Okay, so I am constantly being ridiculous about relationships. I have major commitment issues which I am trying to force myself through. They are mainly derived from my mothers history of abusive and controlling relationships that she has been in constantly and I am so frightened of being in a relationship that I am not happy that for years I have shunned "relationships" and just had casual flings. For the last 8/9 months I have been with a guy and for the first time I've felt really comfortable and actually believe I've fallen in love...that's a first! The other night he told me he loved me and even though I feel great about it etc I still won't let him get very close. My wall is constantly up and the niggling thought that it is only a matter of time before he cheats because, well in a nutshell, I'm a nightmare to be with! There have been so many nicer, smarter, prettier and sexier women than me who have all been cheated on so it's only a matter of time before I am! The only way I've prevented this in the past is, like I said, I haven't done "relationships"! Why can't I just be happy!!?