I think you should wait ... don't tell him how you feel. Because you could ruin what you have with him .... and friendship is worth waaay more than any other relationship out there ! You may not get another friend like him ever again ... trust me :)

This might not be what you wanna hear but I think you should talk to him about it, and I think if he doesn't have feelings for you then you should just leave. It's sounds like it's just eating you alive loving him and having him give you hope, only to take it all back like all the time. Trust me, it's better off to just leave, after hearing what he has to say.

i'm in an extremely similar situation...it's kinda scary lol.
i dated this guy in 7th grade and i was very depressed and had an eating disorder so i was a super downer and on top of that, i was pretty clingy and obsessive. so he broke it off at the beginning of 8th grade. then, towards the end of 8th grade and all throughout summer, we started texting like crazy. when we were dating, i would be the one to always text him first and he didn't really like texting me that much. but once summer started, he was always texting me! it was funny to me. so anyway, one time he texted me saying he had a sexual dream about me even though he hadn't seen me since we graduated. and then eventually we started texting about hanging out. (keep in mind while all this crap is going on, he's now dating my best girl friend. that just makes it even weirder). so eventually, he comes to my house and we're planning to celebrate because i just got back from vacation in italy. he brought some tequila and idk what else and his gf was supposed to come later but we were already a bit drunk by the time she got there. and she was high. (btw it's apparently very annoying to be high around drunk people lol) and i don't remember much from that day except that right before his gf came, he said "this is probably the tequila but i really wanna kiss you right now". good thing we didn't lol. well after that, we started hanging out without his gf. he invited me to the beach with some family and he kissed my cheek in the water and was holding me up the whole time because he's really tall and i'm shorter than him by a foot. and so at first, i was like "no, be a good boy" but i was actually happy that this was happening. when he brought me home, he kissed my lips. that's where it all started. we soon began having dates and things and we grew more intimate. then one time he brought me downtown with his dad and we hung out in this park all night. (wasn't a trashy park, it had a fountain and big illuminated arch, and everyone was playing music) and so he said "you know, i'm cheating on my girlfriend...but i don't really feel bad about it. i feel like she's girlfriend 1 and you're girlfriend A. and then he asked me how i felt. i kinda changed the subject but yeah i was happy. later, i broke up with my boyfriend because i didn't feel like cheating on him and we weren't really connecting anyway. then after that, i started hanging out with my best girl friend again and she was telling me about how she wanted to dump her boyfriend. so i urged her along. not just because i wanted him, but because her reasons were good and because in actuality he was cheating on her and she could do much better. so then this one night like last week, he tells me that he had sex with someone and he didn't want me to breathe a word about it. so i didn't say anything, but the next morning i felt like i had to tell my best girl friend. so i did. and she dumped him right away and he got EXTREMELY pissed at me and wanted me out of his life and all this. this made me feel like crap since he gave such a shit about her. but so eventually he cooled down and i asked him about hanging out soon. and now he expects me to give him my virginity as reperations for "what i did". i'm thinkin, "if you really loved her, you wouldn't have done that to her. and why would you tell me about it? that would only make me jealous if not tell your girlfriend."
so....yeah....at this point, i'm not sure what i should do. but i just felt like spilling my guts and showing you you're not alone. he doesn't really have any intention of getting back together with me either.

my advice is to be straight up with him. thats the best thing you can do when conversing with a guy. because most of the time they don't take hints and they don't like girls being indirect either. just ask him everything you want to know, even if you're scared. it's better to find out truth you don't want to hear then just floating around hoping everything is what you want it to be. so ask him whatever you want to know, and tell him how you honestly feel. and make it clear that you're not weak or stupid and you're not gonna continue pleasing him in this way if he's just using you. you never know, he might say something really really touching and heartfelt. it's happened to me before. good luck :)

I think its really wonderful to be with someone that you can be bestfriends with... So maybe.. just my opinion, that he does feel the same way about you but just afraid to commit.. or you know some guys are just afraid to be "in" a relationship, because of responsibilities and such, or maybe he's just afraid of something of whatever you have done in the past that freaks him out..that might happen again... So why don't you be honest with him about your feelings and tell him that you're not playing a game, but doesn't mean that you're gonna push him to do something that he is not ready of and give him time to think about it...... then maybe you can decide on what to do after that... btw, If he is really a friend he would care about your feelings, otherwise... you know the answer....

