First off, and I really don't want to sound too insensitive here, what in the world are you still doing with this guy in your life? He should have been gone YEARS ago. It's going to hurt. It's going to be hard. Get yourself some good girlfriends, a gallon of ice cream, some man hating chick flicks(or horror movies) and have a good long cry. Seriously. Then, after that, hit a strip club. This guy is no where near worth your time and/or energy. You are much better than that.

Also, just a suggestion, you may want to try doing some esteem building exercises. Try writing a list of 10 positive things about yourself and posting them next to the mirror. When you get up in the morning(BEFORE you do your make-up) look in the mirror and repeat them to yourself. EVERY morning. Make a new list every couple of weeks. Make a list of all the things you want out of a relationship and then be the person you want. You have got to develop a healthy relationship with yourself before you will ever have a healthy relationship with anyone else.

You deserve better. Move on

Oh gosh I feel your pain. I was in a similar situation, minus the friend. He just cut me off out of the blue one day. NO contact. We weren't fighting or anything. I find out 2.5 months later that he had met someone else and knew I wouldn't be able to handle him not loving me or some bullcrap. He was simply a coward and didn't want to face actually breaking up with me for the dozenth time and this time having somewhat of a legitimate reason...

I don't know what to tell you really. It has only been three months and I was pretty much home bound the whole time for various reasons including the depression.

Just know it is not you. It is not about you at all. It's about him. Forgive yourself of whatever you are beating yourself up about. Shoulda woulda coulda. Nothing would have changed the outcome. If it wasn't that, it would have been something else, trust me.

Take him off the pedestal you have him on for one. I know you are recalling the good times, but remember how he made you feel like crap and know you deserve better.

I would suggest a book: The Four Agreements. It's pretty powerful. And if you can get any of Oprah's Lifeclass episodes, that would also be good I think. They have helped me immensely. And a site called 'Baggage Reclaim'. And I have also hired a life coach.

I still cry every day at least once. It doesn't last long anymore though. I cry because the man I loved doesn't exist anymore, if he did at all. The man I loved would never have hurt me in such a way.

And I know that 'letting go' and 'just move on' is easier said than done. I've done an incredible amount of research on how to do both and no one really tells you HOW do they? They just tell you do do it.

Again: it isn't about YOU, it's about HIM. Forgive yourself. I know part of the problem is the shame you feel for putting up with this for so long. 'Forgiveness is letting go of the idea that the past could be any different'. Take it as a lesson, hold your head high and take it 10 mins at a time.

Good luck, my heart goes out to you.

Omg, girl i think you should realize, that he causes you more harm then happiness.
also in my opinion, you're telling it's your on/off boyfriend. I think if you guys cared enough for each other there was no on/off switch thingy. it may sound a bit harsh, but i think you should try to forget him, erase him in your life and so on. I'm sure you will think you're not able to do that. But i've been there before. And it took me around 3-4months to get over my ex. and I'm actually very glad that i'm over him. So if i can do it. YOU CAN DO IT TOO!
go girl!

also, it's really understandfull that you don't want to be friends anymore with her, i guess eventually you guys respected each others decision.