Question: "He offered her the world. She said...

In terms of relationships, to me independence means that I'm not afraid to hold anything back, being myself. It means I shouldn't be afraid to go up to him and share my plans and that he should be able to do the same. If it conflicts with something, we should be able to talk it out.

A healthy relationship means both are going to have to give up something, there are the obvious things like going out with other people, but there are the subtle things as well, like having to ask if they approve of something (like wall color or who's house to go to for a holiday, etc) that you didn't have to before. But, these restrictions shouldn't keep you from being yourself, if anything it should encourage you. It's someone being there to tell you that you're not always right and vice versa.

thx i never really saw it that way before.

Independence is being able to pursue my interests, see my friends, spend my time the way I want without having any upset from my partner. I have had relationships in which my partner tried to stop me, guilt me, or shame me away from doing what I wanted. Now I have a partner who says, "Honey, if it makes you happy, why would I want to stop you?" He and I live together, so there are PLENTY of shared decisions, shared plans (both day-to-day and longer-term), so "independence" doesn't mean, "I just do what I want, and to heck with you." It means we get to be ourselves. That's what attracted us to each other in the first place!