Question
How long should you make a guy wait before sleeping with him? I don't think it matters, but everyone else tells me otherwise... Are there any rules anymore?
Question
Question
How long should you make a guy wait before sleeping with him? I don't think it matters, but everyone else tells me otherwise... Are there any rules anymore?
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Honestly there's only one common sense answer, it's up to YOU. Doesn't really matter what other people say about it, since they aren't the ones doing it. I always wanted to wait awhile, but when I started dating my fiancé, I just knew it was right sooner rather than later. I made sure we had a connection other than physically, before we went there thought. You just have to do what feels right, and not listen to other people.
I like to wait. It gives me the chance to get to know them. I wait about a month, generally. That used to be two months, but hey, life is too short.
It's really up to you. I have a friend who is in the same boat. In my opinion, boys don't take her seriously because she gives it up to quick. And now she has a bad rep. And we are in our mid twenties.
I would at least wait until you are exclusive. I have heard from many boys that once they have slept with a girl, they don't take them seriously if they give it up too quick. And it has been true for my friend. Every boy she has liked that she slept with has "conquered" her and then moved on to the next. And that is why she is still single.
Unfortunately this is totally true.
I've been dating my boyfriend for a year now and we haven't had sex. I know he's more than ready and is the person I'd want to give it up to, but there's no way I'm ready. I trust him more than anyone and he's been nothing but the perfect guy for me, but I'm just not ready. I'm not on birth control and don't have access to it, so the risks involved have a big influence on that decision.
Go to your nearest planned parenthood. They can give you birth control & keep it from your parents too. No insurance required, & I just got my insurance coverage booklet in the mail.
Never forget that there's not only birth control as a method of protection (though I agree it is very practical once you go steady), there's also condoms (for you or him), spermicide... there's plenty of way to make sure you won't get pregnant... or get STDs
How long you should wait depends on you. I think you should first get to know your boyfriend well, there needs to be something else, other than attraction. If you feel he's the one you want to share it with and feel ready, then you should sleep with him, not earlier. You shouldn't feel obliged or forced in to it in any way. It's up to you and only you to decide! Don't feel guilty for making him wait for you, he should know you're worth it!
When you think you can handle the RESPONSIBILITY of sex with him. AFTER!!! You get tested WITH him. You're stupid if not, a real dummy if you do not get yourself checked and you are so idiotic if you think you don't need to and take his "word" aid. Take proper precautions, and not worry if he leaves you after sex too early or not at all.
I had sex with my bf about a month into the relationship. I'd been ready physically for ages, I had just been waiting for the right guy to give it to. He even asked me several times before we did it if I was up for it and I had to convince him that I was in fact ready. We lost our virginities to each other, and here we are almost a year into our relationship, and I still love him just as much as I did when the relationship started. Nothing has changed for the worse because of the sex, it's just made that emotional connection that much better. So...I guess what I'm trying to say here, is to do it when YOU feel you're ready. Basically what everyone has been saying on here. Hope this helps! :)
What does being "physically ready" mean? I always hear girls as young as 14 saying this. Do you mean just boobs and butt? Because if so that does not mean ready for sex, that just mean you hit puberty. I mean if a 12 year old has big hips and a nice pair of boobs, does that mean that she is "physically ready" for sex? What if a woman of 26 still has very small breast, no hips, and a very flat butt? Does that mean she is not "physically ready"? Even if she is married to the love of her life and can "mentally" handle such a big responsibility of sex?
Woah, calm down. Physically ready I would assume means that they feel it, that they know that they are ready; just a "I know this now" kind of feeling. A girl as young as 14 having sex should not be an enourmous deal, but a concern, because if they are ready then that is their decision, as long as they know what they are doing and the consequences of such. Even though I'm 16, take me for example. I know that I'm ready because I know what I'm doing. The idea of sex is ok to me, and I feel that my body can handle that, & I'm prepared to use protection to avoid pregnancy. Use your head & you will usually come out ok. Nothing is ever certain, of course.
You know Jillian, I really feel as if I can't calm down. Because there are so many girls unmarried, under aged with babies. Okay, unmarried, not that big of a deal, a lot of unmarried couples (gay/straight) can raise a child well, and a lot of unwed mothers can raise a child. But I am sure that 16 is not the ideal age to already have a child and conceive another at 20. It takes two people to make a baby because it takes two people to raise a baby, single parents are fine, but a tag team is SO much better! How many teen boys really stay to be fathers? You my dear are a very smart 16 year old, however there are not too many like you, obviously because teen pregnancy rates are sky rocketing, as well as HIV/AIDS and the other hand full of STDs are at the largest rise ever! I just hate the people who feel "their body is right" for sex when their mind is not. Educate yourself before you do any thing, it's not the 70's anymore where the pill is the only thing women can take to prevent pregnancy, it's also not the 70's where there were a few STDs and it was cured with an antibiotic shot. So many girls are so misinformed, that they end up in stupid situations, i.e. teen pregnancy, date rape drugs, and the HIV "cocktail". I'm not mad at you, I'm just mad at the girls who have been having sex for 3 years and just learned what the clit is, or the girl who stupidly got pregnant with the pull out method, or the one who does 10 jumping jacks as contraception, or even the stupid little girl who posted the thing on here about the need to go pee when really, all she was having was an orgasm. Or must we forget the other little girl who felt she was not attracted to her boyfriend because she could not have an orgasm. There are just some really bizarre stories out there from idiotic people who know nothing about what they are doing (sex) and end up in deserved negative situations. BEFORE I had sex (at 19) I studied long and hard about the consequences as well as good things, since bad out weighs good any day on sex. I went to the library, asked my mom, asked my dad, asked my brothers, friends, and to get legit for real 100% positive answers my doctor, campus nurse, as well as LEGIT sights such as the show "Talk Sex with Dr. Sue Johanson" there, she even talks about the "peeing orgasm" so when it happened I wasn't air headed enough to think, "uh oh time to go pee." Because as all sexually active people should know, you can't do both at the same time. A lot of people THINK they know what they are doing most of the time, but really don't.
In response to your comment (I'm the one who originally posted the comment you responded to), I completely understand what you mean. I'm 19, lost my virginity at 18. I knew what I was doing, as I too, had done a lot of research. I should have been more clear about that. Yes, it's sad when an underaged girl who knows nothing about sex goes and does it and then ends up pregnant. What I should have said, was when you feel ready, but also when you are educated enough about the topic to prevent disease and pregnancy.
I lost my virginity to my bf 4 months into our relationship and iv never regretted it. thats because i waited until I was fully ready. it makes such a difference waiting until your ready and not feeling pressured into it. the way i see it there is totally no rules anymore on that sort of thing its all up to you! :)
Short simple answer.... Talk to the guy about it and if you both feel ready than go for it. My bf and I started sleeping together only a month after we started dating each other because we both felt very ready to have sex. It all comes down to whether or not you are ready to go that next step.
It's completely up to you. Just make sure that when you make that chose that there is no alcohol involved.
if he loves you and respects you he will wait forever. but make sure he respects you.
I know I'm just echoing what everyone else is putting on here... but it really is down to you as an individual. No one else can tell you when you're ready, and if your guy respects you enough then he won't try to pressure you into it. With my first boyfriend I waited a month, because I trusted him and felt ready; with my second, the guy I fell totally in love with, we only waited 10 days because we were totally wrapped up in each other and it just felt right. With the guy I'm dating at the moment, we've already slept together and we're not even properly going out, but I know he adores me and isn't going to run off now we've slept together. It's all about being ready and it also depends highly on the guy - if you know, truly know, that you can trust him, then go for it, as long as you're ready! :)