Question
The other night my boyfriend and I were talking about whether or not guys and girls can just be friends. I think it obviously depends on the two people but I think it's possible for a guy and a girl to have a platonic relationship. However, he completely disagreed with me saying no way but then I pointed out the fact that one of his close friends is a girl who's married & he's known for years and trust me there's nothing between them so he kinda changed his opinion on it. But I'm just curious what you ladies think... Can a girl and a guy just "be friends"?
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most definately.
some of my best friends are gguys, and i Know there's nothing going on there
of course a guy and girl can just be friends!!!
Definitely. I've had a couple really good guy friends for years and years and we've never had feelings for each other.
~My boyfriend showed me this website that explains exactly why men and women cannot be "just friends" I will warn it will make any female slightly mad- but I think everyone should read this. http://www.laddertheory.com/. Hope this helps!!~
wow that website is fucked up...never have I seen that much seriously sexist bullshit that has been tried to be justified by a "scientific" perspective.
Love the way he insults and then expects for us to take him seriously
Yeah seriously. Yeah maybe those charts and stuff count for some superficial, materialistic, shallow and petty woman. But the majority of woman are not like that. I dont love my boyfriend for ANY of those reason and we have been together for two years. Thats the most rediculous thing I have ever read.
I agree its fucked up but it does have aslight point. When you first meet someone you subconsiously assess them. If they get a high rating then you think about them and potentially go out with them. If they dont rate high enough then you dont think about it again, and you become friends. Its the same for all people (and for the most part subconsious).
As for can guys and girls be friends. YES!! Even if one is attracted to the other they can be friends. Everyone is attracted to more than one person in this world, so there is no reason why you cant have attractive friends, as long as it stays that way.
As for your BFs reaction, I think he may be attracted to his female friend on some level but wont say so to you as it may make you uncomfortable, or not trust him enough to spend time with her.
My BF has a best friend who is female. They went out years ago for a couple of weeks, but it didnt work out. I know he is attracted to her, but also know that she isnt interested as she thinks things are better as friends. As I have been with him for over a year now, I have gotten to know his friend quite well, and we get along great. I admit when I first met her I was a bit paranoid and jelous, and they both predicted this, so he didnt spend as much 'alone' time with her as they would normally. Now he still asks if its ok if he goes over in case im PMSing or have heard rumours etc.
Basically if a guy can be trusted he can have female friends, however there are a few guys that have problems keeping their pants on at the slightest sign of attraction. Its all to do with the individual.
My goodness, what an absolute load of crap!
Slightly mad? It is a serious pile! If your boyfriend believes it, I feel sorry for you. It makes women out to be gold-digging whores. Does any woman want to be called that?
Why are you dating someone who feels like everyone's emotions are so shallow? I mean, jesus, that site is ridiculous.
I have never been in a relationship where power or money, or even physical attractiveness was the main priority. Yes, I think there are women who look for rich men as a means for living, but I don't think that is the majority of women by any means.
As for the actual ladder theory, that's bullshit. There are too many exceptions to the rule, even to say 'the exception proves the rule.'
As for the actual question presented, I think men and women have a great possibility of being friends. More of my friends are male than female. Only three of them have ever had any intention of dating me, but we got through that fairly unscathed, and remain friends to this day. You just have to realize when you want to be friends with someone, or when you want to be more with them.
What a load of crap!! This site (girlsguideto) is about women empowering women to lead more fulfilled lives by giving advice that is honest and true and you post this!!
I got, maybe halfway through the "Ladder Theory" before i couldnt take anymore, and the following is an extract so the following ladies that may want to read it dont waste their time:
"Novelty - Let's face it, if you're like every other guy who works a normal job and tries to live a good life, you're probably like just about every other guy. Chicks don't dig this, and why would they? Who wants someone who is just like everyone else? Something different is more attractive. Like someone who does not have to work during the day like most people because they have lots of money from business or selling drugs. Or like someone who has stabbed a man and went to prison for it. Different and a veritable ticket to getting laid."
For goodness sakes, let us empower eachother to lead successful and happy lives without BS like this!! Let us share real life experiences that relate, let us enrich our lives with funny antidotes and take part in the glory that is to be female!
To answer the question that was posted - yes it is possible for males and females to be just platonic friends - 3 of my 5 closest friends are male, and I cherish each of their friendships as I do my girlfriends - and there has never been anything sexual between us.
*Live life, love honestly and speak freely*
What a load of crap!! This site is about women empowering women to lead more fulfilled lives by giving advice that is honest and true and you post this!!
I got, maybe halfway through the "Ladder Theory" before i couldnt take anymore, and the following is an extract so the following ladies that may want to read it dont waste their time:
"Novelty - Let's face it, if you're like every other guy who works a normal job and tries to live a good life, you're probably like just about every other guy. Chicks don't dig this, and why would they? Who wants someone who is just like everyone else? Something different is more attractive. Like someone who does not have to work during the day like most people because they have lots of money from business or selling drugs. Or like someone who has stabbed a man and went to prison for it. Different and a veritable ticket to getting laid."
