you need to just tell him that you can't speak to him for a while and try not to think about him. go out and try to have fun with some girlfriends, go out to a club or even just a spa day. thinking about the situation is just going to make you depressed.

Im going through the same thing, only my guy is getting engaged to the thing he left me for. Love, he was cheating on you. Im sorry but its very likely.

My plan is that when he gets engaged this month, im telling him that im not talking to him anymore. im breaking all my ties with him. Its taken me 3 years to summon up the courage to do this. He left me 3 years ago and it took me this long to stop acting like a lovesick puppy and finally put him in his place. He wants you, and the other girl. DONT give him both.

The BEST thing you can do is unfortunatley the hardest choice:

BREAK YOUR TIES WITH HIM.
Ignore him. Block his number, distroy his email, throw out all the pictures and anything he left behind. Get ANGRY and toss it all away. Theres nothing wrong with being mad for hurting you like that.

And remember sweety, dont blame yourself. YOU didnt do it. He did it. He missed his chance at a wonderful life with a wonderful girl. Remember that.

Also remember that atter down the road he might wanna be with you again. But how do you know he wont go and pull the same thing on you?

After its all over you'll start to feel a little peace again.

I wish you all the luck in the world sweety<3

Totally agree with above post...distance yourself completely (for at the very least 6 months)...the only one you're hurting by being on the periphery of his new relationship is yourself. In fairness, you'll probably never know the exact reasons this happened...he probably doesn't really know himself and as for an explanation...forget it. Either way, you've got to stop torturing yourself with "what ifs" or "why?" Start going out again with the girls and fill your evenings by taking up a sport or dance classes or something. I know it all sounds cliched by that's exactly what I did and two years down the line after a 9 year relationship I'm like a new person. It wasn't easy particularly the first year but the less contact you have, the less painful it becomes until eventually it goes away.

I absolutely agree with the posts above.
I just got into a breakup and I find it's soothing to play whatever music goes with your mood at the moment. But in the end, play something that can make you feel better, like something more positive. Find a song that has lyrics that go with what you're feeling. For instance, I'm listening to Queen's "The Show Must Go On." That's only a short term fix, go out with your friends more and party. It'll take a while, and feel free to hang out with friends and watch movies all day eating popcorn and stuff.
Good luck, dear, hope it gets better.

Hello beautiful!!!!!!!! You just have to let go, just let go. Beacause you're too much for him. Go out, but carefully (dnt take't like you dnt deserve to have someone....and do crazy things). Go to gym or to run every day....change youre life style. Do plans for the future and visualize your self in all the thing that U REALLY need and wants! Eventually life came together awaing and youre going to be more happy than you ever dream about it. I do it and I have more than I imagine!
Bless U and dnt forget to cry (is good for the soul)!!!!!!!!!
Josy

I'm going through the same thing, buts its hard not thinking @ the potenial relationship. Hell he wants me to keep taking the fertility drugs incase we get back together 3 -6 months from now. I joined a new gym yesterday and got more involved with my church.

i am in the same situation. just move on and don't look back. remember all the good things happened in your relationship and smile, but try not to hold up to it, expecting that there are still a possibility of getting back together. relationship, commitment just don't evolve in just all the happy times, love, trust and loyalty shows even things are as rough as concrete.
you need a good help from your friends, do not distract yourself.. jusy carry on, with one baggage off off your shoulder. goodluck!

That sounds like an awful situation!! im still trying to move on from the first guy i ever truly loved and its been a year and i am still finding it so so hard. however, getting out and doing something physical can really help. i run a lot, and it helps me to think of it as though i am running further and further from the pain every time. also, avoid contact with him, even though it is the only thing you truly want, because it'll only upset you even more. cut your ties and move forward into a better future where you can find out about yourself and start working towards your dreams. x

I hope you find some comfort in the fact that so many women here can relate to what you're going through! Whether or not he was cheating is almost irrelevant anyway, the point is he is not mature enough for a real relationship and commitment. When we are that close with someone it WILL take a long time to get over it. Unfortunately, there's no way to rush through that without experiencing all the difficult, negative feelings that go along with it. However, if you give it time - and YES, you must distance yourself from him - your world will start to come in to balance again. I think the worst thing we can do is minimize the impact these things have on us and put pressure on ourselves to "go out dancing and get a massage" and feel better in a matter of weeks. Life is not that simple, and neither are our feelings. Don't beat yourself up for not moving faster, everyone's healing process functions at a different pace.

