Question
Could you ever forgive someone who's cheated on you? It sounds a silly, and rather simple question. If someone cheats on you, then leave them. They've disrespected you, betrayed your trust, so you should leave, right? Well here's my dilemma. My boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me last month after taking MDMA. He NEVER touches drugs - not saying that naively, he honestly doesn't.
I was in France for a wedding so away from the country, and he went to a gig in London with his friends. That night, he took MDMA and kissed a girl whilst on the trip, then got home and added her on Facebook. He lied to me about it, and I only found out by reading their chat over Facebook (I actually watched the whole thing unfold right infront of my eyes). He denied it, then eventually admitted it. I have a strict rule that if you cheat, you get kicked to the curb. However, he's doing everything to make it up to me, and I don't know what to do. Things are fine for a few days, we get on well, then we argue and I bring it up. If I stay with him I don't know how to move on. Any suggestions would be great as I'm struggling with my head and my heart right now.
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Ok I know I replied on FB, but I didn't read the actual post first.
Firstly: he only kissed her? And this isn't some sort of long term relationship he is having with her either? No other problems in this area?
I say chalk it up to being human and call it a day honestly. If you want to talk to me more about my reasons why, I would be happy to talk to you privately.
Good luck!!
If you are bringing it up every time you argue it's eating at you. If you can't let that go and 'forgive and forget' then you are doomed as a couple. I have been there. My ex was cheating on me for 8 years of our 10 yr relationship. I found out about the first 5 years of him cheating after I left him. We tried to make it work for the sake of our 3 children, but the strain was too much.
Try relationship counseling. Not only will it help you as a couple, but it may help you learn to move on from the cheating or even to leave him. I tried the counseling and even told my ex "If you don't attend you are telling me it's over" He didn't attend and I had the counseling session on my own. That was the point I decided he wasn't worth me. I left him and am now happily married with someone who treasures me and treats me so well. As women we put up with more than we need to, but when you open to other possibilities it is amazing what becomes available.
Hope everything works out for you.
Honestly, dealing with a cheating boyfriend is not at all that easy. I grew up with a broken family because my dad had kids all over. He is now 51 and my mom left him only 6 years ago and she is STILL having a hard time. Thing is, the longer you let something eat you up, the harder it will be for you to make it stop. A kiss is a kiss now, but what about next time? Some people find it easy to forgive a cheating boyfriend but in my case, my dad has 2 women on the side now and some other kids I haven't met, so if someone cheats on me they are out of the picture.
It's up to you to trust him and give him a second chance but believe me, a SECOND chance is all you need, if it happens again and he keeps chatting the girl up he is probably hiding intimate feelings he had with the kiss which makes him attached to her. That there is already a red light honey. Good luck.
dont sacrifice your morals, if your going to keep him make him sorry and work his butt off, coz a kiss this time yeah but he also added her on facebook lied bout it n from sounds it had a cheeky chat with her so he needs to be put in line or kicked out!
To me having her being on his FB is like reliving it all over again, have you asked him if he would delete her and never speak to her again in sake of saving your relationship? If not, then you know he isn't worth it, if he does, then actions speak louder than words! You are the only person that knows how strong you are to forgive him, forgetting will be the hardest but if you work on it and he is worth it then try too....GL and hugs!
To me having her being on his FB is like reliving it all over again, have you asked him if he would delete her and never speak to her again in sake of saving your relationship? If not, then you know he isn't worth it, if he does, then actions speak louder than words! You are the only person that knows how strong you are to forgive him, forgetting will be the hardest but if you work on it and he is worth it then try too....GL and hugs!
i don't think i could ever go on with the relationship. It would be there hanging over my head forever. And I couldn't trust him anymore. It would be in the back of my head "what if he does it again, what if he's doing it now" .. etc But that's just me. You have to decide for yourself. I wish you much luck!