Question
I had a really bad breakup a while back and I was struggling to get over it. I eventually persuaded myself to get back on the horse and go out with an ex. We hooked up and I got an STD. I've not really been able to accept it and I can't even dream of trying to have a sex life now. I'm not even 30 and I feel like my life is ruined. No one ever talks about this horrid aspect of hooking up. They only make fun of it in movies. How do I convince myself I have a romantic future? I know I'm not the only one out there, but I'm not sure how to deal with this part of my life. I just ignore it. Any advice? :(
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I think it all depends on what kind of STD it is. There are some that can be cured, and some that come and go in waves (so far as I know) I've never read up on Herpes (for example) but what I've deduced from watch the commercials for the medication is that you can have sex, so long as you don't have an outbreak...similar to herpes of the mouth. I would go to your doctor and see what your possibilities are. Do as much research as possible and find out everything you can.
With Herpes, there is a 10% chance of the other person still catching it inbetween outbreaks (N)
That was rude. She was clearly having a hard time, so cut her some slack. Also, I'd like to point out that condoms don't answer all your problems. The latex is often cheap, so there are small holes big enough to allow sperm and stds through. So I wouldn't just assume since you used a condom you're good to go.
That's true, just because you use a condom doesn't mean t protects yout from getting and STD. Actually i don't think they protect against that very well at all..=/
i dont understand wot u thought was rude from the 1st girls comment i didnt think she was bein rude
Funny, I didn't think I was being rude either.
I wasn't coddling her, she doesn't need that right now. She needs to know what she's dealing with. Panic doesn't solve her predicament unfortunately :( And neither does telling her everything will be fine, when we can't possibly know that.
Talking with her doctor and doing her own research will give her a better idea of what she can do.
I don't know either.. I agree with you.
Ha maybe it wasn't to your comment? One that got deleted? It didn't seem to respond to yours or be a "reply" so maybe she didn't mean you! You said nothing rude.
Yes, its true that it really doesn't get talked about in a realistic manner. I was with my boyfriend for 15 months and acquired an STD from him when he cheated on me. This one takes a decent time for your body to rid itself of it. I was crushed just like you, but I have since had to deal with it and it is not the end of your sexlife. It really is not. I have told three guys about it, and all were accepting. I only slept with the one I dated, but the fact is that any real man isn't going to judge you. Just being honest with someone about it shows maturity, and they should acknowledge that. Be very selective of who you intend on sleeping with and tell, since people are judgemental. The important thing to remember is that anyone who really thinks its a big deal is not a kind of person you want in your life anyways.
Go to your doctor, find out hows the quickest way to get rid of the STD. you just need to keep telling yourself that this really isnt the end of the world, its a learning curve, sommething went wrong, and now you know how to avoid it in the future. it wont be the end of your sex life, you just need to re-build some confidence. Really its up to you how you do it, whether it be hanging out with your mates, or maybe you just need to wait for the right guy to come along.
I really hope things pick up soon for you xx
My sister cheated on her fiance and ended up getting chlamydia. Yes this is one that you can get rid of. She felt offal and of course did have to tell him and the other guy. She is still with her man now and they have put things in the past. I'm not sure what STD you have but I do know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. When you find the right man he will not care that you have a STD. There are always ways to get around it to be able to have sex again. Talk to your Dr. I'm sure she/he will have ideas on how to stay safe during sex even with a STD. Take care love, best wish's for you
It is NOT the end of the world. I was in your shoes a couple of years ago. Some guys are not accepting because they are not educated on STDs. But there is someone out there who will accept you. If he is a true man he will like you for you. Just be honest and up front about it when you get into a relationship. He will like your honesty as well. It took me a long time to accept it, but it's not your fault. I hope this advice helps.
Go see your GP. The sooner you go, the more chance there is of getting rid of it. Dont give up bub x
Really depends on your STD. You could still have a sex life with someone who has something like herpes as well. Or maybe it's one you can cure. I wish you the best either way! But I would talk to your girly doctor. She/he will know exactly how to help!