You should be yourself. It sounds a little like you are trying to change yourself just to please a guy. That's not how love is. If someone truely loves you, woudn't you want someone to love you for who you really are? Then you wouldn't have to worry about which of you attitudes they prefer. And If it really is love, then sure, you change, but it is because you two grow together and you do it without really realizing that it is happening. Love is tricky and hard to understand... like men are. Women and men can never fully understand one another, and that is ok. Women are emotional, I know that I really am.
You need to let your true self show, because when he sees it (and if not him, then a man worthy of your love later on) you are going to shine! I know that it can be a little embarrassing to be yourself, but it is a lot easier than living your life forcing yourself to have a certain image!
If he loves you, then he should love you for everything that you really are, and if he doesn't like that, then clearly he doesn't love you. I know it sounds harsh, but why be with someone who could never love the real you?

I agree. You have to be true to yourself. I believe that changing for the sake of love is a good thing, but if it's a bad change--and I mean that it makes YOU unhappy--then it's not worth it. You have to consider both of your happiness when you make a change for the relationship. If changing works, then it works, but if it doesn't, then it doesn't. If he didn't except you for exactly who you were, well, I can see how keeping a wall up would make him do that, but then complaining that you've changed when that's what he wanted of you? It sounds like he doesn't want to be with you, but rather the version of you he's dreamed up in his head. That's another thing. It's possible that he only likes the idea of you and him and the idea of you and how you could be, but when you don't deliver it that's when he shows that he doesn't like how you've "changed." It's really a very difficult thing to grasp and to give advice about.

My boyfriend and I are currently on the road to break up, and I know it's happening we just need to talk more about it and get everything settled before we split, but it's for this same sort of reason: he's trying to change me. At first, I thought that he was right and I was wrong and there was something so wrong with me because he was so stuck on this idea, he's been stuck on this idea of having me be a certain way from the beginning. Now, at first I liked his idea and I set a goal to be more like the version he wanted of me, and for a while it worked and I was fine with it. But then I noticed that I started getting really angry at him over little things and only recently I discovered why I had that anger in me: it was because he was trying to change me into someone else. When I finally came to this realization we had a big fight and decided that we needed to break up, but talk about it all first in a calm manner. The thing is that while he likes who I am, he doesn't really love the real me, the person that I really am; he only loves the idea of what I could be and what he wants me to be, and that's why he's tried to change me so many times. I've finally decided that enough is enough and I can't be with someone that doesn't accept and appreciate me for exactly who I am. I love him. I'm in love with him still, and even though I know that losing him is going to hurt like hell because I care about him waaaaay too much--maybe more than I should for all for all of the crap that he's put me through--I know that it's right for me and it needs to be done.
You have to love yourself first in order to allow someone else to love you and have a good relationship with them. Once you enter in, some change might be necessary to better fit yourselves together, little changes maybe, but whoever your with should love you no matter what--they don't always have to like you--but they should be able to love you no matter who you are and they should accept you just as you are and appreciate everything that you have to offer, which, even though I don't know you, I believe is a lot.

Sometimes it's hard to let that wall down, I know. I have one too. I had that same care-free attitude for fear of getting hurt or getting too attached, I let down my wall for my boyfriend and I did change A LOT. I got a lot more emotional and clingy and he had a big problem with that as well, so I started to watch myself, monitor myself, I tested it out and saw that he liked certain kinds of attentions over others and that's how I stopped being "clingy" and the thing is that we're going to be ending soon here, but I don't regret taking that wall down. Being with him taught me a lot about life and a lot about love and a lot about myself. I lost myself being with him because I tried to be what he wanted, but that's just now how a relationship should work. That's not how they become successful. You have to stay true to yourself, sure, have a little flexibility, but don't break yourself just to stay with the person, especially if they don't make you happy anymore and all you do is fight. Sometimes, it's just not worth it. And it's not giving up or giving in, it's seeing things for what they are and making a choice to do what's best for you, for both of you.

Just be you and if he can't accept you for who you really are, then he doesn't deserve to have you and you deserve much much better than him. Good luck, anon. I hope it all works out for you. 8]