brain that assesses risk is NOT fully developed till the age of 25. Which is why teens and young adults get in more car accidents than anyone else, and why insurance is so much higher till you're 25.
I have seen so much, young mothers in shelters, with their little babies and children trying to figure out what to do with their lives, I have met ONE woman who turned her life around when her son was 10 and went and got her GED and now is working on her masters.... as a teen you cant even grasp what having a baby means. It's not an accessory. You will grow up if you have/keep a child. And you can't understand what that means right now. And I am not saying that because I am being mean, I am saying that because I am being real. People wont take you serious because you are a child, at 18 people didn't take me seriously either. "Be true to yourself"? are you kidding me, it's not about her anymore, it's about an unborn baby. She wont have a life, she wont have herself because being a mother means giving all of yourself to your child.
'Didn't use a condom because he's uncircumcised' that is some major BS. He lied. Condoms are supposed to be tight, and they make larger condoms, circumcision has nothing to do with it. My ex-husband wasn't circumcised.... You need to be honest with yourself and anyone you decided to tell, and not try to lie your way out of this, it's called responsibility = (as I have already stated) you wanted to partake in adult activities now you must act like an adult. Your parents will be pissed, they should have let you take the pill, the reality is too many kids are having sex earlier and earlier so as a parent they should have faced reality and prepared you. however you can go to the health department and get BC for free. Your parents will be your biggest supporters, and they need to be there for you just as you need to let them. You can also go to any health department in the country and get medicaid, and medicaid will pay for your abortion... not what I did, but what some of the women I have met in a shelter have done. You have your parents, these women (I went to therapy with for being in abusive relationships) have no one and I mean NO ONE. I come off mean because it angers me, you are a child, enjoy your innocence, once it's gone it's gone forever. Not my problem, but I also see kids in my son's second grade class raised by immature parents who are too involved in their own life to notice their kids, and that happens too often.
I wish you the best of luck, this is not an easy decision, certainly not one that (IMO) a child should have to make.
I'm sorry, but really? What were you guys thinking? I'm sixteen and going to be a junior and am still a virgin cause I don't want to get pregnant in high school. 13 months is to early for me. This is why i hate people between the ages of 10-18 They think they know what "love" is. we don't! It pisses me off that younger people are dating. Middle schoolers don't need to date, drink, party, or have sex! (sorry if i am coming off mean, i just need to vent) It was stupid on your part. your 14 years old. you don't need to be having sex. just get through high school. if you are pregnant or you think you are talk to your parents. they will help you through it. might be pissed or dissappointed but talk to them. They know best.
you got it! I'm glad to hear that some teens have a clue.
Good girl! I always promised myself I would have or be close to graduating high school. I lost my virginity to my best friend when I was 18 two months before graduation. It was perfect (well the sex sucked. But three years later he is the best!) But I honestly don't understand what the hell is wrong with kids. My 14 year old sister comes home with horrible stories all the time about sex, blow jobs, kids filming masturbation... It really scares me... That barely knowingly went on in High School let alone so openly in MIDDLE school. *sigh* kids are illogical.
i agree completely i'm 14 my mom just started letting me date this year i'm a freshmen i have seen way too many girls have to drop out of school becuase of teen pregnacies.you should go to the health department and get pregnicey test but you are way to young to be having sex.. i'm sorry if you think i'm being mean or rude but its the truth you need to talk to your parents about this they might be pissed or disappionted but they would probley want to hear it from you first you should be able to talk to your family about anything
omg wht were u guys thinking? i mean really u guys r like 2 young 2 be parents , and besides hes like 14 , i think u should go 2 the doctor and if u r pregnant than i think u should love tht baby cuz it is just not cool 2 be pregnant while ur 15 !
lose*
Seriously?? I lost my virginity at 15, bawled my eyes out for weeks, and now I'm 19 and in my first serious relationship, it is the one thing I regret more than anything else in the world.
Don't make excuses for yourself, you made the decision to have sex, you made the decision not to use protection, now you have to deal with the consequences of these decisions.
It's not a game, there are no in betweens. You can't hide it away under your bed and pretend it never happened. Get some support and do something about it.
Seriously?? I lost my virginity at 15, bawled my eyes out for weeks, and now I'm 19 and in my first serious relationship, it is the one thing I regret more than anything else in the world.
Don't make excuses for yourself, you made the decision to have sex, you made the decision not to use protection, now you have to deal with the consequences of these decisions.
It's not a game, there are no in betweens. You can't hide it away under your bed and pretend it never happened. Get some support and do something about it.
I lost my virginity when I was 14. I am now almost 18 and I'm the mother of a 6 month old. (don't get me wrong, being a mommy is the best thing in the world!) But BE SAFE. I had to grow up FAST and I lost my youth and freedom.
I personally, do not believe in abortions... I think babies are not a choice. If you don't think you can raise one at such a young age, (and trust me, its hard!) choose to give it up for adoption! There's so many women who cannot conceive, and adoption is their only hope, so killing an innocent child just doesn't seem fair to the baby, to you, or to potential parents. (not trying to offend anyone, this is just my personal views)
But if this is a scare, as some one already said, be careful, use contraceptives, and try to be smarter about what your doing. I know the pressures of being your age, and guys wanting you to hav sex... its hard. But just think about your future.
