Question
People always tell you to follow your heart, but they never tell you what to do if it doesn't work out like you planned. I met this guy, Matt, about a year ago and I swear that I fell for him instantly. We talked and I suspected he liked me back but I never really knew. Then I met his best friend, Daniel. He was so great with girls. You know those guys, completely charming and funny and attractive. He made me feel really special and beautiful. We went on a date and it was amazing. He actually didn't even know that I knew Matt until I told him. But he didn't know about the feelings that were there. Until he talked to Matt. Matt didn't come out and tell him, but Daniel told me that he could tell Matt really liked me. A couple days later, Daniel asked me what was holding me back from dating him and I broke down and told him the truth, that I couldn't let go of my feelings for his best friend. He was totally understanding at first. But a few days later he told me I had to make a choice: him or Matt. My friends all told me to go for Daniel. Matt had months to make a move and didn't. Daniel was actually telling me he wanted me. I knew that it would be easier with Daniel. Easier to see him (since they both go to a different school) and everything would fall into place with him. I wasn't even sure Matt felt the same way. I agonized over it for a few days until I realized that it wasn't even a contest. All along my heart held onto Matt. I thought of him after every cute text and during every kiss with Daniel. It wouldn't be fair to anyone if I chose Daniel. So I followed my heart. I chose Matt. I'm not sure if he ever even knew about any of this. A month later, after many long months of never knowing, Matt finally admitted he had strong feelings for me. I don't know why, but nothing ever really happened. I think it's because maybe we're both too shy. I just found out through my best friend that he likes another girl. Not only that, but he just thinks I'm "hot." I wasn't aware that we were supposed to be moving on. He hasn't talked to me. I'm having so much trouble accepting any of this. Especially the fact that he may have lied about everything he said. I followed my heart and it didn't work for me. And I still can't even let go. Any advice or words? Coping? Letting go?
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things happen and people change. you followed your heart, but maybe matt didnt. maybe he had his own reasons for what he did.
Personally i think you should just get over it. Its not a big deal. Matt turned out to be a loser. You live and learn.
Youll find someone else eventually, so just keep your eyes open : )
as the last person said, you followed your heart, but maybe matt just decided not to. if it were me, i would just take a step back from guys till you feel like you are ready to try again. i mean, you might learn something that you didn't know before.
sweetie i completly understand. i dated this guy totally in love with him. he cheated. a couple months after i broke up with him i started talking to this guy who was a friend of my ex's. i dated the new guy, liked him and all but he didnt compare to my ex. so that didnt work out. so now im without both of them. keep in mind i never got back with the guy who cheated because love shouldnt hurt. i know it may seem really hard now and like maybe u made a mistake but the bottom line is good for you for following your heart. you want to be with a guy that ur crazy for and a guy who is crazy for you.
keep following your heart as long as ur not compromising what you think you deserve in a relationship and u will get everything you want.
the girls that arnt satisfied in relationships is because they dont follow there heart and because they stay in relationships where there getting emotionally hurt in one way or another.
so ill say it again good for you hun.
you'll find the right guy for you :)
you followed your heart because your heart is always right. but just because you followed your heart doesn't necessarily mean it'll get the results that you WANT. That's what love is all about! Taking chances, taking leaps. I agree with what the first person said. You followed your heart and Matt was in your heart. Unfortunately you werent' in Matt's heart. That sucks and that hurts. But that's life. You pick yourself up and move on =] You'll follow your heart again and you'll get hurt again but eventually you'll find someone who will take a leap on YOU. =]
When you find real love, it will be unexpectedly. You can't look for it, it is evasive. And when it is here, you will know. Until then, those who come in your life, whether real love or not, are stepping stones that will teach you what you need to know. But you must have the eyes open to see, the ears focused to listen, and your heart open to feel what the world has to offer you. Whether in Love or Hate or anything else, life is a lesson and lessons are the gifts that move you forward. It is okay that you cannot get let go yet. Take this time for yourself now, and let the past flow from you freely, for it will eventually. The more you force something, the more it will resist. It is the law of nature. Understand that it was what it was; that you cannot change it, and you are probly better off for it. You are not wrong to feel the way you have and the way you do now. Time heals all wounds and teaches many things. If you remember this, you can make better choices for your future, relationships and all :) ~JP