Wow tough situation. If he’s your only best/ good friend you need other friends. You can’t count on only one person for all your emotional support. He is sending you mixed signals. The intimacies (not intercourse) are misleading, they are giving you hope. If it was just casual sex, no handholding etc. it would be clearer. If he can’t commit or doesn’t want more he needs to stop sending these signals. So you can stay in the land of denial and hope he realizes that you two have a good relationship that could be taken to the next level. Or you can face the issue and risk loosing him.

If you don’t face the issues you will be left exactly where you are, in limbo, with no answers, and passing up any other opportunities that come your way. Allowing worry, want, and fear to control your life. If he has been clear on his feelings for you, that your only friends with benefits, I’d say stop it. Let him decide what he wants from you. You’re fulfilling all his needs but denying your own. That’s not healthy. If he’s been honest with you how shattered will you be when he ends it? So waiting around and hoping isn’t an answer. Just ask him in a clear non-confrontational manner.

For a relationship to work it needs to be a two way street, and people change, needs change. There is nothing wrong with that. So I’d say take the risk tell him, if he balks explain your confusion. But be prepared for change; establish some healthy behaviors and boundaries for yourself.

Don’t forget that you are a wonderful person that you deserve whatever type of relationship YOU want. If he can’t provide that there is no shame on either one of you.

It sounds like he is using you. He wants to be sexual but doesnt want to commit and he says being sexual with you means nothing to him? That sounds like an aweful friend! I understand how you say you don't have anyone else, so try to only hang out with him in public places only so you don't have to be physical. If he is uncomfortable he's only in the "friendship" for the wrong reasons. It's hard just to make new friends, as I'm doing this now and I feel a bit out to sea with no one truely there for me but my mom. However, make it a priority to branch out. If you are not in school to join a new club, volunteer at a local organization! It takes time, but meeting new people will make you less dependent on this user.

Just like being with you, my girl^^ I feel the same as you do.

Hey girl, usually i don't like to give my own experiences in advice...but this one seems to be pretty close to something i am dealing with at the moment.

I too have had a crazy crush on my best friend. We never dated...but after a reuinion of a four year absence during high school...we hung out at his house to play chess and to talk.
Before i knew it..we were making out on his bed..at 2 am..nothing happend thankfully cuz i set boundaries for myself.

But..the first thing he told me as we got up was..."Dont fall in love with me, not yet." I was hurt..who wouldn't be? Kissing to me was..something deep. So anyway, we hung out a lot..we kissed a few times more..until i realized that being friends was seriously all he wanted. I told him i didn't want to kiss him anymore, and he understood.

We became closer...talked about serious things..and hung out a lot...and i still was in love with him. It got so bad that i would be up at night thinking about him..thinking about all the stupid things i've done wrong..all the things i could of done..IT WAS AN OBSESSION. A secret obessession.

Anyway...i always thought to myself maybe he will come around and tell me he loves me...like ask me out...maybe if I just waited a bit longer..and endured as his friend..he will see the potential and amazing traits of myself..and fall in love with me.

Turns out...He still wanted to be friends EVEN after 4 months of waiting I did. And that's not the worst part...HE LIKES MY FRIEND. So that hurts.

The cheat cheat version is...don't waste your time hoping he will change and suddenly fall in love with you. Don't give him what he wants if he's not willing to commit. Sure there are times when i just want to grab him and kiss him hard..But i have to remember that isn't going to change anything.

Love comes softly and when it wants to. Sometimes we wish we could just control who we can love, and who can love us...But its out of our control.

I say just move on...i know its going to be hard, but meet new guys. Expand your discovery of the world..and be patient.
<3 Good luck

Ive been there! Same thing with me, but we only dated for like 3 months, very intense! I fell head over heels for him. He broke up w/me for someone else. I was devistated, crushed, hurt, u name it i felt it. Well after about 3 months went by i texted him. We texted here n there and chatted a few times. He loved her and it hurt to hear. Then when KARMA came around and bit him in the ass cuz she dumped him for someone else, guess who was there to catch his fall and be the shoulder to cry on....ME!! So we became the "friends w/benefits". I handled it for awhile then our friends were saying we might as well be bf/gf cuz we did "couples" things...dinner, movies, going out, sleeping together. LOL! Eventually i told him we need to talk and we did and we've been back together since March of this yr. We had a 1 week break up in July, I was strong for that one tho and he wasnt. He missed me and wanted me back(love that!). Hes been living w/me since Aug. We have hit sum speed bumps but we're working on it. Hes very comfortable in the relationship and im wanting spice!!! haha. So i say go with ur gut n tell him if u feel the need to. You're not promised tomoro and if its gonna end, let it end now before u fall more in love w/him. I know its hard but u have to. Good luck : )