I've gone through pretty much the same thing. It's been nearly a year that my ex and I haven't been together, and honestly i'm still dealing with pain and questions. However, I've been leaning on God, and He has helped me fill the "void" in my heart by placing great friends in my life and giving me opportunities to have fun and enjoy life! By keeping myself occupied, I've been able to keep my mind off my ex and ultimately just feel bad for him. Just remember that you're strong and he lost a great girl, he won't ever find someone like you again and he knows it..that's why he calls you and tries to keep you in his life. I know this is hard, but honestly you just need to tell him that you're done. Good Luck sweetie

I honestly just finished going through this same thing also. Tonight after months of still talking and pretending we are such great friends and me pretending I was so "over" him. He stood me up tonight and it brought me right back to that weak, sad, love sick person I was before and I am angry for allowing this to happen. I say break it off, leave it all behind you, your life is more than that! you are better and greater than this.

I just wanna say all these post really helped me and comforted me, i gave myself a horrible day just by reminiscing and thinking about "what if's". I broke ties with "him", he tried to keep me in his life but i walked away, its been about 5 months now nd i cnt say im fully recovered, but i am a happier without him in my life, and i know ive become a stronger woman because of it. Thank you all for being strong women.

same thing is happening to me right now. treat yourself. go to spas, go shopping. act like the queen you are and cut your ties with him. remember, if he's going to do that he never deserved you anyway!

All I can say is that if you don't have kids with him stop all contact and DO NOT have sex with him because that makes it harder to let go. I cry everyday and this has been happening for 5 months. I have contact with him because we have a child but I make it worse on myself by still being with him. So I'm taking my own advice as well. It's been a month that I have not been with him but it's been hard. I still cry everyday. He moved in with another woman 2 months after our breakup. People like these guys never change because they just repeat the same crap to new women and when they get caught up they move on. It's him not you.

love isn't done only when when we expect that the other person may love us...it is done jus coz we know we love him....so its necessary to understan our love what r their thoughts....may be he is a difficult situation or may be he has something hidden from u so that u wont be hurt so talk to him properly n in case u really wanna forget him jus cut his phone dont pick it up he will try for some days then he will b tired then try to forget him remember all the bad things he has done to u the hurts he gave u...n enjoy being alone engage urself in other acts u will forget him for sure....good luck...

no matter what happens....when you think that your falling for him again, remember the fact that there is a guy out there for you that will treat you like a princess....it seems pretty unlbelieveable sometimes, but good guys do exsist, and just rememeber that this guy obviously doesnt match up. There is someone out there who is perfect for you, don't settle for anything less....no matter what.

time...

Honey, you did nothing wrong. NOTHING. This is something I am learning too. And god how we learn, right? One of my wise friends once told me that if it wasn't meant to happen, something else will. She didn't say that if it wasn't meant, it wouldn't happen. She said that something else would. Doesn't that improve things? I know you weren't meant to pine forever. I wasn't either. We none of us are. We're meant to be loved by someone we love, too. And anyone, ANYONE who can move on that fast isn't worth pining over. Those who don't understand love - in a serious way, not in the way we all fail to understand it - don't leave themselves open to it, and they will wind up in the soup. You watch: one of these days, you'll be walking down the street, dreaming about your perfect situation (whatever that is: beloved, in a beautiful house, at an amazing job, whatever) and you'll see a bum on the side of the road...guess who it will be. You have a chance, now, to open yourself up. Find someone who will listen, someone who can look into your eyes and know it's not time to ask you out, but rather time to buy you some friendly coffee and pat you on the shoulder. The one who helps you get up from this will be a friend for life, probably, even if you never even date. So open up. Let the old go. (Yes I know it's hard, believe me, I do, I'm going through something similar, but I can't hate him because he's done nothing wrong...anyway...) Get angry a little. And wear brighter colors - you do look nice in tan and blue and black, but try a bit of red, maybe (maybe) some yellow. It's a great season for scarves. :) Chin up. Things will improve, I promise!

hey

the first thing you have to do is break all ties and block him out for good. and serioulsy trust me dn't look for what u did wrong cuz he called it off soo its his problem!!! i knw itz hard but u have to stop being friends wth him it never works u cant be friends wth ur X boyfriend!!! take a vacation!! do sth u always wanted to do!! make big change in ur life and reset your dreams!!! gud luck!!!!

