As hard as it may be and no doubt you will be remembering all the good times and how things used to be. Focus on the fact that he was a total loser to break up with you like that with no explanation and didn't even have the guts to do it face to face. Do you really want someone like that in your life?! You may never get the answers you're looking for and don't give him the satisfaction of knowing you still think about him. Days will pass when you don't think about him and then weeks. Eventually you will wonder what all the fuss is about. The guy that you meet next will be very glad that you split from your ex.

this exact thing happened to me a year ago now and to be honest, I'm still not over it.
I have a new boyfriend now and he is so much better than that guy before, but I still can't help but think of things because I still have no idea what went wrong.
All I did was rely on friends allllllll the time to take my mind off it, but there is no way.
I recommend turning up at his house and demanding an explanation so you can get on with things :/

I guess the question here is how to get closure without the other person, right? It takes time... but you will learn to forgive that he was stupid and complete jerk about it. And you will forgive yourself for not seeing it sooner... And you'll have a rebound relationship or two.
But when all is said and done, you'll move on and feel much better a person.
This kind of thing is all about time, patience, and learning from your mistakes, and especially learning from his.
Hang in there girl. You'll move on in no time at all.

being psychic and having psychic friends help me lol
uhm i know that may sound odd to some of you but if by chance you know someone maybe they can help you understand where his head was at.
stay strong.

Been there. I was with a guy for 4 years and he pulled that! He had moved and came up to visit. Spent the day with me, was intimate and texted he made it home....then I never heard from him again until out of the blue 3 months later with some random excuse as to what happened. He had cheated continuously and convinced me it was all my fault so I kept giving him chances then he bails with no reason. That was the most painful thing I had ever endured. I just wanted to know why and it killed me to know that I meant so little after 4yrs that he could use me then just disappear like a coward.

You have to find a way to cope. I started living in the gym, which helped in two ways because I was looking good and it helped the self-esteem he destroyed and it exhausted me to the point I could sleep. There was no eating or sleeping for awhile since thats what stress does to me. And it was the good sleep that you dont dream in so he finally quit haunting me there too.

Unfortunately, when he emailed me 3 months later I wanted that closure so bad I responded. Plus I loved him...I couldnt just turn it off like he had even if he didnt deserve my love. Well, he always was a huge liar and he hadnt changed. He acted as if he was so sorry and saw what he lost as he put it and begged me back and like a fool I bought it....only to find out he was on Facebook doing the same with a couple other girls.

I finally figured out the low self esteem is actually his problem and thats why he does what he does. I turned the hurt to anger so he couldnt get close enough to hurt me and quit initiating contact. Of course, then he wanted what he couldnt have so he turned the charm on...to my face but he will never change and I bet money he's still screwing around on Facebook because his ego needs that.

Bottom line, time does heal all wounds and you have to give yourself that time. I couldnt go where we went or listen to songs he had sent when they came on the radio and when he decided to show back up I was so mad because I had finally turned that corner and people even noticed I was happier than I had ever been...even when I was with him. Like he knew I was finally getting to be ok...bam here he is again.

It will get better I promise!!

This is the exact same thing Im going through right now! We've been together a year in Sept. and we bicker alot about silly things but never really had a big arguement about anything! Ever! We would always say we needed to stop the petty stuff each time. About the first week of Oct we got in another silly one and he said that was it and we did the same thing...blocked each from Facebook and argued back and forth by texing. I even went to his house like someone above suggested to talk and get the closure I needed and he had the police pull in behind me when I pulled in the drive! He had even told me to come over there and get my stuff! But wait it gets better.

Two days later I get an email that he didnt think he could to this that we needed to sit down and make alot of changes! I must have been an idiot but I love him so much and wanted it to work I agreed. But he never would tell when we were going to have this talk. He was playing me back & forth the whole week and I was miserable. Am I in a relationship or not? We finally sat down agreed on things and seemed like things might be ok. Made plans to go out the next night- Sat, That never happened though. He never called or texted to tell me what time he was coming. Finally around 8 I text him and he said he was just getting ready to text me but he'd been sick in bed all day! So I offered to bring movies over and I stayed there the rest of the weekend, but things still werent back to normal.

The following week was touch & go. He may text a few times one day and then Id never hear nothing the next! It was insane! Then Fri. seemed great. We stayed in and things got back to being intimate with us. Kinda seemed like this was starting to get back on tract maybe. Made plans again for a movie on Sat. Well again at 4:30 I get a text to go find something to do with my friends once again hes in bed sick! So again, I offer to just come over but this time he is resistant and would not let me! We had some bad text back & finally forth and finally I stopped. Later that night he sent me a text asking if I went anywhere. I lied said yeah. Didnt want to give him the satisfaction of thinking I sat there all night. He flipped out and said he hoped I had fun dont text him anymore! Its like I couldnt win! The next day I text to see if he feels any better and he say a little. We chat on IM later that night and it was another not so great conversation.