For goodness sakes, let us empower eachother to lead successful and happy lives without BS like this!! Let us share real life experiences that relate, let us enrich our lives with funny antidotes and take part in the glory that is to be female!
To answer the question that was posted - yes it is possible for males and females to be just platonic friends - 3 of my 5 closest friends are male, and I cherish each of their friendships as I do my girlfriends - and there has never been anything sexual between us.
*Live life, love honestly and speak freely*
No, -.-' Usually someone ends up with feelings for the other, and if they do they prob wont admit it.
agreed, this is so true.
ye if they wont admit it does it matter??
Eventually, sure.
But I believe at one point or another, one will fall for the other. For the most part, not at the same time.
But they'll both get over it with, "S/he's my best friend" or something and it'll stay with friendship.
Yeah of course you can - most of my friends are guys and there's really no feelings between us, and I've known them for aaages x
skdffkgfj that theory. Thanks for giving every girl ever nightmares
Definately... I mean if you try really hard then yes you can, but you gotta be careful not to flirt with them too much, because either party could start to get feelings and then being friends is so hard since one person wants it to be so much more... If there's no physical attraction at all then i think it's totally possible, but it's hard to find a guy who just wants a friend who's a girl.
I thought this was possible until my best (male) friend admitted he's had feelings for me for 3 years since we met >.< FML.
So ordinarily I would have said yes but due to recent circumstances, no. I think feelings appear natuarally from one party or another. You just need to hope that they disappear.
Absolutely! I hate when girls think otherwise. I don't like every guy friend I have, and guys don't like every girl they see. You can find someone to be physically attractive without being actually attracted to them. Some of my closer friends are guys, and I've never felt any sort of romantic feelings towards them. So yes, they can be JUST friends. It's really not that hard to imagine or believe.
I think in some cases guy & girls can be just friends...
In others I think either the girl falls for the guy or vice versa.
I believe that guys and girls can just be friends. As for developing feelings, well, sure I think my guy friends are attractive and they're great guys but that doesn't mean I like them in any other way then friendship. I also think it depends on your relationship status. If a girl has a boyfriend with whom she is happy with then it is doubtful she is going to like her guy friends. Not to mention if both the guy and the girl who are friends, have a boyfriend or girlfriend who they are both happy with and love, then it's not likely they are going to fall for each other.
Absolutely. I have a way to separate the platonic relationships from the romantic interests. Any guy friend who I have no romantic interest in is automatically called a brother. And you have no idea how good it is to know I have over a half dozen brothers, and how safe I feel.
1st....dat site sucks!!...so dumb!!.....n 2nd....if u r ina huge grup it works but int...dne most likely not....
n i wud liek 2 add dat if u'r bst frnd does rally like u while u dnt like him bk....ur life bcomes living hell!!
jealous, insecure men do not believe that their significant other can have male friends who are truly just friends. my ex was like that, i could hardly look at another guy without him flipping out so having male friends was out of the question. come to find out he was jealous & insecure cause he was cheating on me.
now i'm with an amazing guy who is not threatened at all by my male friends, in fact, he's become friends with them too :)
I used to think that guys can be friends with girls but that kinda went out the window when my fiance decided he would reather be with his friend than me....I like what becky has said though, especially about being with a great guy now!
I thought this untill about 8 months ago.....
my best friend is a guy, we've been bffs for 3 years and counting now, and in may he revealed that he's had feelings for me for two years.
now, I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, of course, we've been dating for 2 months now and I'm the happiest I've ever been. I love our relationship, it's almost like we were made for each other, he already knows everything about me, so there's no awkwardness about secrets and stuff.
I'm just saying that it can be true in some cases, and if it isn't true, it's not necessarily a bad thing :)
Definatly ! MOST of my best friends are guyss, ive dated a couple, but it never lasted long because there was nothing theree, and im also still really good friends with all my exes,
Yes, BUT
at one point one of them will develop a slight crush and it may grow or just fade away
that ladder theory thing is pure shit!
and guys and girls can be friends, and if they both like each other in that way, it will probably just improve their relationship to have had that friendship.
I KNOW men can be friends with women. One of my best friends is a guy and he's in a happy relationship with another of my best friends. He also happens to be friends with all the other girls in our little group of friends and there's nothing between any of us, except friendship. None of us could fancy him, because we know him far, far too well! :D
I KNOW men can be friends with women. One of my best friends is a guy and he's in a happy relationship with another of my best friends. He also happens to be friends with all the other girls in our little group of friends and there's nothing between any of us, except friendship. None of us could fancy him, because we know him far, far too well! :D
I think that men and women can be friends, normally (in my opinoin) when the girl or boy is a close mutual friend of both partner's in the relationship.
Yes. Guys and girls can be just friends but in that close proximity feelings may arise, even if it's only for a minute. It's happened to me in pretty much every friendship I've had with a guy :P
yeah I do believe that guys and girls can be just friends.
on another note that site about the whole "ladder" theory is complete garbage.
"There are some interests you can show in a woman that will help you to f**k her: a healthy interest in destroying her self-esteem and in fucking her friends more than her seem to work wonders." This is not what women want. I can't believe a site like this exists, how wasteful trying to tell women and men how they should act towards each other.