Anyway, good luck to you! :)
And some people are coming off a bit rude, but just take it all in, remember and consider it! :)
ok...i know ur freaking out a bit....so...what do i do when im stressed??? i pray to God. he can do anything. just ask him 2 forgive u if u truly believe u did something wrong. just pray ur not pregnant. and if it turns out that nature took over...dont lie to ur parents. they wont support u if u lie. just tell them right away. i hope that helped!!! good luck and ill keep u in MY prayers.
Thank you so much. That's exactly what I did and guess what? It worked!!!! My period started, two weeks late, but it finally started! Thanks everyone for your help.
THANK GOD! Literally! Girl... Now go to Planned Parenthood and GET ON THE PILL!!!!!! They will get you it and not tell your parents!!! And that way if you're tempted to not use a condom or it breaks and you (even though I still think you're too young) continue to have sex you'll 99.9% likely NOT get pregnant!
actually the pill is only 75% effective, so there is still a 25% chance she would get pregnant if a condom broke.
No... It's 99% effective. (If you take it correctly--eg at the right/same time every night.) All of the fallowing websites say 92-99% effective... Ugh. It really scares me how uneducated so many woman are on here! TAKE THE PILL!!! It's one of the BEST options!!! (If you have history of hormonal imbalances or blood clots PLEASE ask to have your blood tested first!!!)
--http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/birthcontrol/
--http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control/birth-control-pill-4228.htm
--http://www.healthywomen.org/content/article/modern-birth-control-methods
--http://www.teengrowth.com/index.cfm?action=info_article&ID_article=1326
--https://www.seasonique.com/difference/birth-control-comparison/?gclid=CL2IvZnkj6ICFRNZiAod8CApZQ
--http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birth_control
--http://www.contracept.org/pill.php
--http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/unintendedpregnancy/contraception.htm
--http://www.nuvaring.com/Consumer/aboutNuvaRing/compareToOtherBirthControl/index.asp?PID=0001117101000000&SRC=1
--http://contraception.about.com/od/birthcontroldecisions/p/effectiveness.htm
No... I still say it's 99% effective....
if you want a more effective contraceptive, try the implant, mind i don't know if they'll give it to you so young. But that's 90% effective; theres lots of information about it, if you need to ask planned parenthood i'm sure someone there can help you and tell you all the ups and downs of it.
if you want a more effective contraceptive, try the implant, mind i don't know if they'll give it to you so young. But that's 90% effective; theres lots of information about it, if you need to ask planned parenthood i'm sure someone there can help you and tell you all the ups and downs of it.
You really shouldn't be having sex anyway until your married..
But hey you made the decision so if you are pregnant, you should definitely except the consequences of having sex before marriage.
its your choice to wait for what ever reason religious or otherwise, so don't act all self righteous cause she decided she didn't want to wait for a ring to be on her finger. yes she was stupid not to use contraception and should have to deal with the consequences what ever she decided...even abortion. but don't stupid and assume everyone's going to wait until they're married before having sex, just cause you made the choice to wait.
hahaha. stop having sex. nimbo.
Look, I'm going to be rude, but it's for your best interest. STOP HAVING SEX. Sex that young isn't worth it, trust me. And also, thirteen months isn't all that long. Maybe if you were 30, that'd be okay, but you're 15. Give it like another two years at least. Children are expensive, as are the check ups, vitamins, etc. You were stupid to have unprotected sex. Own up to your actions. Tell your parents and you might want to go to Planned Parenthood as well. They'll help you whether you decide to abort it or keep it. You need to make a decision. You were stupid, now you have to learn to be mature. Grow up please and don't make any more stupid decisions. Thanks. (:
OK I'm gonna say just one thing..... FAIL
Dear Repliers to the question,
I mean absolutely no offense by this, but anyone who commented after the comment, 'Thank you so much. That's exactly what I did and guess what? It worked!!!! My period started, two weeks late, but it finally started! Thanks everyone for your help.' about how I should do this or that if I am pregnant is an idiot conisdering they were unable to read the comment and process the information that would make the lightbulb above their heads brighten with the idea of, 'Oh, she's not pregnant, I don't have to give any advice.' You're idiots.
To the ones who gave me advice respectfully, I thank you. I especially thank the anonymous replier who told me to pray and relieve myself of stress, that was the best advice and help me immensely.
Finally, I AM NOT PREGNANT. Please get that through your heads and stop replying to this question.
Thank you,
Poster
Cause praying killed the baby!!! and since you're having sex before marriage i bet you're oh so religious.
Please don't respond to this anymore.
And I am religious enough for myself though it doesn't concern you.
And I wasn't pregnant in the first place, so my praying killed the baby.
~Poster
I have been there and done that! I was 15 when I got prego. with my first. I am now 21 y.o. and have 4 kids of my own. I will tell you that there is more then 1 option. Have you thought about adoption? I know that it is a hard chose to make. I did it. There is so much that you can give to that child if you do that. My advice is, explore all of your options. There are several, including several adoption options. Look into everything before you make ANY decisions.
You're 15 !!!!!!!!!!!
I am almost 20 years old and have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years.
We never had sex, though we talked about it.
You're 15! You're supposed to get through high school and not having sex with ur ''bf''!
you dont even know what love is!!
you silly girl, you dont even have a developed body yet and it feels like ur ruining it. my friends got preg from the ages 16-19. i went through it with them, every step of the way.
YOU'RE GONNA REGRET IT, KID.