So I've been with my bf for 3 years and I'm 21 and he's 24. For the past few months I have been craving sex like ALWAYS!!! I'm a sex machine! For the first two years we were all over each other, but since we moved in together last year, I practically have to beg him to have sex. He's always tired or just not in the mood! It even came to the point where he eventually caught me taking care of business myself.!!! I thought that would be a wake-up call for him, but nope! It's still the same! Is this normal? Or are we just drifting apart?


It's not the end of your relationship at all but you need to just get back on the same page. Try to get creative in the bedroom (maybe wear some cute lingerie). My biggest piece of advice though is to not complain about it but be proactive about changing it. I can't tell you how many of my guy friends have said it's a total turn off when the girl whines/complains about not having sex. I understand why we do it but in their minds they associate the nagging like that of their mom's which is going to be the furthest thing to get him inspired in the bedroom again.
I'm in the same position! Although we established it was because I had gained weight and he found it difficult to do different things now (as we were WAY adventurous and try everything) and he didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable. I also found out he wanted to try some stuff he was ashamed of asking about and now we are trying those things as well, which is a turn on for him. So possibly see if there is something he wants to try, but is a bit ashamed to ask about or possibly he could be comfortable about the whole situation and being around you. So sex isn't a priority to him, it's not a bad thing either. But I agree with the person above, nagging doesn't work, I did that and it got worse! It went from sex everyday, to sex once a week, and then only a couple of times a month! Also there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. I find if I do that next to him (occasionally you can feel weird about that) but he also got turned on by the "noises" that I was making! Try that with him possibly and he might just want to join in, or masturbate along side with you. But whatever you think it has nothing to do with the relationship ending, or coming to and end =)
Sometimes it happens, you hit a snag in the bedroom. Sometimes you have to sit your guy down and explain that you are not satisfied. Try getting creative. Maybe something is affecting him and making him not be in the mood. See if talking to him helps.
I guess big changes like this and moving in together can have an affect on the relationship. I think you both just need to find that spark again. He may be tired from work or whatever and trying to find a balance between himself, you, friends and family can be difficult. Maybe flirting, pampering yourself and him and making him smile will help bring it back. There doesn't always need to be penetrative sex; there can be other things too.
Moving in does affect your relationship...it shows the ugly side of marriage...and without a legal commitment...its hard to own up to til death due you part when there isnt that firm establishment. He is getting bored...and fed up...And usually sex before marriage does that...you are living the married life before the big day...and you dont have anything more to look forward to.
You need to talk to him about it makes you feel....if sex is what holding your relationship together then you should really think twice about weighing the pros and cons of what is the very essence of a relationship.
Also...i do suggest that you calm down your sexual addiction...it can turn relationships inside out and before you know it...that's what you'll look forward too more than intimacy.
Intimacy does build a feverish relationship.
When something is just given to you...you loose sight of endurance...and of the passion for truly wanting it. Waiting makes us stronger...even when it feels like were are breaking.
I am a virgin...and i personally cannot compare constant sex building a relationship...but what i can say that being strong and waiting is worth it...even if you're not a virgin...casual sex doesn't build anything...just satisfies for that one moment.
I plan to wait after marriage...and yes waiting for that right one is hard...and i too have had my share of guy troubles...I WISH you the best of luck.
Although he could be looking elsewhere or even questioning your relationship, it could also be a number of things. Maybe he really is tired due to stress somewhere in his life, guys dont let things out the way women do so their stress like much else is portrayed physically and less verbally. Really the only thing you can do is talk to him, but be careful, its easy to make guys feel like they are being attacked... talk simple and straight forward. Quite simply ask him if theres something bothering him about you or life in general, dont push or prod, let him come up with his own words. Tell him that you feel like hes no longer interested in sex with you. Hopefully this helps, I know how frustrating it can feel when you feel like your on a different page.
Just a quick update! Thanks to everyone for their replies and their advice. I finally had a talk with my bf and we discussed what was going on! And he opened up, and just told me that he was really tired from work and he just wasn't in the mood anymore. So I asked if there was anything I could do to help that...and wOOOO...did he have lots of Ideas!! haha
So basically, he just got tired of doing the first moves and needed a little of motivation. Our sex life is gotten back on track and it's even more fun! We stopped focusing soo much on HAVING to have sex, and just decided to be spontanious!
Thanks again everyone! xxxx
YAY you took my advice! =]
Just be careful girl with this relationship...ok? <3 Wish you the best of luck.