I was/am in a similar situation. My friend n I had been best friends since 7th grade, n when we graduated high school just this last year(class of '09) we moved intogether, as it turns out, it ruined our friendship. She moved out, n for months it seemed like we couldnt stop fighting, n she deleted me several times from her friends list. After a while we decided to take a few weeks break from each other, n we started to hang out after the break. Its a slow process, but rebuilding a friendship is always hard. You have to reconnect, n get each others trust back, which had been ruined prevously. If you really do miss her and want to be friends again, I so go for it, n email her(talking face to face is always better though). "Never let go of someone who you cannot get out of your mind. They are there for a reason.~Unknown"

I had the same sort of problem with a close friend of mine. we were so close that we'd stay with each other every weekend, do everything together and we even got identical tattoos. Eventually with university we grew apart but it didn't seem like my friend could handle it. When we saw each other at holidays, her behaviour was erractic and she seemed to have gone insane; it was as if she thought that she was losing me and was doing everything in her power to keep me. However what she was doing was unacceptable. It grew to the point where what she was doing made me so angry I couldn't speak to her but at the same time I knew that she did it through good intentions.

In the end, I sent her a long message telling her what exactly it was in my mind that had made our friendship go downhill. I told her how the way she had acted had hurt me and how I felt. She apologised when she realised how the way she had behaved had appeared to other people since I knew she hadn't understood.

She made a tremedous effort and over time we've gradually become closer to the way we were before but not as inseperable. It is a matter of time and understanding I think but there's always hope.

You have invested many years in this relationship and it seems to be a shame to throw away all your great memories. I have been in this situation before and have been the one to reach out and it has worked out great in for the most part. I would also suggest if you give her another is tell her how you feel before you move forward. It sounds silly but if you do not work on what went wrong before you will just repeat the problem. Also, let her know that you can not take the pain of losing her again and again.

On the other hand if you are not ready to be close friends with her again talk to her and make sure she understands that you do not have hard feelings for her but just can not be as close as you both once were. It is hard but sometimes no matter how much you love your friends it is better if you weren't friends. I have also learned this the hard way after give a friend many chances.

Change is hard for everyone and hopefully you will make it through.
Good Luck :)