Question
Whenever my boyfriend and I make love I can never seem to reach an orgasm. It's been going on for months now and it's really starting to make me and him really self-conscious. We've tried various positions, techniques, etc. and I just can't seem to get there. Most of the time I don't even get close. It's not like it's bad sex, don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy it, but I can't seem to just get there, you know? He feels so bad at this point that he'll hold himself back from having an orgasm every time, so we'll go for at least two hours and have to stop because my body just stops making lubrication and using lube makes me pretty uncomfortable. Any tips that any ladies can give me to actually get there?
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i was going through the same situation. i was with my ex for 4 years, and i only orgasmed once. the only thing you can do is keep trying different techniques really. for the longest time i thought something was wrong with me, but its not true and nothing is wrong with you. hell, just keep going at it ;D lol. i suggest foreplay. especially oral foreplay. dont let it bring you down. and just be supportive of him, and remind him that he still really turns you on. talk dirty too. haha
Actually, I'm pretty damn sure that not all women can. Only a certain percentage of women can reach an actual "vaginal" climax (as opposed to a clitoral). I fall under the very lame percentage that can't. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you either way-- whether you just haven't yet or you just can't. It's very natural. (:
I read somewhere that not all women can, actually it is very rare for a woman to reach the vaginal climax. The only suggestion was to try doggy style because it is an easier reach for your g-spot, but even then it might not work
I, too, am not able to reach a vaginal climax. I can only reach clitoral.
Maybe just not yet, I'm not sure.
For the longest time I thought something was wrong with me too, but I realized finally that I just can't. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just the way I was made, and that's ok too.
well now the question is, if someone is clitoral, and someone ever reach a vaginal climax?
Yep. I testify. But it's difficult for me to reach a vaginal climax, and it took 3 months to.. It's different for everyone!
Well, it was the same for me - from the time I lost my virginity to when I met my current boyfriend (about 4 years) I had maybe 3 vaginal orgasms, none of them very life-shattering. I dated one guy for 2 years, another for a year, and had my single time too, and nothing was super satisfying. Then I meet my boyfriend, and the second time we had sex I had a vaginal orgasm!! I was amazed. I don't know what did it - I think it's just the shape of him. Now, we don't got one time without me having a vaginal orgasm at least twice. It will happen someday. I know there's a small percentage of women who can't, and that's perfectly fine too. There are definitely clitoral ways to change it up and have fun! Good luck!
Not all women can always reach an orgasm ecery time they have sex...it may help you tho if he reachs ur G-spot n see if that works for you...if you dnt know where your G-spot is just have fun trying to find it with ur man!
I had the same problem with my ex, I was young though, and I have still never reached a vaginal orgasm (haven't had the opportunity since i broke up with him).. clitoral is much easier to reach and so if he wants to give you an orgasm he might want to try giving you oral pleasure instead. But that doesnt mean you have to stop trying to get a vaginal orgasm. Keep trying different techniques but still have some oral fun on the side.. at least if he gives you one that way he won't feel nearly as bad =)
Same problem...Some things i have found to help. Try ALOT of fore play, mayb get you ad ur partner really close to coming then just go for it...keep warm, wear socks if you need to (apparently this is the number one prb with not getting in the mood) and relax, girls come more easily if they are relaxed and not thinking too hard about getting that perfect O. Mayb just have a few quickies for a week or so, so that your not looking for an orgasim, you might just get so hot and bothered that all you need to do is orgasim. Have fun!!!!
its actually a total myth about a certain percentage of women not being able to orgasm.....just try out new things and dont think about it, sex is meant to be fun and a special moment to share with your partner...so you shouldnt worry and just enjoy it!!!
women can orgasm vaginally, but it IS common for women who don't. Try different positions, and most importantly, TRY TO HAVE FUN!! Seduce eachother, DON'T think about what you CAN'T do, think about what you want to do.
Another thing you can think of, is botox. :P sounds funny doesn't it? But you can actually get a botox injection into your G-spot, to make it bigger, which many women say has helped them have a vaginal orgasm.
:P
there are a lot of techniques to reach an orgasm. as many have said, its VERY hard to have a vaginal orgasm. you need to have fun and be comfortable with each other. cheaper than botox is a little vibrator ;) you can even go to any supermarket and they have little vibrating finger pads ;) lots of fun! I personally have had many vaginal orgasms, but sometimes its just not going to happen...so i go for the clitoral orgasm. its not a big deal, and not something to be embarassed about. :)
Honestly, doggy-style position works really well for me. Especially when he's going really fast/hard. Good luck to you!
