Question: Can there really be friendship after love?...

No. It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken. Read it and then give yourself sixty days to not contact him and gain some clarity.

You'll be okay, but don't have sex with a guy you're not with, yet emotionally attached to. You will only end up hurt.

This just shows you how complicated relationships get ! I think its almost impossible to have sex and not get emotionally involved unless its just the once and you never see them again ! but you are both very emotionally involved and I think you are not being honest with yourself about what you really want which is a relationship, its not a good idea to settle for anything less as you will just get very confused and hurt in the process. I wouldnt waste any time hoping he will change his mind, but try and figure out what you really want and dont settle for anything else.

Can't live with each other, but you can't live without each other either...sounds familiar. You got stuck in a rut of being together, you mistook friendship love as true love, you lusted after each other but it really doesn't work? I had that too, and now me and him are best friends but we'll never be lovers. I think if you get into a habit, it's easy to forget that it doesn't work but you know it doesn't work, so you should tell him you are just gonna be friends, not with benefits, or nothing at all. You obviously made good friends and you need each other, but you can't be together. Hth.

What's crazy about situations like these is that the guy never asks the same questions girls do, in all honesty what do guys talk about when they talk about these situations? They just want sex "yeah haha she still wants me!" Ridiculous that we have to ask more in depth questions based on our emotions!!

no no no ahahaha the guy i broke up with 4 months ago cheated on me. this new guy never did any such thing.
what i meant to say was i dont think the having sex with him will trip me up only because i never was madly in love with him because i wasnt completly over the ex ex bf who cheated on me.

He cheated on you, don't use him for sex, and don't let him use you for sex! Be his friend only, he says he is trying to work himself out, well the sex is just complicating things more - there are plenty more fish in the sea and this shit cheated, you don't really want him do you, it is probably just 'cause he is there you are sleeping with him. If its hard when he rings don't answer for awhile, don't be there when he probably just wants sex! Good Luck! ;-)

thank you for all your comments. especially tess you helped a lot.
i dont think it will trip me up at all having sex with him because its sad to say but im not sad that were not together bcause i know were better off as friends. what still hurts is the guy who cheated on me. i dont want him back in any which way even though he calls me but its just the hardest thing to deal with. knowing that a guy cheated on me after all i have done for him and knowing how much i was in love with him
thanks again everyone

1) Talk with him. Ask him straight up if he thinks having sex is complicating things on his end. You seem pretty sure about yourself that you don't want a commitment from him, but you don't like feeling lonely either; if he's in the same boat, then neither of you have anything to lose.

2) Talk to yourself. Ask yourself, every time you're about to go over and fool around, if you're still going to respect yourself the next morning. If the answer is a resounding "yes", then have fun! If you have ANY misgivings, don't go through with it. As soon as things stop feeling okay, STOP.

3) Constantly reevaluate your position. Situations like this typically don't stay static for long; if you notice any changes in yourself or him, stop and double check that what you're doing feels right.

Yes, it is possible to stay friends with an ex. Yes, you can even still sleep with one sometimes, as long as the emotional waters aren't too murky. It's that murkiness that trips people up a lot, though. I can't stress enough how important it is to be clear on your position, and make sure he's clear on his. One miscommunication can do a whole lot of damage. Respect yourself and respect your friend; if it seems like he's in a relationship with you without it actually being a relationship, you need to step back and talk to him.

I was in the same situation. It sucks. I would really recommend that you stop having sex with him. You can still be friends but with out the sex. The sex is the biggest part of the complication.

First off i don't think he and you are just friends. if your having sex, your still the guy's lover, regardless of whether you both are up to being in a relationship or not. and yeahhh after sex it's gonna be really hard to just stay friends if you are not having sex anymore because you're both going to want the intimacy of the other person. he's gonna want you for sex, and your gonna want him for sex in other words. So I don't think it's possible to be "just friends" if your having sex together.. it's a bit deeper then that... regardless of what either of you really wants out of this.

Sounds to me, like from what you've said, he's not interested in commitment, and he just wants to keep having sex without the complexity of an actual relationship. so it's up to you whether or not you wanna stay with this guy, but take my advice... if you ever want it to be more then just a friends with benefits relationship, and have an actual relationship with the guy, chances are he's never going to want that, and you'll just have to either deal with it, or move on to someone who's willing to take the time and effort to make you happy outside of the bedroom as well. Just don't get your hopes up that he'll ever be willing to commit, and be with you, and you alone. 'cause he doesn't seem like that kind of guy in my honest opinion..

Good luck, i hope it all turns out good for ya.