Question: How can I "take charge" in the...

Anonymous,

I feel based on the description you provided, you are not looking to do something wild or outrageous or kinky. Sometimes women are intimidated because when they are in charge they know their partner has full view of your every action. You are in the spotlight, and it is not uncommon to feel this way. I was once in your exact situation. I was very scared. Instead of going all out in one night, try to do things slightly differently. Just because he is on top doesn't mean you cannot be in control, if being on top is the issue. While you are underneath him (in the missionary position) simply grasp his hip bones and your rock your hips and keep eye contact. Eye contact can be intimidating for a man because eyes can't lie, and having the intensity of your hands on his hips and feeling your stomach glide on his while he doesn't have to do anything should startle his senses. New feelings intensifies the sexual experience, ultimately increasing the pleasure of both of your orgasms. For me personally, when I first started experimenting I was very nervous, but start slow. He will notice. Try new rhythms or breath deep in his ear. It will give him goosebumps. After you begin getting more comfortable with your new experiments you'll soon see that every sexual experience can have a different flavor. Find something tiny to mix it up. It will make all the difference in the world. Seeing his reactions will make you feel empowered. Seeing a big strong man at the mercy of you, a female, will eventually be a very wonderful turn on and will add a great variety to your sex life.

-JS

I haven't this exact problem but I know my ex and i were still hookin up and we enjoyed having sex so we did but he always felt in control and initated the situation so i did some research on the subject and just taking the intiative alone works but.. buy the november issue of Cosmopolitan it has a whole article on the subject. Hope it helps :) good luck

Dallas has a good point too.. Start searching on the net for tips and try some of them.. :) Sorry LOL i just refreshed the page i forgot i had it up still.. blah

Oh, I've been in this situation. My fiance (I call him that because he IS the man I plan on marrying, and he plans on marrying me too) had quite the reputation of a 'ladies man' (Though the people I have discussed this with have also called him a lady-killer; a man that will do/say anything to get what he wants then dumps them immediately/soon after). We've been together for over a year and a half and have been having sex since we were three months into the relationship. I was a virgin and it's intimidating because he knows so much more than I do. I found it extremely difficult to get out of my comfort zone just as you do and I hate being dominant.
The way I began to feel comfortable outside of my comfort zone was to experiment. I would search for things and if I came across something interesting I would try it (starting out small of course). If I found something I would keep doing it, the confidence as to how well you do it builds the more you do it. It takes some time, but you'll expand that comfort zone. I warn you though, in order to experiment you will have to go outside of your comfort zone. However, you can't extend that comfort zone if you don't try new things.
That's all I've got to say on the subject and would be willing to answer more questions if you have them.

Honestly.. heres what I would do being in your position.. go get you something you normally wouldnt wear..(bare with me here) Something like a leather mini skirt and top or even changing your make-up to something you dont usually do..something like that.. step out of yourself and become someone else...You dont have to go the dominatrix route but putting yourself out of yourself might help you conquer those fears.. Maybe even blindfold him might help you as well.. If you feel intimidated with being on top...try the reverse cowgirl.. turn your back to him and watch the wall or something like that then just let go.. I can tell you this.. if you do take that dominate role...girl he is going to go CRAZY and sex will be AMAZING!!! But seriously..thats the best thing I can suggest is becoming another person for the night and who knows you might like it.. take things slowly.. and the outcome maybe be better than you think...