Oh...I am so glad that I am not the only one in this world who can't orgasm during sex....I have no problem doing it myself but with a partner NO...Thanks everyone for your awsome advice
Me too. I can get myself there myself but when I'm having sex with my husband? Never. :/ Oh well. We still enjoy it and have fun :)
I'm the exact same way. I can do it myself, but I've never orgasmed with a partner- neither clitoral nor vaginal. I used to care, but sex still feels great, so it's not like I'm lying there bored or anything, haha. My boyfriend gave up trying to make me orgasm, and now we just have fun, it's better when I'm not trying to finish. If it comes one day, great, but if not, I'll live, lol.
one thing that works for me, is being on top, that way i can move to how it feels good to me, and it always feels good to him. lol. you know what feels good the best, so girl, get on top! lol. and it also helps, if your leaning back slightly, while he's laying down, have him rub your clit. its worked wonders for me. lol. and foreplay helps a lot too. for me, it helps get me "excited" ;) lol. either go for oral, or have him finger you. but like everyone has said, just have fun! also, have you guys tried any "toys"? they make a bunch that are for both of you, not just you. ;) try your local sex shop, or if you're shy, you can always go to a surprise parties website. (thats where i get all my stuff).
Dont feel too stressed out or bad about it, either of you. An orgasm for women tends to be harder than for men, it counts on so many more things like mental turn-ons, the right mood, feeling, techniques etc...it's no easy feat!! I can only reach clitoral orgasm right now, all of my past boyfriends have been trying to give me a vaginal one, but it hasnt worked. It's just one of those things that may or may not happen! I'd suggest just trying to have a clitoral orgasm instead, then at least you're HAVING one! It will also boost your boyfriends confidence and make him strive more to give you a vaginal one ^^ Things like massage, doing erotic dance, just lying with each other and stimulating each other erogenous zones can really help build up that mood...anything from kissing to him licking you out, will help you get there!
Good luck!!
Yeah, being on top is definitely the way to go, complete control. You'll get there some day, you just haven't found the right angle yet, I had the same problem. Make sure you completely reassure your guy that it's not his fault that you're not reaching climax-guys never let on how important sexual performance is to them. Just get creative-ever read The Kama Sutra?
I orgasm through foreplay 90% of the time. Sex is a nice bonus at the end. If not during foreplay being on top is the next best thing!
I hope that this posts, as I am having issues with my internet connection. i would like to say that, as a lot of women have already stated, not being able to have an orgasm is completely NORMAL. I thought that i fell into that category for a lot of long years. But I have to testify, that my husband is a miracle worker. the second time we ever made love, i reached a full orgasm and i didn't even know what hit me... i made him stop, and i was like.... what was THAT??? because i have never been able to have a true vaginal orgasm, just clitoral... Maybe you haven't found the right position, or maybe you haven't found the right someone... who knows? but best of luck to you! I hope it changes for the better :) later.
Have you ever heard that for women an orgasm is mostly mental?
Have you ever noticed that you aren't totally in the moment when you are with him?
I had this problem for years. I thought that it was utterly impossible for me to get anywhere with anyone, no matter their expertise.
Until I met the man that I have been with for over two years now. He made me feel comfortable with who I was and that was a big thing. My main issue was that I wasn't comfortable about me so I could never get anywhere. Change your thought process and sit down and talk to your boyfriend about it. Assure him that it isn't him.
Experiment a lot as well . . .try things out but really be comfortable first.
one thing u got to remeber is that every woman is different, some women just dnt orgasm or maybe u can but are just not in the right mind frame to experience one at that moment. it cud be due to ur high expectations or nervousness! it cud also be due to ur sexing techniques and how much aroused u are. have u tried clitoral stimulation? maybe dat maybe it! it really doesnt have 2 be a vaginal orgasm....clitoral orgasm is more common! read artcles...find out ways...it might require u finding ur G-spot too so dat u guys knw d right spot and how to get there! I hope this helps. cheers!
I hae never had one too and same with many other women. so it isn't really dat abnormal. if u think it's dat vital..then fake one...lol
preach!
Does anyone know how it feels to reach an orgasim? How do you know when you are close?
For the longest time I was never able to reach an orgasm at all.. but when I did I realized because as mentioned before it's a mental thing.. you have to get yourself totally in the mood and worked up and you have to keep your mind on the sex, just think about what turns you on.. that works best for me but still i very rarely get orgasms with my bf.. i usually just help him along.. I think it's partly because i don't want to let go of myself in front of him
Just help him along. Its not bad to play with yourself while hes workin. :P
Seriously, a good way is to let him finger you while your rubbing. It feels insane.
For a long time my boyfriend and I made love without me reaching orgasm. I cannot reach vaginal orgasm. Then, we discovered oral sex. I'll tell you that when he's doing all the work, it feels amazing. Have him finger you, stimulating the G-spot, while he's stimulating your clitoris with his tongue. When it comes, you won't know what hit you. It's the most amazing feeling, ever.
simple:
may not work, just a suggestion.
DoggyStyle && just don't think about it let yourself go,
and if you have to, think about everything he does that just
makes you have butterflies && lights you up inside.
Get a vibrating cock ring for him to use. Also try on on top, but instead of cowgirl rest your chest against his as he's laying down. If you move correctly it will stimulate your clitoris and give you an orgasm. Also see if he will try dirty talk with you. Girls minds tend to wander during sex, and dirty talk can keep you turned on. Maybe try different brands of lube as well. While some will feel gross, others don't feel as sticky, and will make it all more enjoyable for you.
Durex Play lubricants are a pretty big deal XD