Question
Tonight was my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend. He is always good to me, sweet, affectionate and really does make me feel loved....I didn't expect anything except maybe dinner and a nice card but he did nothing. I was upset and disappointed to say the least....nothing crazy but I did cry and I did tell him how I felt. He said he loves me every day and doesn't feel the need to have to make a big deal out of this one day because it's just another day. I don't want to talk about it with him any more and I know he was sorry that I was upset...I'm wondering am I wrong to want to feel special? I'm not a drama queen and like I said he's always good to me but aren't some days supposed to be special? I'm shocked that it means so little to him.
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I have heard this argument that every day is the same from a lot of guys. But you should be able to have special days to commemorate things like anniversaries if that is what makes you happy.
However, you don't have to leave it up to the guy every time. It is as much his anniversary as it is yours. Maybe you should have planned a nice dinner and gotten him a card, to make him feel special? Sometimes setting an example like that helps the guy figure out that is what makes you happy, too.
I agree with this person! Sometime you have to show the initiative so he sees what it is that you are looking for.....some men just dont think about those things! He sounds like a great guy, like he cares about you & everyday is special to him! Just show him that you'd like for anniversaries to be special by making them special for him! As long as your together it shouldnt matter who makes the night special, just that you're together!!! :)
Seconding the previous poster. Setting a positive example of expectation -- like planning something for the anniversary -- puts it in his head that this is something you care about. Some guys -are- sensitive to these things, but plenty of them aren't.
Most guys don't care about anniversaries the way girls do. They also may not remember. My boyfriend and I don't really celebrate our anniversary. We always say something on the day, but don't do much besides that. We prefer to make birthdays and holidays special. It's hard (and expensive) to have so many things to celebrate anyway. If we were married, however, that would be a different thing altogether...
Did you say anything about wanting to celebrate before your anniversary? It seems a little presumptuous to expect something if you never made mention that you would like to celebrate.
Very true, it's not fair to blame him for you expecting something that only occurs in magazine articles and chick lit. If you wanted him to remember, then you should plant little seeds in his head, to make him think it was his idea. Now he knows you're upset and probably can't see what all the fuss is about. If he's the same about your birthday, then you perhaps have to make him wise up and see that it's good to make a fuss, or plan a special evening and let him know you expect some kind of special fuss.
Honestly...that's what the male population has arose to be...unsympathetic and unromantic...Its so horrible how love is tarnished so profusely as a trend. If you don't have a bf you are an outsider...and apparently always going to be the third wheel... But regardless some men don't take their relationships seriously- and we let them get away with it.
Back in the day men had to court a girl in order to win her affection. He would do everything out of respect...and such...and he would WOO her...basically. Men aren't about that anymore...its sex...sex...sex...and women are the same as well.
USUALLY- once sexual activity is obtained...the wooing dies down...You need to distance yourself from him...and be dependent on achieving things you need to take care of. Focus on your dreams...so many women set aside their dreams for a stupid boy...
Don't fuss over this year thing thinking you aren't important enough...cuz you are. Men just need to learn that love shouldnt be taken for granted..and that a simple flower order to our front doors should be something they need to be doing...
I learned that in my last relationship...my ex never...appreciated me..heck it'd be hook ups twice a week....and it went on too long til i realized that i was being v ery dependent on him to make me feel happy.