I've the about the same experience as you.. However, i took longer.. It's been almost 2 years and i still can't get over.. The hurt (impact) is too huge for one to bear.. I dunno if one can control feelings, coz it may be hard to stop lovin' someone (by choice).. But i believe you can do it (naturally) when the time is right/ when you meet somone better (which you definitely will).. God created someone for everyone.. You just gotta believe, and be patient, the right one will come..

Bless you strength to pull thru' this period..

I've the about the same experience as you.. However, i took longer.. It's been almost 2 years and i still can't get over.. The hurt (impact) is too huge for one to bear.. I dunno if one can control feelings, coz it may be hard to stop lovin' someone (by choice).. But i believe you can do it (naturally) when the time is right/ when you meet somone better (which you definitely will).. God created someone for everyone.. You just gotta believe, and be patient, the right one will come..

Bless you strength to pull thru' this period..

Been thru it quite a few times. As soon as you feel strong they come back to knock you down. Its the expression they want what they cant have. As soon as he thinks you are getting over him he comes back around. You have to love yourself MORE than him. He obviously doesnt deserve you or your love. It is absolutely important you remove him from your life completely. Hes just keeping you on the backburner. Men are dummies. They want a challenge, when theres no more challenge they interest is gone. Be strong girl! As you can read it happens to all of us! Stay busy be with friends and date- nothing serious not yet but a nice confidence boost will enpower you and you will feel better. Think about the situation as if it was happening to your best friend_ what would you tell her? Follow that advice. Time heals ALL wounds honey.

this is such a good website.. i found many ppl have the same experience as me and . give me more support to get over of a dead past relationship. right we should cut off ties with him. even how happy the love was, how deep the love was, it was all past.. i hope i can move on quickly and best wish for u ..we can do it if we believe that right!!! let's move on!!!

Hey Girlie,
I am going through the same exact problem!!!! Reading all of these problems from other girls dealing with the same issues actually makes me feel better. We are all the same great women being controlled by these men who can't step up, realize what they had, and that are minipulative. We can not see how they have such a tight hold on us and they are using our love for them against us. It's very sad. They are lowering our self esteem at the same time too!!!!!
We need to break free from this chain of bad men. They are no good for us, and the terrible things is....we know this! We know they are NO GOOD for us and still we love them and help them. We questions what is wrong with us before we ask ourselves what is wrong with them. I say go out, find yourself and what YOU want!!!! STOP ALWAYS THINKING WHAT THEY WANT! Reading all this today is making me CUT ALL TIES with my ex of 6 years that I thought was "the one", that i thought i would marry, that i thought i would have my first born with. But I am stopping the circle!!!! He is no good for me and I wish him the best, but FAR FAR AWAY FROM ME!
We have been through everything a couple of 6 years could be through, but it doesnt matter anymore because I wont let myself look back. Always move forward!!!!
We all have the same situation, so lets change it!

I was going through the same exact thing and he ended up dating my friend right after we broke up, but I now have a new bf and it has made it so much easier, just get back out there and know that your a way better person than someone who treats you like that!
I wish you the best of luck!!!

Defiently cut all the ties with him, any numbers, email, facebook etc...
I was with my ex for just over a year, and for months after i couldnt get over him, everythign i did reminded me of him, people told me to ignore him, delete him out of my life and i just ignored them, i didnt want to. But when i realised hwo stupid i was knowing that him and me would never get back together, i finally did delete him off everything and all numbers were gone. The only thing i kept was pictures, now i realise i should of cut him out completely because i dont have any feelings towards him at all, looking back at the photos just makes me think how i was happy and it was a good year of my life, but it's my past i dont need him and i really dont care what he is doing like i used to.