Question
What do you do when you feel, you're a few pages ahead of your partner? My partner is finally wanting everything I want, but I wanted this six months ago. I feel I outgrew him, but I love him and wanna be with him, but honestly I think it's too late and I'm at my breaking point, but how am i supposed to be with him, if I don't feel that connection? I don't feel like I can try anymore and I don't have it in me, but is it best for my to go on my own way if we have a daughter? I'm afraid of breaking a family up..
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That little girl was me. Don't for the sake of her. You can make it work if you want to, preservation.
I was married for 26 years.. and what Iearned in that time is that marriage goes in ebb and flow.. nobody is on the same page all the time. life is not always easy or even. Mostly its bumpy and lumpy and sometimes downright tough. But it has only been six months and he is already showing signs of pulling up his sock's and doing the work then you need to acknowledge that. Also there is more going on here than just this.. take a look at what it is about for you before you jump ship.. its not a easy thing to do so make sure its what you really want..
If that connection is no longer there and you truely feel that you have in a sense 'passed him up' emotionally, intellectually, etc i would suggest first (for the sake of your child) to see a marriage and family therapist. If you still arent happy, the worst thing you can do for your child is to stay in a loveless relationship. one or both of you could become bitter, and kids can sense things you wouldnt imagine. If your daughter sees you happy being single, or with another man(one you wait a while before you introduce him to her), she will be fine. If she see's you and your man constantly fighting, arguing and miserable together, she will sense those emotions and it will only hurt her in the end.My parents are divorced(since i was 4), and honestly, its the best thing they ever did for me and my older brother. when they were together they were miserable, always fighting, etc. Now they are both in happy marriages with other people. it was a change at first, but i got used to it quickly and i enjoy having step brothers and step parents. when i see my parents happy, it makes me happy. As long as your daughter is still able to have a relationship with her dad and see him regularly, she will be happy too. If, however, you try to keep her from him or him from her, she will eventually realize this and harbor bitterness towards you for keeping her dad from her and vice versa. As long as he's a good father, just because your relationship with him hit a wall doesnt mean you have to stay with him just for your daughters sake. As long as she understands its not her fault that mommy and daddy are no longer in love or living together, she will develop like any other child and live a happy and successful life.