The next day last Mon. he almost loses his job at work for cursing his boss out. Then after treating me like crap all weekend, who does he need to console him? ME! The rest of the week was the same. Touch and go...just felt weird. I was just feeling tired of this. A month is too much. I have dropped so much weight, cant eat, cant sleep, cant focus at work. Its affecting my whole life! I sent him an email Tues. evening that I had some things I needed to talk to him about later. Meaning face to face when we got together on Fri night as usual. He sends me a text at midnight asking what.I told him we would talk later I was in bed. The next monring he text me while I was at work asking me again. I didnt want to text this subject so I made up something and asked him about going to see the movie that we had been trying to see now for 2 weeks on Fri since Sat was Halloween. It took him over an hour to reply and I get back a text that says he has alot going on in his life right now. He cant deal with all this. He thinks its best we just part! I was needless to say, floored!

Im still having a very hard time. I dont know why the reason for all the games and they still havent stopped. I really think he has a serious bipolar issue here or something. I know he was taking medication and just recently stopped. I think this is really causing some of problems but I cant even mention that as he would be highly offended. Im trying to stay busy but I wait for my phone to go off, of sit on the internet and try to see if I can find out what hes doing because he blocked me again on fb! Ive sent emails pouring my heart out offering everything! He doesnt respond! He does respond to text and says he still loves me but he doesnt think it will ever work because of all the drama we have and the argueing we do.He swares its not anotehr girl and I really believe that because hes always home or work. I am at witts end and losing my mind also. I know its probably best I move on since he hasnt been treating well or respecting my feeling at all but I still really do love him and am finding it so difficult to let go! (Sorry for the long response)

Read the book "He's Just Not That Into You." This situation is brought up as an example; basically, guys are non-confrontational cowards when it comes to dealing with women and tears. Sometimes, they take this way out because they're afraid of how you're going to deal with them wanting to split.

As it turns out, in this situation the adage "Living well is the best revenge" really does apply. Find every reason you can to hate him (he gave a really good reason already), let it cool into indifference, and be an awesome, hot single lady. He'll kick himself for it later when he sees you looking happy without him.

the absence of closure in situations like this blows, but closure can't always be found in person. Write up a letter of every little thing you're mad at him about -- but don't send it. Get rid of anything that reminds you of him. If that's not practical, get rid of what you can and make new memories with the rest. Let yourself be angry with him, and find reasons to love yourself. At this stage, it's vitally important to nurture your own sense of self-worth -- you've just been dealt a rough blow by a guy you thought was worth it. You deserve better than that, but it's hard to see what you deserve when you're still reeling.

Love yourself. Above all, love yourself. You're the only person you have to put up with for the rest of your life; D-bags like him will come and go, but as long as you're the person you want to be, the trash won't matter.

Oh god, I've had that happen to me before. We'd only been going out for 6 months, but the shock is still the same. I think the worst part about the whole thing is that you get so frustrated trying to figure out what the hell happened that would make him distant like that. I completely feel you on having no closure either; how can you when they won't respond? There really isn't much one CAN do for closure, but as far as moving on, all you can really do is call him some obscene names and move on. Don't even think about it-and remember-you aren't the one to blame for his sudden disinterest.

you know what. some men just aren't worth your tears and fuss. this happened to my mother (she is in her 40's) and the guy was in his late 30's - they were together for over eight years. he became more and more distant until one day he stopped calling, texting, coming over, everything. mum got sick of chasing him so that was it. no closure. nothing.

some guys are just dead set fuck heads. end of story.

that would be hard, but always remember that it's good you didn't keep going out with someone like that!

that would be hard, but always remember that it's good you didn't keep going out with someone like that!

is happening to me alsoo.I can't get over it.I keep on thinking of him...

Great advice so far ladies. It's so true that if you move on and enjoy life without him, he will be kicking himself later. I went through the exact same thing and funnily enough he came back a year later trying to get me back. He was abusive mentally and physically and I am so glad he left me that way. I hurt for a while but it was totally worth it. When he tried to get me back, he tried his sick abusive bullshit on me again, I sort of fell for it but I knew it was wrong so I made the right decision. It seemed as if it killed him to see I had moved on and found someone who made me extremely happy. I love how that worked out too =) He doesnt deserve the satisfaction of making me miserable since he got away with it for 3 years.

Best of luck sweetie, just focus on yourself and being happy. You don't need a man to have a reason to smile.

So you were dating him for 18 months and you didn't know where he lived/worked?
If you want closure, show up, ask for an explanation, listen, and walk away.
He sounds like a jerk, especially since he hadn't treated you well for months.