Question
I need help!! So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months and we tend to mess around a lot, haha. We're very much in love & I couldn't ask for someone better... We had sex for the first time yesterday & it was also my first time EVER. We were seriously in the mood & I asked him to go get one of his condoms and he kept asking me if I was sure & I kept telling him I was pretty sure that I was ready.. I thought I was. Not only was it super painful (and I didn't bleed...?), but right after I cried. I've heard this happens often with girls but he felt really bad. He keeps blaming himself for not telling me no but I know I can't blame him. Anyway, my point is, is it normal to feel this way? Is it normal for it to be so painful? Wasn't I supposed to bleed?
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Yes, it's perfectly normal for sex to be painful your first time. As for the bleeding, it depends on the girl and her body. I didn't bleed my first time, though I fully expected to. I remember it hurting a lot my first time, but it got easier after a few more times. One way that helps a little bit is if someone (either you or him, whichever feels right for you) uses their fingers to loosen you up a little bit before he goes inside you. You might also want to try using some lubrication so that there isn't too much friction.
One thing I must mention though that if you've had sex several times and it doesn't stop hurting a lot, you might want to see a gynecologist just to make sure everything is okay down there. (You should begin seeing a gyno regularly when you become sexually active anyway.) It's going to hurt the first few times, but it should stop after that.
As for the emotional trauma, that will get a lot easier too, once some time passes and it becomes less painful. When you think you're ready to try again, explain to him that you were in a lot of pain the first time, but you'd like to try again. Unless you have any health problems that were possibly causing the pain, sex will eventually become much more enjoyable for you and your boyfriend.
Good luck! :)
Thank you soo much! This really helps you have no idea!! I will talk to him about it and make an appointment for the lady doctor right away!! Thanks again! :)
I bled and had cramps for about 12 hours after losing my virginity. Nothing to major, but it was there. Bleeding is perfectly normal, but if it continues for several days that is something you definitely want to get checked out. And pain is also very normal. I didn't experience to much, but one of my friends find its so painful that she is yet to fully have sex.
In my experience, sex was painful for the first two times, for the first couple minutes of each time. As you continue things will definitely get better! Good luck!
Bahahahaha! It's totally normal! I cried DURING my first time- imagine how embarassing that was! Yeah, it hurt and I bled a little too but if you don't it's not a big deal. It could mean that your hymen was already broken by something like stretching, dance, or a sport. So long as you guys used protection and you were both ready, everything is peachy keen.
thanks so much again this advice really helps!